My son's friends, do I have to choose them?

Two friends walk together hand in hand through the field.

Parents, from a young age, must instill values ​​in their children, which allow them to make certain decisions, such as choosing their friends.

When you are a child and you begin to have the ability to communicate, the relationship with people outside your closest environment begins. Children choose and make friends, and parents fear what kind of relationship may form and if it is convenient for the child. But should parents get involved in that? Should they choose their children's friends? We are going to talk about it in more detail.

Parental protection: excessive?

Parents usually want to know as much as possible about their child, especially when they begin to form bonds with other children at school, the park, the neighborhood ... Children seek to have friends with whom to spend time, have fun and share almost everything. Sometimes, parents try to limit the ability to freedom of their children for believing other children a bad influence. They are based on value judgments, on the opinions of other people, considering their origin, their economic level, certain ethical, religious or political aspects ...

Parents can advise their children, guide them and from a very young age instill in them values, standards of life and coexistence. Without excessive protection, they will be the ones who will be able to face certain decisions. It is positive that the father watches over the well-being of his son whenever he sees undesirable attitudes on the part of others. If the child is comfortable and at ease they will want to follow the friendship with someone. Otherwise, they will know how to ask for help or expose something that seems inappropriate.

Friendship between children

Two boys, friends, play with the computer.

Parents can see their children's friends frequently, and observe their behavior in order to give their opinion, understand and help solve it.

When the father has previously talked to his son about what it means to be a friend, it will probably make it easier for him to find him and also be one. A father can help in that search, let him know that in a relationship there should be mutual respect and help, but not abuse, humiliation or contempt. The father is the first example of the son, so freedom, responsibility, will be concepts that he will copy to forge a friendship if he sees them in his home.

If the child sees healthy relationships between family members on a daily basis, it will be easy for him to practice with others. It will be of great help to see the generosity to share, the gratitude, the compassion, the help, the affection, the loyalty…, as a regular. If a child surrounds himself with good people and is also good, he will look for something similar to himself. Parents with this premise, and despite the fear of the unknown, will make the child, in the future, the owner of their decisions.

Freedom of choice for friends

The child will act appropriately with another if he has the option of being with whoever he wants, not with whoever is imposed on him. You need to have that own freedom that allows you to choose. After a solid education in values and ideals of respect and solidarity, the little one has a sufficient basis to be able to put children in his circle that he wishes as friends. In some cases that friendship stays on the way, because as in other relationships, when you get to know in depth, it may be that the correct gear is not achieved.

It is not necessary to have many, but good friends. In many cases children have a close friend with whom they do everything and perhaps one or two more to complete a group. The father should listen to the son when he has something to tell about a friend and advise him, explain what is right and what is not. It is a good idea to see the children's friends frequently and observe the behavior by yourself If necessary, they should intervene or help to modify it, even if it is convenient, expose it to their parents. In this way, children will be educated who empathize and help others. It is not advisable to speak ill of his friends, but to support him as much as possible.


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