While difficult times can occur during any stage of adolescent development, in general, the most difficult moment usually happens at the end Of the same. The end of adolescence occurs roughly between the ages of 18 and 23, when the work of managing responsible, overwhelming independence typically begins.
Freedom during most of adolescence was seen as attractive and exciting. However, freedom on the threshold of adulthood can be seen as frightening and daunting. The central challenge of this stage is to separate from home and start a more independent life. This stage has a lot to do with assuming responsibilities of adult life.
the end of adolescence
The last stage of adolescence is probably the most demanding and daunting of all. Most young people are not prepared to meet all the necessary expectations to achieve complete independence. This is why this last stage feels like a bit of a test, because there is usually still some support from the parents. It is also a trial in the sense of having to endure mistakes and failures as a beginning adult, and learn from them until you have independent control of your life.
In these moments, it is very easy to feel rootless, helpless, useless, aimless, worthless, and even hopeless. Quite the opposite of the previous stages of adolescence, where boys and girls feel connected to their friends and colleagues, competent, useful, valued and hopeful. In most cases, young people just feel stuck. This feeling is because they are growing up and learning valuable life lessons. They are building resilience from recovery, showing mental toughness by continuing to try, and gaining more knowledge and life experiences. In short, despite the discouragement, they are progressing and growing as people.
Developmental Discomfort
If 18-23 year olds still feel comfortable during this life stage, it may be because they can still rely on old family supports and are not fully committed to growing up. Young people need to assert, establish, and self-manage their functional independence, which can cause some discomfort. Although they have a hard time during these years, it is something positive that will help them forge as adults.
In this age, young people fight against themselves and against the idea of taking full responsibility for their lives because they don't feel ready for it. At the beginning of adolescence, boys and girls rebel against their parents and authority figures, but in this final stage that rebellion is against themselves. Now, procrastination, the temptation to socialize, escape from electronic entertainment, and substance use can interfere with active participation in this process. The antidote to these bad guys is self-discipline, on which these three virtues depend: completion, commitment and perseverance.
To force themselves to take on their greatest responsibilities, they must be able to:
- Finish what they start.
- Fulfill commitments, with themselves and with others.
- Maintain consistency of effort to meet the constant demands of life.
Change specification
A major life change is actually a mixture of four changes in one. The first two are discontinuous:
- Start. The experience of starting new and different things.
- Having. The experience of stopping the old and the established, like relying on parents to set rules for daily life.
The following two are continuous:
- Increase. The experience of increasing some degree or amount of life activity. For example, having to take more responsibility for self-discipline, without falling into addiction.
- Decrease. The experience of diminishing some degree or amount of life activity. For example, having to get by with less supervision and no material help.
It's normal and it's okay to go through times of stress in late adolescence. What's not okay is letting go of being overwhelmed and deciding that delaying, avoiding, running away, or giving up is the best thing to do to feel good. Giving up that burden is refusing to grow.
Keep in mind that the last stage of adolescence is the bravest stage. It is time to confront low self-confidence and deal with the uncertainty of the future. Of course, life from now on will not be easier, but by committing to the demands of greater independence, you will be stronger and more self-confident when you face any major challenge ahead.