Children have the difficulty of sharing almost by nature, especially if the children are younger. In fact, it is a normal part of their development and they need, above all, guidance from adults to achieve communication and conflict resolution skills to be able to improve in the habit of sharing. Knowing and accepting this is the first step in helping your child to be a generous person.
Although right now it seems that your child has a possessive and dominant mind, the reality within him can be very different. But it's worth remembering that sharing is okay, but you don't have to share everything with everyone. Children must also decide what they do not want to share with others, or do adults share everything with everyone?
Selfishness comes before generosity
All children want to own and have things for themselves. During the second and third years, as the child begins to become more self-aware and establish a more separate identity from the mother, more things like: 'mine' begin to be heard. In fact, the word 'mine' is one of the first words you'll hear come out of your little one's mouth.
The growing child develops attachments to things as well as people. This ability to form strong attachments is important to being an emotionally healthy person. One-year-olds have difficulty sharing their mother, at two they have difficulty sharing the teddy bear ...
Some children become so attached to a toy that even if it is an old and worn-out doll it seems that it is an integral part of the child's self. This can create insecurity when you tell a child to share that precious toy with other children. Therefore, there are toys that it is better not to share, because it is simply not necessary to do so, such as attachment dolls.
Never force to share
Instead of forcing a child to share when they don't want to, ideally create attitudes and an environment that encourages your child to want to share with others. There is power in possession even if for you they are just toys. For a child, they are a valuable collection that has taken years to put together. Respect the normal possessiveness of children while encouraging and learning from your role model.
Next, you will have to observe how your child interacts in a group play environment (you will learn what he will need just by looking at him). Your child will learn that others want to play with him or if he is always the victim or if he has to learn to say 'no'. When children are of preschool age, they should know that sharing is good for social progress within the educational center.
Connect with your child
A child learns from example and how his parents relate to him. Children who receive parental attachment for the first two years are more likely to share. Children who have been on the receiving end of generosity follow the model they have been given and become generous people. Also, a child who feels good is more likely to share. A child with a good example in his parents will have a more confident personality, since less things are needed to validate good self-esteem.
Therefore, to be a good example you will also have to lend your things and let your child see how you do it. You should also share with your children so that they also learn to share as a family.
Share through games
Playing share is also a good option. You can create games where, for example, blocks or toys are used that must be shared to make the game more fun. It can be with parents or with siblings. What matters is to convey the message that sharing in normal life is positive and brings joy to both those who share and those who receive.
When to step in to get your child to share
Remember that intervening does not mean compelling at all. Don't expect your toddler to always share, but you can use every opportunity to try. Teach your child how to communicate his needs to his peers. For example, you can tell him that if another child is playing at school with a toy and he wants it too, he can ask when it will end, reach out and wait, talk to the teacher to tell him that he also wants to play with that toy so that he can have his turn, etc.
When a toy fight starts, it is sometimes wise not to rush into interfering. Give children time and space to try to solve the problem on their own. You can stand by and watch what happens carefully. If the dynamics are on the right track, you don't need to intervene and just be a good spectator. If, on the other hand, the situation is getting worse, then you should intervene so that they learn through your guide what is the best solution for the specific situation.
Protect your child's interests even if you are teaching them to share
If your child clings to his possessions, you should also respect that attachment while at the same time teaching him to be generous. With good teaching, little by little he can be, but you must be patient and not force him to do things he does not want. It is normal for a child to be selfish with some toys and generous with others. Put away the toy you like the most, you don't have to share it, and if another child takes it, it will have to be retrieved.
Before play begins, help your child choose which toys he will share with his playmates and which he wants to keep or reserve for himself. This way he will feel respected and he will also know that you understand that there are toys that he does not want to share while he learns to do it with others.