Aggressive children: born or made

aggressive kids

When a child has aggressive behaviors, it is normal for parents to worry about whether their child is aggressive or is a stage. They break things, hit, bite ... a behavior that if it is in isolation should not be worrying but if it becomes more constant it is time to get serious. Today we talk about the aggressive kids, if they are born or made and the reason for these behaviors.

Aggressive kids

Aggression is an innate trait that humans are born with. We are all capable of inflicting harm on others or ourselves. What differentiates us is what to do with this ability and if we know how to differentiate between what is right and wrong.

When a baby is born, everything is tenderness and love. They awaken a sweet sense of protection and unconditional affection. But over the years, a series of unpleasant behaviors can be awakened that can start from a very young age. Up to 5 years it would be considered part of their normal development process. They have not yet adequately developed the language to be able to express themselves and they do not have any more tools for self-control. Then when feeling invaded by a very intense emotion they can sometimes harm other people or even themselves.

However, sometimes aggressive children go beyond 5 years and they are behaviors that we cannot allow. When a child behaves violently it is important to understand why of this behavior in order to help them.

Why does a child become violent?

  • By imitation. If a child sees aggressive and violent situations at home, it is easier for him to learn to normalize them and copy them into his repertoire. They will solve situations the same way you see it, in a violent way.
  • Language difficulties. As we have already seen, language is a very important part of emotional expression. A learning disability can lead them to express themselves aggressively.
  • Exposure to violence. There are more ways to expose yourself to violence than seeing your parents. Children watch television, video games, movies with a great deal of violence. Children do not understand the difference between fact and fiction that can affect their later imitation. Television has a great influence on children, so it is important to filter what type of content our children see.
  • Little ability to resolve conflicts. As we grow we adapt tools and skills that facilitate our social relationships and conflict resolution. If we do not acquire them, they will solve them in the way they know.
  • Low tolerance for frustration. Poor emotional management of emotions will lead them to explode in the face of intense emotions and react violently.
  • High stress level. A child exposed to high levels of stress tends to be more violent.

violent child

Children learn violence

Children are not born violent, but they learn to be. Fortunately, just as violence is learned, other positive behaviors can be learned. The environment has an important influence on the normalization and use of these behaviors, both the education received, the environment at home, friends, violent scenes on television and video games ...

An education with limits and norms, values, empathy, emotional education and assertiveness are very important so that our children are not violent. Help them to regulate their emotions, to express them appropriately, to feel loved and loved, to resolve conflicts appropriately, to show respect and human values. That the child sees in his parents the example they need is vital. Many times we are not aware of certain behaviors that we have in front of them. They will see how you resolve your conflicts and if you resolve them correctly, without reaching disapproval, bad words, yelling and disqualification. There are many forms of violence, and not just physical. Analyze what kind of behavior your children see in you.

Because remember ... you will be the greatest example of your child.


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