In this article we want to deal with a complicated situation that sometimes occurs at home: when a boy or a girl begins to insult their parents. It may be a bad word that you have heard at home, at school or with friends and which you do not know the meaning of, or it may be a word that you are fully aware of the pain it causes. Both situations are different and must be faced in different ways.
We are going to try to give you some guidelines on how to behave before your child's insults, both towards you, as well as his siblings, relatives or other children.
The intention of the insult
Without taking it down, you have to see what is the intention of the child when saying the bad word to you. If he says it in isolation and without animosity, it would be logical to think that he has heard it in some context. Parents must be the first to moderate and take care of our vocabulary, because as we have said so many times, children learn by imitation.
There is a stage (more or less) around 4 years the children say tacos. It is a way of showing yourself, and others, that you are no longer little children. In those cases it is best to ignore them, not laugh at their grace, so they don't reinforce this attitude. Sometimes what they want is to get our attention, because they know we are going to scold them. The important thing is to explain that insults can hurt someone else's feelings.
If our son or daughter is angry and in a tantrum begins to insult us, it means that it is part of their expressiveness. What to do is teach him to channel that anger and understand that you can't always get what you want.
Do not forget that in general, from the age of 7, especially when a child insults us, what he tries to do is be in control or feel powerful in a situation. For example, the more you say "stop", or "how many times do I have to tell you not to say that? “His response is usually more aggressive, yelling or even laughing at you.
Tips
Some guidelines that we think can help you are, for example: set limits, be a role model, give it time the child to calm down ... we will explain it to you in more detail.
Set some clear and firm boundaries your children, and do it with your own actions. It is useless if you do not allow them to say bad words and between your friends or when you talk on the phone use them. The rules that you put into practice should be specific and understandable.
If we control and know our emotions and we talk about them with our children, for them it will be easier to express them too. Remember that one of our roles as parents is to make you feel supported and understood in your new emotions. Faced with a complicated situation of insults, "do not enter the rag." The best option is to stay calm and be empathetic, so that the aggressive tone is dropped. In the same way, he reinforces in a positive way when he does not respond aggressively, thus we show him that we value what he does and his positive part.
When your son starts to insult you, he is upset. This is not the best time to talk to him or her. He will not listen to you, much less will he reason. Give him some time to relax, and when he is calmer, talk to him about what he has done, and explain why he is not well and the damage he has been able to do.
How to act if he insults you in public
For many parents it is a embarrassing and very unpleasant situation that our children insult us, and more so if they do it in a public environment. We feel like we have failed and done something wrong. Remember, if your child insults you, don't be offended by the word or the expression itself, and analyze why he told you. What is the reason for his anger or for wanting to make a fool of you.
Make it clear that you will not let it pass, but don't hold it back in public. Keep firm. Your child will know that this is not a game.
En this article You have other tips on how to deal with disrespect from your children.