Nobody likes to be yelled at, and children, in addition to not liking them, negatively affect their development. Losses of patience, stress, mistakes in education, and patterns inherited from our childhood can lead us to yell at children. Today we are going to tell you how screaming affect children so that we are more aware when doing it.
Shouting is not educating
Surely you have heard more than once some parents say "it's just that you understand me by shouting." The screams all they do is get attention the first time but there is nothing educational or good about it. Your children will not respect you more because you yell, but on the contrary, they will be afraid of you. It also has completely negative effects and does not have any educational effectiveness.
Children will learn is that a way of relating and communicating, from screaming. They will see it as something normal and a way to get what they want. They see you doing it, how can they not learn it? Remember that you are their maximum example, and what you do your children will copy. That is why it is important that we adapt healthier, more effective and healthier education and communication habits for both ourselves and our children.
It is one thing for you to do it in a timely manner after losing patience and another for you to use it as a resource to change a behavior. Trust me, there are much more effective and positive techniques for your children.
How does screaming affect children?
- They affect like physical punishment. Screaming has the same effect on the mind as physical punishment. By not leaving bruises on your body does not mean that they do not hurt you. Increase your level of stress and anxietyas well as being more likely to have behavior problems or even depression. We have assimilated that it is bad to hit children, but we do not have it so much with yelling. We have them more standardized, as a resource to get your children to pay attention to you.
- Yelling makes children stop listening. Maybe the first time it was useful to you why you caught their attention, but at the second scream they stop hearing the words and only hear the screams.
- It teaches them how NOT to manage emotions. If we yell when we are angry, angry or stressed, we are teaching children that the best way to handle it is by yelling. Remember that you are the mirror where your children look at themselves, your example is more valuable than any lesson.
- The screams leave a mark. They will not leave visible scars but if they are used regularly we will be leaving a trace of pain in its development and they will become insecure, defenseless, scared, powerless and passive people. That is, it affects the development of their self-esteem that will be formed especially in our first years of life.
- Keep our children away. It is impossible to be emotionally close to someone who screams at you all day. Your children will be educated from fear and not from love. Will not trust you, you will lose respect and there will be a distance between you emotionally.
Educate from love and not from fear
As we saw before, there are ways that are much more educational and beneficial for both children and parents. Screaming all day is not good for anyone either.
The first thing we will have to learn is to manage our own emotions so we can teach children to do it too. This way we will stop being puppets reacting to our emotions, instead of being the ones who manage them. Knowing how to breathe, leaving the room if necessary, relativizing and knowing that they are children allows us to be more patient, understanding and less impulsive.
Because remember ... your son does not do things to drive you crazy, they are just children.