What? Seriously? If this is true, I'd "drop dead"! (I wasn't serious about the "drop dead" part... I just heard it on a TV show 😉). Sometimes I think we parents have lost our way, actually, we've lost all sense of direction, regarding how we raise and/or guide children and teenagers on this exciting journey of 'reaching adulthood'. Note that I wrote 'sometimes'. because I also find many sensible parents Despite their mistakes, they not only do their best, but they also improve a little bit every day.
And yes: I better get down to business, because the thread is running out. This is about moms or dads who allow their offspring to try alcohol. (still little ones, not teenagers) – usually beer or wine – at celebrations or other events. And I thought this practice had been banished from families! One can't help but wonder, what good is all the information we have about EVERYTHING? Are there still people who don't know that Drinking alcohol is a risk to developing organisms(And drinking it regularly or in excess is dangerous for anyone).
When we were little it was more common for a child with a very cold to be given milk with some liquor, that they were allowed to drink coffee before the age of 10, than at the insistence of the little one, the mother would end up allowing him to take a couple of puffs on a cigarette during a family meal ... Example is everything, and when we normalize our relationship with toxic substances, we send a message of acceptance towards them.. But if we are also the ones who started, uf! (“I just bought you your first pack of cigarettes so you won't buy it there”, this would be funny if you didn't want to cry).
Tasting: a risky and unnecessary practice
It turns out that, given the lack of common sense that sometimes characterizes us, the AAP journal "Pediatrics" published a paper called "Parents Who Supply Sips of Alcohol in Early Adolescence: A Prospective Study of Risk Factors". One of the questions that the researchers initially asked was whether Given the high rates of alcohol consumption in early adolescence, there were differences between those who had previously consumed alcohol within the family setting., and those that don't.
Professor of psychiatry John E. Donovan is convinced that parents should not provide alcohol to their children, because "tasting" alcohol, as this initiation practice is popularly called, They could be related to starting alcohol consumption at very young agesApparently, some parents believe that a child between 10 and 12/13 years old may be ready to have a drink with their parent. As expected, the first time they drink beer or wine, they are not able to finish the amount poured for them; but one of the studies reviewed by Pediatrics in this prospective research of other works, It links having tried alcohol before sixth grade (6th grade of Primary School in Spain) with getting drunk or consuming alcohol at age 14..
Other longitudinal studies with thousands of adolescents have shown results along the same lines: Children who receive alcohol from their parents or drink under supervision do not develop a more responsible relationship with alcohol. with drinking, but they tend to drink more and more frequently as they get older, and experience more alcohol-related problems in early adulthood. The idea that having “a sip at home” protects against excessive drinking outside is misleading. It is not supported by scientific evidence.
It has even been observed that, regardless of the age at which that first supervised consumption is permitted, the negative effect is uniformThere is no "safe" age within adolescence for parents to authorize alcohol consumption. That's why many public health experts insist that The best prevention strategy is to delay first contact with alcohol as much as possible. and completely avoid these normalizing taste tests.
Drinking alcohol early, is it that dangerous?
Yes, indeed: we are talking about people who are going through a period of change at all levels. Alcohol can damage the developing brainIt can cause acute alcohol intoxication or traffic accidents; it is also associated with risky sexual behavior and affects hormones, causing imbalances. Sometimes it causes violent or self-harming behavior. It is linked to poor academic performance and other emotional and social problems.
Current neuroscience indicates that The human brain continues to mature beyond adolescenceIn fact, some neurobiology studies place the end of brain maturation around the 21 years in the MakingThe journey is certainly long, and this indicates that before full brain maturity there are many opportunities to act without thinking, to be impulsive, to be swayed by the group, etc., not as negative aspects in themselves, but as part of human development. Precisely for this reason there is a the need for mothers and fathers to be a little more attentive to make this journey as healthy as possible.
International pediatric organizations also point out that Starting to drink at a very young age significantly increases the risk of developing an alcohol use disorder later on. Those who start before mid-adolescence are several times more likely to suffer from addiction or dependence compared to those who start after reaching the legal drinking age.
In addition to this, there are other less visible short-term effects: difficulty concentrating, sudden mood swings, family conflicts, discipline problems at school, isolation from healthy or sporting activities, etc. It's not just about "a drink at a party"but rather how the child's relationship with alcohol is shaped and what role drinking plays in how they cope with stress, social pressure, or having fun.
