Grandparents are the second fathers for many children, a fundamental figure that complements the work of fathers and mothers on many occasions. For a child, having the opportunity to grow up with grandparents close by is a very valuable experience in life. But nevertheless, the figure of grandparents can become a problem if a series of limits are not established.
Under the premise of experience, love and the illusion of sharing the upbringing of children, grandparents and grandmothers can create conflicts. Especially in those cases in which they intercede, limiting the parental authority or exceeding certain issues. Because in no case should you forget that the education of children must rest with the parents and the grandparents and other relatives, should only complement that circle of love.
Can I put limits on grandparents?
You can, if you do it the right way and taking into account all the possible scenarios that may arise. Talking to your own parents is not the same as talking to your partner's parents. Words can be misinterpreted and the idea is not to create a family problem, but to seek the best for the children. Setting limits on grandparents is necessary in certain circumstances.
You set a standard for your child and grandparents let the child skip it. An action that becomes a habit, which is not something isolated such as that one afternoon the child does not want to have a snack. For example, you decide that your child should eat in a certain way and the grandparents do not agree. Then grandparents are creating conflict and confusion in the child, who ends up not knowing who to obey.
In other cases, when the children are somewhat older, the grandparents they can intervene excessively in the life of the grandchild. Which can make the child feel overly watched or controlled and feel like they are invading their privacy. For grandparents, especially those who already have an ageThat a teenager has a certain freedom is still difficult to assimilate. But it is the fathers and mothers who have the obligation and the right to define the rules and duties of their children.
How to set limits without getting offended
When dealing with the matter, it is very important to choose the right moment and words well. You don't need to overrule your grandparents in front of your child, as they will feel slighted. It is preferable to wait until you are alone and deal with that subject more calmly. Explain that this is how you have decided to deal with that issue with your child and that they should respect it.
It can also happen that grandparents are overly protective, which is still an act of love. However, it is necessary for the child to explore his limits to find the path of good and evil, and that is what his parents are for. If the grandparents intercede, explain that nothing happens, that you have already taught him what to do in question and that if it goes wrong, he falls, he makes a mistake, he can always rectify it.
Stay ahead of events
People get to know them well over time, whether they are your parents or the other party's, you will already have a clear idea of how they are going to be as grandparents. This allows you clarify certain things before the time comes, and anticipating events will allow you to set the rules in advance. Food, housework, obligations or rules are often a source of conflict between parents and grandparents.
Put a good smile on your face, find all your kindness and sit face to face with the grandparents. With clarity, affection, respect and above all, a lot of determination, you can establish limits with grandparents. At the end of the day, it is about looking for the best for children and in that, you will all agree.