For some time now, it seems that attachment has become fashionable. There is a lot of talk about attachment parenting, but sometimes we don't know exactly what it means.
Because in parenting, attachment is always present . Attachment is a primary biological need.
As social beings, we come into the world with an innate need to form an emotional bond with the person who cares for us . This emotional bond guarantees the individual's survival.
Attachment theory
Attachment theory highlights the need for human beings to establish affective bonds over time, through daily interaction with significant people who are the ones who become attachment figures.
It was formulated by Bowlby. A physician and psychoanalyst by training, and a disciple of Freud, he was interested in the relationship between the deprivation or loss of the maternal figure in childhood and the consequences for personality development. He dedicated himself to the investigation of mother-child relationships, first in the animal world, and later, in human mothers and infants. According to Bowlby, the experience of a warm, intimate, and continuous relationship between the infant and young child and the mother or a substitute caregiver is essential for mental health.
Attachment is important because in addition to ensuring survival, it provides security. Secure attachment enables the baby or child to explore the world around him.
The quality of the bond between mother and baby is crucial in the formation of internal working models . That is, the child's mental representation of the world and of themselves depends on how they have been cared for. If their needs are heard and met effectively, they will perceive themselves as valued and the world as a pleasant place. Conversely, if their emotional needs are not adequately met, they will internalize that they are undeserving of attention, and the world will be seen as a threatening and dangerous place.
This representation of the world and of oneself will last throughout life and will affect all relationships of the person. The bonds developed in childhood will be the model for the bonds that develop in adult life.
The affective bond is built over time through the interaction between the mother or surrogate figure and the baby or young child.
Mary Ainsworth, another leading figure in attachment theory, emphasized that the most important factor in interaction with the baby is the mother's responsiveness . This responsiveness is the ability to perceive the baby's signals and not ignore them, to interpret them appropriately by connecting with them, empathizing with the baby, and finally, to meet those signals as quickly as possible.
The sensitive response is at the base of the formation of the secure bond, the one that interests us because we are healthy.
Basic types of attachment
There are different types of links. M. Ainsworth studied attachment behaviors between primary caregiver and baby. He developed the “strange situation”, a laboratory practice to evaluate the behavior of the young child when separated from the mother. This practice takes place in a strange room for the baby and can be applied from 12 months.
Depending on the behavior of the baby before the separation and the subsequent reunion, we have that there are secure bonds and insecure bonds.
A secure attachment is present when the baby shows discomfort, fussiness, crying, and anxiety upon separation from the mother. When the mother leaves, the baby interrupts exploration and play to look for her. When the mother returns, the baby seeks her closeness and comfort, and exploration and play resume shortly thereafter.
When the baby reacts in other ways, we find ourselves in an insecure bond. In turn, the insecure bond is divided into three others: avoidant, ambivalent and disorganized.
A baby with an insecure-avoidant attachment style will not show any outward emotional reaction nor will they follow their mother when she leaves the room. They will continue playing without showing any signs of distress. Upon reuniting, there will be no joy, and the baby will not seek the mother's proximity. These children with insecure-avoidant attachment develop indifference toward separation and contact as a defense mechanism. They are labeled as "independent" at an age when they should not be. The mothers of these babies often reject physical contact with their children. These children suffer serious emotional deficiencies, even if they are not immediately apparent.
Babies with an ambivalent insecure attachment will experience extreme distress and anxiety when their mother leaves the room. They will become inhibited after her departure, neither exploring nor playing. When the mother re-enters and they reunite, the baby will exhibit aggressive behavior, alternating between seeking and resisting physical and emotional contact. The baby acts this way because the mother's responses to their needs are inconsistent; her reactions are based on her own moods, without considering the baby's emotional state.
Finally, there is disorganized attachment , which is a pathological condition. It occurs in babies and children subjected to family neglect, mistreatment, sexual abuse, etc. The attachment figure is simultaneously a source of fear and a need for security and love.
In conclusion, attachment is essential for survival. We all need to develop emotional bonds with those close to us in order to live.