How to help your adolescent child before a love breakup

Sad teenager

A breakup is not a tasteful dish for anyone. When we adults have to face an emotional problem due to a couple breakdown, we can feel quite depressed. But when it is a teenager who is going through this inevitable part of life, that is when Parents must learn to help their children so that this break does not mean an end but rather a beginning.

When a teenager suffers a love breakup, it seems that it is the end of the world. They live their feelings to the fullest and they can spend days in a lethargic state, not wanting to see anyone, not wanting anything, irritable at home ... it is as if the world has ended. But in adolescence, when boys and girls are still developing and their personality is not established, it is normal for them to go through these types of processes that it will help them understand what they want and expect from a relationship.

As parents, it can be difficult to see your children going through these trances and see them sad, pain or emotional anguish, it is without a doubt difficult times for everyone. But there is good news and there is advice for parents so that their children can resurface and that they pass their pain sooner and thus, they can begin again to enjoy life and leave behind that love that will become the past.

Sad teenager

Listen to everything he has to say to you

If he does not ask you, it is better that you keep your value judgments or the opinions you have towards his ex to yourself, at least until you notice him stronger emotionally. It is necessary for him to feel that he has you by his side for the good and for the bad, he will want to have your shoulder to be able to cry what he needs and to vent his emotional pain. Let me explain what happened, and If you want to give him advice, first ask for his permission to do so. Do not meddle in things where he does not want you to and keep the field of communication open so that he tells you everything he needs whenever he requires it.

Focus on your feelings

You should try to focus on their feelings before focusing on the emotions that cause your child to be like this. Try to understand how she feels before thinking or saying what is right or best for her (or what you think but perhaps she is discerning at the time). If you focus on their feelings, it will be more therapeutic for your child and he or she may feel listened to and valued.. But remember that you should not give him advice until he asks for it or if he agrees to do it when you ask for permission ... although the ideal is that you reserve it, at least at the beginning.

Sad teenager

Help your child lead a normal life

It is necessary that your child does not focus only on his breakup because he will become obsessed and may even begin to have depressive feelings. Ideally, you should organize time to spend as a family, that you participate in activities where he has fun and can spend time in good company, so that he will not be thinking all the time about his ex and he will realize that life is much more than focusing on one person.

Subtly suggesting that you stay away from your ex

You will have to be very subtle, cautious and be careful because it is very likely that your emotions are on the surface and that you will feel bad if you feel attacked. It is necessary that you gently and lovingly suggest that they stop being friends with their ex on social networks so that they do not spend the day looking at their photos or seeing what they do at all times (this will only generate bad feelings). An unhealthy obsession will only make you feel bad and even make you sick from bad feelings. In addition, social networks can provoke impulsive behaviors, can you imagine that your son / daughter saw his ex with another / a shortly after breaking up and that he could not contain his impulsive words? You can look for trouble and nobody wants that.

You can't fix it and it's not your duty either

As a mother or father, it is normal that you do not want to see your child suffer and that you try to fix what life is doing to him. But that's not good and you're not doing him any favors either. Your child needs this type of experience to be able to grow internally and that in this way he learns that life is not all rosy, but that in moments of fall it is always necessary to draw strength to resurface and get the positive out of everything.

Sad teenager


Your child needs to learn to overcome the breakup on his own, he will surely have more throughout his life and he will have to learn to face these feelings in order to be happy. But of course, This does not mean that you must be by his side to give all your emotional support ... but don't call your ex to tell him what you think or to beg them to come back ... never that!

It's not the end, it's the beginning

Your son / daughter may think that when the relationship ends it is the end of the world, but they must learn that it can be a beginning for their life. You will learn about empathy, assertiveness, about the disappointments or the ups and downs that can occur in life.

It is important that you give him time so that he can emotionally overcome the breakup, but if you see that he does not overcome, that he does not want to lead a normal life or relate, if you notice any type of disorder or emotional problem that is getting worse, you can think about the option inviting you to come to therapy. Sometimes, the pain they feel in adolescence is so deep that they do not know how to cope constructively so they need the guidance of a professional.

Has any adolescent child of yours had a love breakup? How did you get over the pain? Did he rely a lot on you and your advice?


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  1.   Noelia said

    My daughter is going through that right now and the truth is I think I did everything wrong from the beginning, I scold her because I see that she misses him and I even told her that I would no longer use any social network because I saw that all her friends tell them about her ?The worst thing is that they are in the same classroom and I was about to take her out of that school because I don't want her to see it anymore and I want her to forget it, but I don't know how to help her anymore I would never have wanted her to suffer for someone and I feel powerless and when you see these tips you are sure that I watered it ??‍♀️ from the beginning, I will try to compose everything and hopefully I will succeed, how difficult is it to be a mommy?

  2.   Vanessa said

    My son is going through a loving moment, very hard. Everything I have read is as is. I hear him speak and it seems that he wants to take his own life and I feel great anguish. He wants to leave the job for her knowing that it will be worse but then he qualifies. I know it's time but for me it's a meltdown. I don't know what else to do but I don't lose hope that he will recover soon.