Abahlobo bonyana wam, kufuneka ndibakhethe?

Abahlobo ababini bahamba kunye bebambene ngezandla ebaleni.

Abazali, besebancinci, kufuneka bafundise abantwana babo imilinganiselo, ebavumela ukuba benze izigqibo ezithile, njengokukhetha abahlobo.

Xa ungumntwana kwaye uqala ukuba nakho ukunxibelelana, ubudlelwane nabantu abangaphandle kwendawo ekufutshane kuwe buqala. Abantwana bayakhetha kwaye benze abahlobo, kwaye abazali bayoyika ukuba loluphi uhlobo lobudlelwane olunokuthi lwenze kwaye ukuba oko kulungele umntwana. Kodwa ngaba abazali bafanele babandakanyeke kuloo nto? Ngaba bafanele bakhethe abahlobo babantwana babo? Siza kuthetha ngayo ngokweenkcukacha ezingakumbi.

Ukhuseleko lwabazali: ukugqithisa?

Abazali bahlala befuna ukwazi kangangoko malunga nomntwana wabo, ngakumbi xa beqala ukwenza ubudlelwane nabanye abantwana esikolweni, epakini, ekuhlaleni ... Abantwana bafuna ukuba nabahlobo abanokuchitha nabo ixesha, bonwabe kwaye babelane phantse yonke into. Ngamaxesha athile, abazali bazama ukunciphisa umda kubuchule boku Libertad yabantwana babo ngokukholelwa kwabanye abantwana impembelelo embi. Zisekwe kwimigwebo yexabiso, kwizimvo zabanye abantu, kuthathelwa ingqalelo imvelaphi yabo, inqanaba labo lezoqoqosho, imigaqo yokuziphatha ethile, inkolo okanye ezopolitiko ...

Abazali bangacebisa abantwana babo, babakhokele kwaye besebancinci kakhulu ukuba bafundise, imigaqo yobomi kunye nokuhlalisana. Ngaphandle kokhuseleko olugqithisileyo, baya kuba ngabo baya kuba nakho ukujongana nezigqibo ezithile. Kulungile ukuba utata ujonge intlalo-ntle yonyana wakhe nanini na xa ebona isimo sengqondo esingathandekiyo kwabanye. Ukuba umntwana ukhululekile kwaye ukhululekile baya kufuna ukulandela ubuhlobo nomntu. Ngaphandle koko, baya kuyazi indlela yokucela uncedo okanye ukuveza into ebonakala ngathi ayifanelekanga.

Ubuhlobo phakathi kwabantwana

Amakhwenkwe amabini, izihlobo, adlala nekhompyuter.

Abazali banokubabona abahlobo babantwana babo rhoqo, kwaye baqwalasele indlela abaziphatha ngayo ukuze banike uluvo lwabo, baqonde kwaye bancede ukusombulula.

Xa utata ebekhe wathetha nonyana wakhe malunga nokuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuba ngumhlobo, kuya kwenza kube lula kuye ukumfumana kwaye abe mnye. Utata anganceda kolo khangelo, mxelele ukuba kubudlelwane kufanele kubekho imbeko nokuncedana, kodwa hayi ukuxhatshazwa, ukuthotywa okanye ukudelelwa. Utata ngumzekelo wokuqala wonyana, ke inkululeko, uxanduva, iya kuba yimixholo aza kuyikopa ukuze akhe ubuhlobo ukuba uyababona ekhayeni lakhe.

Ukuba umntwana ubona ubudlelwane obunempilo phakathi kwamalungu osapho yonke imihla, kuya kuba lula kuye ukuba aziqhelanise nabanye. Kuya kuba luncedo olukhulu ukubona isisa sokwabelana, umbulelo, imfesane, uncedo, uthando, ukuthembeka…, njengesiqhelo. Ukuba umntwana uzirhangqa nabantu abalungileyo kwaye ulungile, uya kukhangela into efanayo kuye. Abazali abanesi siqendu, kwaye ngaphandle koloyiko lwento engaziwayo, baya kumenza umntwana, kwixesha elizayo, abe ngumnini wezigqibo zabo.

Inkululeko yokuzikhethela abahlobo

Umntwana uya kusebenza ngokufanelekileyo nomnye ukuba unelungelo lokuhlala naye nabani na amfunayo, hayi kunye nabani na onyanzelweyo. Kuya kufuneka unenkululeko ekuvumela ukuba ukhethe. Emva kwemfundo eqinileyo kwi xabiso kunye neenjongo zentlonipho kunye nobumbano, omncinci unesiseko esaneleyo sokubeka abantwana kwisangqa sakhe anqwenela ukuba ngabahlobo. Kwezinye iimeko obo buhlobo buhlala endleleni, kuba njengakwezinye ubudlelwane, xa usiya usazi ngobunzulu, kusenokwenzeka ukuba izixhobo ezifanelekileyo aziphumeleli.

Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ube nabaninzi, kodwa ube nabahlobo abalungileyo. Kwiimeko ezininzi abantwana banomhlobo osenyongweni abenza naye yonke into kwaye mhlawumbi omnye okanye ababini ngaphezulu ukugqibezela iqela. Utata kufuneka amamele unyana xa kukho into afuna ukuyithetha ngomhlobo kwaye amcebise, acacise into elungileyo nengafanelekanga. Ngumbono olungileyo ukubona izihlobo zabantwana rhoqo kwaye uziqwalasele indlela yokuziphatha kumntu wokuqala. Ukuba kunyanzelekile, kufuneka bangenelele okanye bancede ukuyiguqula, nokuba kufanelekile, bayityhilele abazali babo. Ngale ndlela, abantwana baya kufundiswa abanovelwano kwaye bancede abanye. Akucetyiswa ukuthetha kakubi ngabahlobo bakhe, kodwa ukumxhasa kangangoko.


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  1. Uxanduva lwedatha: UMiguel Ángel Gatón
  2. Injongo yedatha: Ulawulo lwe-SPAM, ulawulo lwezimvo.
  3. Umthetho: Imvume yakho
  4. Unxibelelwano lwedatha: Idatha ayizukuhanjiswa kubantu besithathu ngaphandle koxanduva lomthetho.
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