Why don't children stop asking for things?

That the children do not stop asking for things It's something usual and normal. Sometimes they ask to do things like play on the iPad or if they can make a cake. We cannot always give in to their requests, either because it is not the time or simply because it is not time. They also have to learn that they are not always given what they want or ask for.

In fact, we can take advantage of every moment when you ask us for something to help you communicate well and control your emotions, whatever the final answer.

Responding to your requests...

These tips will come in handy whenever your child asks for something, whether you plan to say yes or not.

1. Base your first answer on how your child asks

If your child is asking politely and politely, congratulate him for having good manners. This sends the message that you're paying attention when he addresses you in the right way, even when you're not going to give him what he's asking for.

If your son annoys, complains, demands or threatens youLet him know that if he doesn't ask for things right, you won't even waste time listening to him. For example, you could say, "Marc, keep your voice down, otherwise I can't hear you properly" or "Can you ask me in a nicer way, please?"

2. Listen

Notice what is he asking you the small. Show your child that you have heard and understood them, this makes it easier for them to accept the final answer. It can also help to show a little empathy, such as saying, 'Oh, I see you'd love this. how cool Let's see when we can do it.

3. Do not respond quickly, take a breath, think and then respond

A short pause helps us think about what is being asked. In addition, we are sending the little one the idea that we are meditating on the proposal. Ask yourself if you need to say no, or if you can say yes. And if it is not a resounding yes or no, ask yourself if you can negotiate it.

Many times we say no out of habit and we could say yeswithout being a problem for anyone. Other times we have the option of negotiating with our children and reaching a solution that works for both of us.

Anyway, if you are firm in your decision and you help to understand the reason for this decision, it helps your child learn how to ask for things and that sometimes things are achieved and sometimes not.

When it's better to say no

Saying no can be difficult; after all everyone we want to see our children happy and it seems that if you give them what they want when they ask for it, it makes them happy at that moment. But we can't always give them what they ask for and giving it always doesn't give them happiness, it's a wrong idea. I leave you some ways to say no without complicating your life:

• Give your reason first. If you have decided to say no, you should first explain why. This helps them understand the decision. If he feels disappointed even though you have explained why, it is very likely that he has not fully understood it. An example of an explanation would be, 'We don't have time to take a ride on the merry-go-round right now. If not, we won't get to the grandparents' house. We'll do it next time.'
• Stay with what you have decided. If you change your mind, your child will learn that it is not a definitive yes or no and that it is worth continuing to insist. If you give in when your child is misbehaving, he'll learn that this is one way to get what he wants.
• offer him something else, Yes you can. For example, 'I can't buy this from you because it's too expensive and we can't eat out. Let's go home and make a pizza together, the one we like best'.
• Give your child constructive feedback. If your child takes no for an answer, give him plenty of praise. For example, 'I really liked how you said 'okay' when I said no'. Or 'It's been great how we worked it out together.'

Be able to taking no for an answer is an important social and emotional skill. It's part of helping kids learn how to handle disappointment.

Reduces the need to say no

One of the best ways to help your child learn to deal with being told he's not don't say it too much. When you save a no for the decisions that really matter, your child will take it more seriously.

When can we avoid the “no”?:

• Set some ground rules. For example, before you go shopping, talk to your child about why you are shopping. Let him know what you expect of him and the rules about asking for things. This can reduce the number of times you need to say no. For example, 'We'll have a drink when we get home after shopping', or 'We're going to buy the 4 things we need and just because we have just enough money for what's on the list'.
• Say yes, Yes you can. For example, 'Okay, Marta can come after school if her dad agrees'.
• Negotiate with your child instead of saying no, but only if you are also willing to negotiate and compromise. For example, 'We can't go to the park today, but we can go tomorrow'.

Children they learn to predict what their parents will say yes to, based on past experiences. It means they become more persuasive, and it also means you have to pay attention and be consistent when you say yes.

Asking for things at different ages

Young children often communicate what they want in simple ways. For example, they can make noises or point to what they want. But when you say no, many times they don't know how to control the disappointment of that answer and they show it with tantrums. This occurs because young children are still developing language and self-regulation skills. You have to calm them down and make them understand the no.

By school age, children have more language skills that they can use to negotiate and compromise when asking for things. From the age of eight they should be able to convey why they want something. They must have learned that when we say no, it's for a reason, and that doesn't have to make them feel bad.