The family model
Parents, as an example that we are, should gather consistency, and this is not always the case. It is common sense that if you abuse medications, illegal drugs, tobacco or alcohol, you are likely to be imitatedRegarding consumption (by adults) at family celebrations, if it is sporadic, it doesn't necessarily have any further consequences, because in family education there is also an implicit message that childhood and adulthood are different, and we cannot always do the same things.
For example, I no longer think of climbing trees like I used to, but I can still jump; and my children, although they long to grow up (like all little ones), know very well their limits. They can't (and don't know how to) drive, they can't go shopping alone, or replace their clothes when they wear them out, they can walk 10 kilometers, but not 100, etc. Some activities are reserved for adults for developmental and safety reasons.and alcohol consumption is one of them.
What I mean by this is that seeing Mom having a beer at a given moment is very different from if it were a regular practice, especially if you talk about it as a family and express your opinions. Communication and verbalization are extremely important.In this communication we can also expect children to ask questions and be curious, and it is preferable that this curiosity be channeled into clear information, without mysteries or idealizations, but without offering the drink.
It doesn't seem like a very good idea to help them "skip stages": when you stop being a child, you're not going to be one again, and you're going to get fed up with being an adult with all those years ahead of you; besides, They are really not prepared for some responsibilities and the consequences can be very negative.In addition to the direct example, it is worth examining other everyday messages: joking about "this will be fixed with a drink", using alcohol as the main way to relax, or always having the refrigerator full of alcoholic beverages in plain sight. constructs an idea of normality and necessity that children internalize. Studies show that children from families where alcohol consumption is frequent, even if not problematic, They tend to start consuming earlier. already perceive less risk.
Why shouldn't we be the ones to give them the cup?
And I remember again that It is completely inappropriate for us to be the ones to give them the cup.Because even though the argument "it's only for adults" is very overused, it's exactly the one we should believe. Do you give the car keys to a 10-year-old? Do you give adult medication to an 8-year-old? Do you let an 11-year-old go out at night? There are things that are for adults, because adults (or at least those who have reached a certain level of maturity) should know how to handle unexpected situations, make sound decisions, and so on.
Some parents think that if they allow their child to drink a little at home, They are "vaccinating" him against dangerous consumption outside the home. However, comparative studies in different countries show that this strategy is associated with higher likelihood of drunkenness, excessive consumption, and academic and social problemsFar from protecting, it conveys the idea that alcohol is a normal and inevitable part of social life and that it is enough to "control oneself," something that a developing minor cannot always do.
Research also indicates that many children and teenagers consume alcohol at home without explicit permission. If the prior message has been "a little won't hurt" or if they have ever been offered a sip, The psychological barrier to self-service drops significantly.Hence the importance of maintaining a consistent stance: explain, support, but do not provide.
How to talk to your children about alcohol and detect warning signs
Pediatric and health organizations recommend start talking to children about alcohol from late childhoodin age-appropriate language. The aim is not to scare them, but to help them understand that it is a substance that children cannot take, and that even adults have risks if it is abused.
As they approach adolescence, it makes sense to talk to them about the effects that alcohol misuse can have: legal problems, risks of accidents, unprotected sex, difficulties in studiesbrain damage, etc. It is important that they perceive that these consequences are not an empty threat, but realities that can affect them.
Even with parental guidance and supervision, teenagers may try alcohol before the legal drinking age. It's helpful to know some of the dangers. signs that a minor may be drinkingSigns of alcohol use include: smelling of alcohol upon arriving home, using chewing gum or strong cologne to mask it, being evasive or refusing to talk to adults after going out, or alcohol disappearing from the house without a clear explanation. If the problem worsens, it can lead to sudden mood swings, a drop in school performance, social withdrawal, changes in friendships, and a very secretive nature about their activities.
In light of these signs, various experts recommend speak calmly, without shouting or humiliationand seek support from a pediatrician or mental health professional if the concern persists. They also remind us that children are better able to resist peer pressure to drink when they have They have good self-esteem, feel heard at home, and see their parents as consistent role models.Helping them identify their strengths, listening more than lecturing, and maintaining clear rules about consumption are very powerful tools.
Ultimately, the key isn't in a little taste or a little bit at a wedding, but in the overall message we convey: that alcohol is not part of childhoodwhich is not necessary to have fun or to fit in, and that adults are there to accompany, explain and protect, even if sometimes that makes us "the annoying ones" in the movie.