Kutheni umntwana wam engafuni ukuboleka iithoyi zakhe?

Unyana wethu usicela ukuba simse kwindawo yokudlala kunye nomhlobo olunge kakhulu kwisikolo sabantwana abancinci. Siyavumelana nesicelo sakho, kodwa kufuneka silinde iintsuku ezininzi kuba ingayeki ukuna. Emva kokuqokelela ixhala kunye nemibono, umzuzu ekudala ulindelwe ekugqibeleni ufika. Umama womhlobo wakhe unikezele ngovuyo ukuba azimanye nathi.

Abantwana badlala ngokuzolileyo esantini kunye neebhakethi zabo, iirafu kunye nemihlakulo. Ngesiquphe, kutsalwa ibhakethi eliluhlaza. Kwaye akukho namnye ozimisele ukuyeka. Sifumanisa ukuba unyana wethu ungumnini wale nto yokudlala kwaye simcela ukuba ayiboleke umhlobo wakhe. Uyala ngokugxininisayo kwaye sityhafile kwaye asazi ukuba senzeni. Kwimizuzu embalwa kamva i-emele eblue izakushiyeka esantini kwaye ungquzulwano luya kulandela ngaphezulu komhlakulo obomvu. Siqala ukuzibuza: ingaba umntwana wethu uyazingca ngokwemvelo? Ngaba senza iimpazamo njengabazali, senza iimpazamo kwimfundo yabo?

Ukuziqinisekisa
Okokuqala, kufuneka sikhumbule ukuba phakathi konyaka wesibini nowesithathu wobomi, ukuzalwa komntwana kuzelwe. Ukuba abantwana abakwazi ukwahlula ngokucacileyo phakathi kwabo kunye nehlabathi liphela, kancinci kancinci, baya kuwuseka loo mahluko. Kuqala baya kuba nako ukuzibona esipilini okanye kwifoto; emva koko baya kuphonononga umzimba wabo kwaye bahlule kwizinto zangaphandle; Emva kwexesha baya kufunda ukwahlula abantu kwaye baqonde amagama abo.

Malunga neminyaka emibini, umntwana uqala inkqubo yokuziqinisekisa. Elinye lamagama athi iinkwenkwezi ngemihla yakhe ngu "Ndi". Nangona engasoloko eyibiza, uhlala ethambise umda phakathi komntu wakhe kunye nabanye ngezenzo zakhe zemihla ngemihla. Udlala ikakhulu eyedwa kwaye, xa kukho abanye abantwana, udlala kunye nabo, kodwa kunqabile ukuba "nabo".

Kwelinye icala, ngokuchasene nayo, iyaqinisekisa ubungqina bayo. Ukuba wayeqhutywa yilento ayixelelwa ngabantu abadala, ngekhe azi ukuba uneminqweno okanye iinjongo zakhe. Eyona ndlela icacileyo yokuziva unentando yakho kwaye wahlukile kwabanye abantu kukuthi "hayi." Izimbo zomzimba zokwala zikhatshwa ziinkani kunye nemvukelo, ekwaluphawu lwale minyaka: akafuni kutya, ukulwa nabanye abantwana okanye ukwaphula iithoyi.

Ukuzingca phambi kokuzingca
Le nkqubo yokuqinisekisa ubuni babo ihamba kunye neseti yamava abakhe baphila kwaye baqhubeka nokuphila, enza ukuba umntwana azive njengeziko lendalo iphela. Kwasekuzalweni kwakhe wazanelisa zonke iimfuno zakhe; Abazali bakhe bamkhathalele kwezona nkcukacha zincinci kwaye bamnikile lonke uthando lwabo, uthando kunye nokuqonda. Imvakalelo yokuzahlula, engenakuphindwa kwaye yahlukile kwabanye, kunye "nokuqheleka" apho umntwana afumana khona ingqalelo nothando lwabazali bakhe, ikhuthaza ukuzithemba okukhulayo. Olu phawu kufuneka luthathwe njengenqanaba eliqhelekileyo lokukhula kobuntu bakho kwaye hayi njengodidi olubi.

Ukukhula kwakhe ngokwasengqondweni kunye namava anjengokuzalwa komninawa omncinci okanye ukuhlala nabanye abantwana kwisikolo sabantwana, kumenza aqonde, kancinci kancinci, ukuba akayedwa emhlabeni kwaye kukho "nabanye" nabo ukhathalelwe kwaye utofelwe njengaye. Ukuphendula kwabo kolu hlolo kuhlala kungalunganga, kubenza bacinge ngeziqu zabo.

Ingqondo yobunini
Umntwana wazi kakuhle ukuba yeyiphi into yakhe, kodwa ufuna ukwenza eyakhe ibe yeyabanye. Yiyo loo nto, engavumi ukuboleka nje izinto zakhe, kodwa ukwahlutha nezinto zabanye abantwana okanye abantu abadala abamngqongileyo ngaphandle kokulinda naluphi na uhlobo lwemvume.

Kwelinye icala, akakakwazi "ukuzibeka endaweni yomnye" okanye ukwamkela ukuba kukho ezinye izimvo okanye iingcinga ezingezizo ezakhe. Kungenxa yoko le nto ethabatheka, umzekelo, xa umakhulu wakhe engafuni ukumboleka umsesane oyinkumbulo yosapho. Uyabhengeza ukuba akasamthandi kwaye ushiya ngomsindo ngaphandle kokuphulaphula iinkcazo zothandekayo wakhe.

Kufuneka wenze ntoni kwezi meko?

• Ngaphezulu kwayo yonke loo nto, sukuyikhathaza le nto okanye ucinge ukuba umntwana wethu "ungendawo" ngokwemvelo.

• Qonda ukuba umntwana uhamba kwelinye isigaba kuphuhliso lwabo, oluya kuthi shwaka ngokuhamba kwexesha.

• Sukubonisa ukusabela okugabadeleyo: nokuba kukuvumela ngokupheleleyo, okanye ukohlwaya rhoqo.

• Lindela uguquko lwengqondo lomntwana ngokwamava akhe nabanye abantwana ukumbonisa izibonelelo zokwabelana ngemidlalo kunye nezinto nokubabuza kunokuba uzithathe ngqo.

• Qhelisela umonde, ukuqonda kunye nemfundo ngomoya olungileyo wabantwana bethu.

• Yazi ukuba ayisiyondlela elula okanye ekhawulezayo leyo, kodwa iyenzeka ngokuthe ngcembe kwaye yenze elinye inqanaba kulungelelwaniso lomntwana kwimeko yezentlalo.

I-BIBLIOGRAPHY
U-Eva Bargalló Chaves, "Unyaka wesithathu wobomi", Ukuzalwa kunye nokukhula. Ihlabathi lonyana wakho ngenyathelo ngenyathelo, iBarcelona, ​​iSalvat, 2000, uMqulu XV.
ULuciano Montero, Ubumnandi bokukhula. Izitshixo zophuhliso olusempilweni lobuntu bonyana wakho, iBuenos Aires, iPlaneta, 1999.