Lack of impulse control is the root of many behavior problems. Without proper intervention, impulsive behaviors tend to get worse over time. For example, impulsive 6-year-olds may strike out when they don't get their way, while a teenager may share inappropriate content online without thinking about the consequences. For this reason, helping children to control their impulses is a priority task for parents.
The good news is that they can learn new skills to improve their impulse control as they get older. And the more self-control they gain, the less likely they are to do or say something that could harm others, or themselves. What's more, these skills will be very useful to you throughout your life.
Ways to help children control their impulses
Let's see some strategies to help children to control your impulses.
Teach your child to label their feelings
Children who do not understand their emotions are more likely to be impulsive. A child who cannot say that he is angry, expresses that emotion aggressively. Or a child who cannot verbalize that he is sad, his reaction will be to throw himself on the ground to cry and scream. Therefore, the goal is to teach him to recognize his feelings so that he can express them verbally rather than with disproportionate actions.
Talk to your children about basic emotions like anger, sadness or fear. Show them the differences between one or the other. You can use books or movies to help them understand. The most important thing is that they know that it is okay to be angry, but not to hit things or people. And that feeling sad or being afraid are equally normal emotions. When they are able to name their emotions, they will be less likely to get carried away by their impulses.
Ask the children to repeat the instructions to help them control their impulses.
Children often behave impulsively because they do not listen to what is asked of them. They will probably get down to business before you're done asking them for what you want, without even knowing what it is you want them to do. Make them repeat what you have told them, it is a way to make sure that you have been paid attention. Once they are able to repeat what you told them, they can get down to work.
It is clear that if they cannot repeat what you have asked of them, it is highly unlikely that they will be able to carry it out. They will do something else. Therefore, by making sure that they have listened to you, you will get them to stop for a moment to pay attention. Stopping and listening is important in controlling your impulses.
Teach them to solve problems
Encourage problem solving skills is one of the most effective techniques for impulse control. Teaching children that a problem can be solved in different ways shows them how important it is to evaluate the different possibilities before acting. So pose your children a problem, and encourage them to think of at least five possible ways to solve it. After identifying solutions, help them think of the most effective solution, and put it into action.
With practice, they will get used to thinking before acting and this will curb their impulsiveness. By starting this strategy as a game, they will get into the habit of thinking about situations before facing them. This skill will undoubtedly prove to be tremendously useful for your future, both academically and professionally.
Teach kids anger management skills
Low tolerance for frustration can lead to outbursts of impulsivity. Teaching them strategies to channel this frustration can help them deal with their emotions in a healthier way. Simple techniques like deep breathing or walking around the house can help you burn off energy and relax. The meditation and physical exercise are also good tools for children with anger management problems.
You can also ask them what things or activities make them feel calm, and from their answers create a “calm kit”. This is a kind of medicine cabinet to go to when you feel like you can't control your anger. The goal is for them to relax with the contents of that emergency kit, but the ideal is to teach them to relax before getting into trouble for his lack of self-control.
The most important thing is communication and understanding
It is normal for young children to be physically impulsive, it's part of their nature. Hitting things, jumping on the bed, or running and yelling around the grocery store are common impulse control problems. In adolescence, most children have already managed to control their impulses, but they can still be verbally impulsive. This will bring them more than one problem in their studies or jobs.
With constant practice and discipline, impulse control should improve over time. However, if your children seem to have more difficulties than other children their age, it is best to talk to their pediatrician. Conditions like ADHD They can interfere with your children's ability to control impulsive behavior. Therefore, it is important to have a specialist assess whether your child is struggling to develop self-control.