A veces You hear about child abuse and you don't know why it worries you, It is something that you do not know or can explain, you only know that a feeling of chill runs down your back and that fear numbs your senses. You try to avoid the subject, to make it disappear from your life, pretending that it is something that does not exist, that they are things that do not really happen.
However, all these sensations could be indicating precisely that it is a very real problem, something that not only occurs, but also It could have happened to you and it was so hard for you that your memory has blocked the memory.
If it really happened, why don't I remember it?
It is nothing strange in people who have suffered traumatic situationsApart from developing certain types of antisocial behaviors, block those memories. It is a defense system that our body has to survive that excess stress caused by a real danger.
Abuses or rapes are undoubtedly very painful events that memory sometimes insists on hidingEither with certain memory gaps, or by eliminating them completely. At least in appearance, since, any minute detail can activate those memories and trigger a crisis of which we cannot understand where it came from. It can be a perfume, a word, a sound, any small detail and you could feel as if your head was about to explode due to an excess of information that perhaps you did not even want to know.
I remember things but, I don't know if it really is sexual abuse
La general definition of sexual abuse covers the following assumptions:
- Penetration with sexual organs or objects.
- Touching or inciting to touch taking advantage of the minor's lack of knowledge.
- Looking lewd at the minor, forcing him to witness sexual practices or to see inappropriate content such as movies, pornographic images, as well as having conversations of a sexual nature.
- And in any case any behavior that makes the minor feel uncomfortable or intimidating is abuse.
How can I be sure that I have been abused without remembering?
There are gaps in your memories, but you can remember what happened before and what happened after, inquire and put the puzzle together, you will find the answer. You can always seek testimonials from your family and friends or start regressive therapy.
If you really suffered abuse in childhood yourself, in some corner of your mind you remember it and with the help of your environment, you will recover what you lack to continue healing. An abuse leaves a mark, scars to heal, it's not something you can carry normally easily.
Do I need to remember to recover?
The answer is that no, in fact there are countless victims of sexual abuse who would rather not remember anything at all. It is true that it is harder to assimilate and accept what really happens, but once you have taken that step, the healing process begins like any other victim.
Recovery is tough, but it can be easier with the right support. It is very important that the family and the whole environment in general support the process so that it is effective. A book that can also help you is "The Courage to Heal", by Laura Davis and Ellen Bass, a benchmark for helping victims of sexual abuse.
Writing can help you sort your memories.
It's very probable that if you haven't remembered anything for years, your process begins in adulthood and this can lead to problems in an environment different from the one you had when the abuse occurred. This can cause added stress, as you may have new fears that your current balance will be broken by situations from your past. Do not worry, all changes will be for the better, the balance you achieved was not real, the one you achieve from now on, it will be..
How should you feel if you were abused as a child?
It is normal that at first you feel guilt, anger, fear and infinite sadness and helplessness.
But the only reality is that you must feel strong, because you survived, because you can tell about it, because you can help others and above all because you You deserve that happiness that only those who are broken inside are capable of enjoying. Now you are at the top of your own abyss and you can see it from above.