What do I do if my teenagers fight a lot?

It is normal if teenagers fight, especially if they are siblings. Any insignificance is reason for them to fight as if they were younger children, although they use a different and even more adult language. Sibling fights also serve a useful purpose that they must learn. When children or young people interact with parents, they learn about authority. Instead, interacting with their siblings helps them learn and practice peer relationship skills.

If sibling fights are handled the right way, they will learn different very useful skills for their future social and professional development. Skills such as problem and conflict resolution, empathy, dealing with different opinions, compromise and negotiation will be part of their personalities. For this reason, it is not necessary to prevent them from fighting, what must be done is to try to resolve their differences without the conflict being perpetuated over time.

What to do if my teenagers fight?

teenager looking for a fight

Fights between siblings can generate very strong emotions. Therefore, it is necessary to help them keep the peace while they work to resolve their conflicts. It is not always easy and they may need time before facing their problems together, but the role of the parents is to mediate peacefully so that they solve the problems on their own and serenely. Try asking them to listen to each other's point of view and find a middle ground.

If you're fighting over something physical, like a video game or piece of clothing, for example, take it off until you can work out a solution together. On many occasions, they will not be able to solve their fights by themselves and in that circumstance It will be necessary to intervene so that this problem does not become entrenched in time. Ask them why they are arguing and what they each want. From there, try to find solutions. Make sure that there is a compromise between the two, that is, they have to give in for an agreement to occur.

How to reduce sibling fights in the future?

Teenagers they are very quick to realize that they are treated differently, for better or for worse. And if they find out, they will use it to their advantage. Although it is not what is intended, comparing one of your children with the other will create bad feelings between them. Focus on the strengths of each of them independently. Each one is good or good at one thing, and that's fine. They can help each other and that makes the differences positive.

Spending quality time with each of your children is as important for you as it is for them, as well as being the best way for you to get to know each other better. We must not forget that children are never old enough to spend time with them and keep getting to know them. Explain to them that their age difference means a difference in what they are allowed to do and the responsibilities they have. With this in mind, make sure they receive similar treatment at similar ages.

sisters at odds

Building positive family relationships so siblings don't fight

In a home it is very important to have a personal space that is not disturbed without express consent. Having a room of your own, non-transferable belongings, or time with friends without having to include siblings is important. But it is also just as important to have spaces and time in common with the rest of the family. Sharing hobbies such as sports, shopping, cooking or watching movies together are activities that should be encouraged so that communication between all members is fluid.

In fact, communication is the most important tool in every family. Your children should know that they can talk to you about any issue that worries them, and that you will always try to help them find solutions. Having family meetings to discuss problems will make the family more united when it comes to dealing with internal conflicts. It's a way of positively influence in them. In this way they will be able to observe and learn how their parents negotiate and deal with their differences. They must be aware that it is normal for teenage siblings to fight, but also that resolving conflicts is also common, 

When to seek outside help?

sisters solve problems

Sibling fights peak in early adolescence, when the younger sibling reaches that age. If the younger teen sees an older sibling as another authority figure, fighting can escalate. as the new teen tries to gain independence from both parents and siblings. This distancing from authority figures is part of their development toward maturity.


The most common areas of conflict between the teenage brothers they are equality and fairness, personal space, possessions, and friends. Many times these conflicts become uncontrollable for the family, so it is important to seek outside help. When the sibling fight reaches a point of no return, when it upsets or hurts other people, or the conflict turns into aggressive behavior both verbally and physically, help should be sought.

Discussing the situation with your GP can be a first step. Telling him that your teenage children fight is not something that will surprise him, but if you explain the difficult situation that your family is going through, he will initiate a protocol to help the family. He or she can refer you to a psychologist who specializes in child and adolescent behavior problems. But do not forget to involve both teenagers, the help is needed by both.


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