Babies sometimes hit, scratch, or even bite their parents or caregivers. Its purpose is not to hurt but to express your displeasure in some way. They are very young and still cannot express in words what is happening to them.
Often This situation is overwhelming for parents who do not understand why their child hits if they have never hit him.
Why do babies hit?
As babies get older they are more aware of everything around them, but still have not learned to manage their emotions. Anger, frustration, and even joy can easily overwhelm them, and a smack is a very common option. Hitting, biting or scratching are gestures that are part of their normal development and learning process.
How far can intention exist?
Babies under 12 months they do not give anything of importance to blows or bites. Above all, when we do not locate where this type of violence can come from if you have never observed it. Actually babies at this age if they do it is because is part of his erratic movements, where there is no aggressive intentionality. As they have not reached linguistic communication, perhaps their best way of expressing themselves is by expressing themselves and communicating through other senses, such as taste, touch, moving, crying...
Babies around 12 months is when they can behave this way. If they hit us intentionally, it is surely to observe our reaction. Because depending on our response it will be vitally important how they can continue to feed this behavior.
From 12 months, some babies who hit will do so intentionally, but without intent to inflict. Equally they'll be looking for a wake up call, but given this fact, some type of correction must be implemented. Not enough importance should be taken either, since they are not yet aware, but it must be taken into account, because they start hitting harder and biting harder.
It is vitally important to teach children when they are much older than it should not be glued. Since they are babies they can learn by imitation and their behavior will begin depending on how we parents respond in stressful situations. If since they are very young we make them see that you have to hit and scream, it will be a behavior that they will imitate when they are older.
What do I have to do when my baby hits me?
Although these attitudes are part of their evolution, you should not ignore them. You have to act and try to correct them. Thus, in addition to correcting the act itself, you will also be teaching your baby to manage her emotions. However, the acquisition of skills to control emotions is slow and gradual, so there is no choice but to be patient.
There is nothing wrong with correcting their behavior and set rules and limits. In addition, although it may not seem like it, they really need it since it helps them to have more security and regulation. His limitation will be based on not creating antisocial behaviors in the long run, since he may have personal problems in the future.
Tips to correct unwanted behaviors in babies
- Keep calm it is the first and foremost. Sometimes this is tricky as they can inadvertently hurt you. A strong reaction on your part can reinforce these types of behaviors from your baby.
- Try to put yourself in their place. It is not easy not having enough language or skills to express what is happening to you.
- Put words to your emotion. You can say something like "I know you are very angry"
- Look for possible alternatives. Place your baby in a position where he can't hurt you at that moment while you tell him in a serious tone but as calmly as possible: I don't want you to hit me, you hurt me. Then she tries to divert her attention to something else.
- Disapprove of the behavior, not the baby. You should avoid saying phrases like "you're bad", "I don't love you anymore", etc.
- Forget about aggressive responses. You may think that by returning the cheek you will learn that it hurts and then you will not do it anymore. This is totally untrue. Yelling at or hitting the baby (even if it is soft) is counterproductive. Conflicts must always be solved with words. If a child is hit because he has hit, he will not understand.
- It is important that when you are challenged is stopped expressing a resounding NO, firm and decisive. You have to be serious, but not angry. The visualization of our face is essential, since they recognize from a very young age what our gestures are like. If we laugh, they laugh; if we are serious, they will be too.
- If he has hit or bit, not return the same effect, since you can take it as a game and use the same technique over and over again for fun.
- neither laugh, nor praise this type of behavior.
- Don't pat your hands or in the mouth, since what may seem like a little game, it can hurt him.
- The child should not be called "bad" in the presence of no one and especially children. Its reiteration can make other people believe that this is what it should be called and causes that label to be placed on it.
It is important that both parents and other family members or caregivers use the same techniques so that the child or baby does not hit or bite. If on the part of others they laugh at their way of acting, that can confuse them. Because while some scold him, others can laugh at his attitude and that can disconcert him.
What can be done if the child hits other children?
Children usually when they hit other children this behavior is usually fitted as a specific occasion It's part of your instincts. However, if this type of behavior becomes habitual or represses everything aggressively, it is when you have to teach him to manage his emotions.
As logic, we must indicate that their conduct is wrong, that it is wrong and that what it does is not correct. If we respond aggressively and with little affection, these words may not work, we must always try to do formal communication exists.
It is important that you also recognize that you have to apologize, but that will depend on the age. There is no need to go into sermons because they will never listen to that, they better attend to the message when it is punctual and detailed. And of course, as punishment, never hit them.