It is quite common that we imagine that young children hit, bite or push both other children and older children. This is something that worries parents a lot, because they do not know how to stop it and if their child is an aggressive child. "What can I do if my son hits?" It is a constant question in these cases. No parent wants their child to hit. Today we are going to talk about why your child hits and how to stop this behavior.
When do you have to start worrying?
If your child has between 1 and 3 years is not worrisome That sticks, it is not a reflection of what your personality will be like. It is something quite common. This behavior is related to his frustration in managing his emotions and not knowing how to express it in words. It is somewhat similar to the tantrums they have. Your goal is not to hurt but to express in some way what happens to them, even if they do it in the wrong way. Their language is very limited and they do not have the ability to express their dissatisfaction, anger, anger or frustration. As with tantrums, this behavior decreases in frequency, although we should not sit idly by waiting for them to happen. We must act the same.
Es from 3 years when their behavior is intentional and its objective if it would be to harm others. Here you have to start worrying.
What can we do to stop this behavior?
If we see our son hitting another child, the first thing we have to do is separate them. We will take you to another site so that you can see the consequences of your actions.
The second is let the child know that this is wrong and that we do not condone that conduct. Avoid labeling it like "You are bad", "if you do that no one will love you" and phrases like that. This only causes this behavior to continue believing what you say. We must tell them firmly, calmly and lovingly, that this is not right. We must adapt our dialogue to their age, so that they understand us. We can tell you something like that “If you hit other children, we have to go somewhere else so you don't hurt them. The others do not like to be beaten ”.
Then we can try to understand them. It was a reaction to something that happened. “I understand that you are angry, you also wanted to play with that toy. But you should not hit to get it, you have to wait for the child to finish playing with it. Then you can play with the toy. "
You may agree to play on that other site or that insist on going back to playing where you were. If it is the second case, we will give you another chance, reminding him that if he hits again they will have to leave again. If you do it again, it will be better to go somewhere else or go home, but not as a punishment. Explain that you have to go like when it's late or it's raining. If he gets sad, you can hug him to calm him down. If he gets to play again with the child in a peaceful way, congratulate him. Tell him how well he is solving things without solving them by hitting.
You are a model for your son
Remember that you are your child's role model. If he sees aggressiveness in your response even if you tell him that it cannot be hit, he will stay with that message. We must be firm but tenderly, so as not to contradict ourselves with our words and actions. No hitting or punishing them, or they will understand the opposite message.
If it is the opposite, and it is your child who is beaten, you can comfort your child and explain what happened downplaying it. "The boy wanted your toy and that's why he got nervous."
For remember ... hitting is a common behavior, especially in young children, but we should not look the other way. It is our responsibility to give them the tools so that they can manage their emotions appropriately.