Kusengqiqweni ukuba ukhathazeke kwaye ukhathazeke xa ufumanisa ukuba intombi yakho iyazenzakalisa, into yokuqala esizibuza yona kutheni? Impendulo emfutshane kukuba yena Awulawuli ekuphuhliseni iindlela ezifanelekileyo zokuloba ubunzima. Le yimpendulo emfutshane, kodwa ayisiyiyo elula.
Sichaza apha ngezantsi ukuba kutheni intombi yakho ingazenzakalisa, isiphumo esasulelayo sikhona kulutsha (ngakumbi) nakwabanye izindululo xa kusonjululwa umba. Eyokuqala kukudibana nengcali.
Kutheni intombi yam izenzakalisa?
Sonke sihamba phantsi kweemeko zobomi ezingaphaya kwamandla ethu okuhlangabezana nazo. Ngokubanzi, sihlala siphuhlisa izicwangciso ezitsha, ezifundwayo kunye nezokuvavanywa kwezinye iimeko ezikhokelela ekubeni soyise le meko. Kodwa oku akusoloko kunjalo, kukho abantu abangaphumeleliyo kwaye, baphethukela kwezinye iindlela eziphantsi ngokweemvakalelo ezisempilweni. Enye yazo inokuba kukuzenzakalisa.
Gcina ukhumbula ukuba ukuba intombi yakho iyazenzakalisa uhamba kwimeko enzima kakhulu, ukufumanisa kunzima ukujongana. Abantwana, abantu abadala kunye nabakwishumi elivisayo ngokufanayo bathanda ukwenzakalisa bucala, njengembonakalo yeentlungu ezinzulu ezingaziwayo ukuba bazidlulisela njani ngenye indlela.
Kulo Ukuzilimaza komntwana kwenzeka ngendlela efanayo phakathi kwamakhwenkwe namantombazana, kodwa kamva kwinqanaba lokufikisa, kukho imeko ephezulu phakathi kwabafazi. Eminye imiba onokuyijonga kukuba banengxaki yokulala, baphulukana nokutya kwabo, ialopecia, onychophagia, yile yokuba baluma iinzipho zabo.
Yintoni ethathwa njengokulimala?
Ukuqhubeka nohlalutyo lokuba kutheni intombi yakho izenzakalisa, siya kuzama ukufumanisa ukuba zeziphi iintlobo zokulimala eziqhele ukwenzeka. Umzekelo, ukuluma, ukusika, ukubetha nzima, ukumakisha ulusu Ngokucinezela ngezinto. Ukuba uhlala ujonga le nto kwintombi yakho, lixesha lokuba uzibeke ezandleni zomntu oqeqeshiweyo, oya kuthi ngokuqinisekileyo ahambe naye.
Phantse onke amantombazana akwishumi elivisayo azenzakalisayo, bazisika umzekelo, abanazo izakhono zeemvakalelo zokuchonga iimvakalelo zabo, kunye nokulawula imvakalelo. Ukuzenzakalisa ayizame suicidio, njengakwiimeko ezininzi kukholelwa oko. Kwaba bantu, imvakalelo yokuziva unetyala ngokungakwazi ukunceda kunye nokuthatha uxanduva zihlala ziphawulwe kakhulu. Yindlela yokuzohlwaya xa usilele.
Kukho ulutsha oluthile, amakhwenkwe namantombazana, abanokuzenzakalisa ukuze bafumane ingqalelo okanye kuba bafuna ukulunga kwiqela apho oku kuyinto eqhelekileyo. Yile nto ngamanye amaxesha ibizwa ngokuba sisiphumo sosulelo. Ukukhululeka ngazo zonke iintlobo zolwazi malunga nokuzenzakalisa kunokufumaneka kwi-Intanethi kubangele ukuba amanani anyuke phakathi kwabona bantu basemngciphekweni.
Ungamnceda njani umntu ozenzakalisayo?
Njengoko besesitshilo ngaphambili, cela a ukuqeshwa nengcali elungileyo ejongana nemeko yomntu, ukuba ufuna ukunceda intombi yakho. Kodwa sikwacebisa ukuba uthathe isimo esifudumeleyo, ukuqonda kunye nothando kuye. Okwangoku uyakudinga.
Khumbula ukuba Ukukwazi ukuqonda, ukuveza kunye nokulawula iimvakalelo ifundwe kweyona ndawo ikufutshane, kubudlelwane obunokubakho abanoonyana kunye neentombi nabazali babo. Ujongene nale meko, uya kuthi ngokwakho uzibuze kwaye uhlalutye abo kutheni? Mhlawumbi lixesha lokuba uvume ngokuthobekileyo ukuba ungumama ongenaphutha njengathi sonke, zamkele iimpazamo zakho.
Thembeka ngokupheleleyo kwaye ubonakale ekuhleni nabo bakuncedayo, kwaye iyahambelana kude kube sekupheleni kunyango lwengqondo. Utshintsho luya kubaluleka, kwaye lunokwenza ukholelwe ukuba yonke into yoyisiwe, kodwa gcina uncedo lwakho kunye nolwentombi yakho, de ingcali iyikhuphe. Ngaphandle koko inokuphinda ibuye. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba intombi yakho ifumane inkxaso kusapho, ukusuka ekuqondeni, ngaphandle kokubuza okanye ukugweba.