Kuqhelekile ukuba abakwishumi elivisayo balwe, ingakumbi ukuba bangabantwana bakowenu. Nakuphi na ukungabalulekanga sisizathu sokuba balwe ngokungathi bangabantwana abancinane, nangona besebenzisa ulwimi olwahlukileyo nolungakumbi lwabadala. Imilo yabantakwenu ikwanenjongo eluncedo abamele bayifunde. Xa abantwana okanye abaselula benxibelelana nabazali, bafunda ngegunya. Endaweni yoko, ukusebenzisana nabantakwabo kubanceda bafunde kwaye baziqhelanise nezakhono zobudlelwane boontanga.
Ukuba imilo yabantwana bakowenu iphathwa ngendlela eyiyo, baya kufunda izakhono ezahlukeneyo eziluncedo kakhulu kwikamva labo lophuhliso lwentlalo nobungcali. Izakhono ezinje ngeengxaki kunye nokusombulula impixano, uvelwano, ukujongana nezimvo ezahlukeneyo, ukulungelelana kunye nothethathethwano luya kuba yinxalenye yobuntu babo. Ngesi sizathu, akuyomfuneko ukubathintela ekulweni, into ekufuneka uyenzile kukuzama ukusombulula iiyantlukwano zabo ngaphandle kokuba ungquzulwano luqhubeke ixesha elide.
Yintoni endinokuyenza ukuba abantwana bam abafikisayo bayalwa?
Imilo phakathi kwabantwana abazalwayo inokubangela iimvakalelo ezinamandla. Ngoko ke, kuyimfuneko ukubanceda bagcine uxolo ngoxa bezama ukucombulula iingxabano zabo. Akusoloko kulula yaye basenokufuna ixesha ngaphambi kokuba bajongane neengxaki zabo kunye, kodwa indima yabazali kukulamla ngoxolo ukuze bazicombulule iingxaki ngokwabo nangokuzola. Zama ukubacela ukuba bamamele uluvo lomnye kwaye bafumane indawo ephakathi.
Ukuba nilwela into ebonakalayo, njengomdlalo wevidiyo okanye isiqwenga sempahla, umzekelo, yikhulule de nibe nesisombululo kunye. Amaxesha amaninzi, abasayi kukwazi ukuyicombulula ngokwabo imilo yabo nakuloo meko Kuya kufuneka kungenelele ukuze le ngxaki ingamili kwangethuba. Babuze ukuba kutheni bexambulisana kwaye ngamnye wabo ufuna ntoni. Ukusuka apho, zama ukufumana izisombululo. Qinisekisa ukuba kukho ukuvumelana phakathi kwezi zibini, oko kukuthi, kufuneka banikezele ukuze kwenzeke isivumelwano.
Indlela yokunciphisa imilo yabantakwabo kwixesha elizayo?
Ulutsha bakhawuleza baqonde ukuba baphathwa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, ngcono okanye ezimbi. Yaye ukuba bayayifumanisa, baya kuyisebenzisela inzuzo yabo. Nangona ingeyiyo into ecetywayo, ukuthelekisa omnye wabantwana bakho nomnye kuya kudala iimvakalelo ezimbi phakathi kwabo. Gxininisa kumandla omntu ngamnye ngokuzimeleyo. Ngamnye ulungile okanye ulungile kwinto enye, kwaye oko kulungile. Banokuncedana kwaye loo nto yenza ukuba umahluko ube mhle.
Ukuchitha ixesha elisemgangathweni kunye nomntwana wakho ngamnye kubaluleke kakhulu kuwe njengoko kubalulekile kubo, kwaye yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokuba nazane ngcono. Asimele siyilibale loo nto abantwana abakhe bakhule ngokwaneleyo ukuba bachithe ixesha nabo kwaye uhlale ubazi. Bacacisele ukuba ukwahluka kwabo ngokweminyaka kuthetha umahluko koko bavumelekileyo ukuba bakwenze nakwiimbopheleleko abanazo. Ngoku engqondweni, qiniseka ukuba bafumana unyango olufanayo kwiminyaka efanayo.
Ukwakha ubudlelwane obuhle bentsapho ukuze abantwana bakowenu bangalwi
Kwikhaya kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ube nendawo yobuqu engaphazanyiswa ngaphandle kwemvume ecacileyo. Ukuba negumbi lakho, izinto ezingenakutshintshelwa, okanye ixesha kunye nabahlobo ngaphandle kokubandakanya abantakwenu kubalulekile. Kodwa kukwabaluleke ngokufanayo ukuba neendawo kunye nexesha elifanayo kunye nentsapho yonke. Ukwabelana ngezinto zokuzonwabisa ezifana nezemidlalo, ukuthenga, ukupheka okanye ukubukela iimuvi kunye imisebenzi ekufuneka ikhuthazwe ukuze unxibelelwano phakathi kwawo onke amalungu lube lulwelo.
Enyanisweni, unxibelelwano sesona sixhobo sibalulekileyo kuyo yonke intsapho. Abantwana bakho bafanele bazi ukuba banokuthetha nawe ngawo nawuphi na umba obakhathazayo, kwaye uya kusoloko uzama ukubanceda bafumane izicombululo. Ukuba neentlanganiso zentsapho ukuze kuxutyushwe iingxaki kuya kwenza intsapho imanyane ngakumbi xa kufikelelwa kumba wokusingatha iingxabano zangaphakathi. Yindlela impembelelo entle kuzo. Ngale ndlela baya kukwazi ukujonga baze bafunde indlela abazali babo abathethathethana ngayo baze bahlangabezane nokungavisisani kwabo. Bamele baqonde ukuba kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba abantwana bakowenu abakwishumi elivisayo balwe, kodwa kwakhona ukucombulula iingxabano kuqhelekile,
Xa ufuna uncedo lwangaphandle?
Imilo yabantwana abazalwayo ifikelela kwincopho yokuqala yobutsha, xa umntakwenu omncinci efikelela kuloo minyaka. Ukuba umntwana omncinci ubona umntakwabo omdala njengomnye umntu onegunya, ukulwa kunokunyuka. njengoko okwishumi elivisayo ezama ukufumana inkululeko kubazali nakubantakwabo. Oku kumgama kumanani abasemagunyeni yinxalenye yophuhliso lwabo olusingise ekukhuleni.
Ezona ndawo zixhaphakileyo zongquzulwano phakathi abazalwana abakwishumi elivisayo kukulingana nobulungisa, indawo yobuqu, izinto abanazo, nabahlobo. Amaxesha amaninzi olu ngquzulwano alulawuleki entsatsheni, ngoko ke kubalulekile ukufuna uncedo lwangaphandle. Xa umlo womntakwenu ufikelela kwinqanaba lokungabuyi, xa uphazamisa okanye ulimaza abanye abantu, okanye ingxabano ijika ibe yindlela yokuziphatha enobudlova ngokuthetha nangomzimba, funa uncedo.
Ukuxoxa ngale meko nogqirha wakho inokuba linyathelo lokuqala. Ukumxelela ukuba abantwana bakho abakwishumi elivisayo bayalwa asiyonto iza kumothusa, kodwa ukuba uyayichaza imeko enzima ejamelene nayo intsapho yakowenu, uya kwenza inkqubo yokunceda intsapho yakho. Angakuthumela kwisayikholojisti ejongene neengxaki zokuziphatha zabantwana nabafikisayo. Kodwa ungalibali ukubabandakanya bobabini abakwishumi elivisayo, uncedo lufunwa ngabo bobabini.