"Ndingumama kwaye ndiziva ndindedwa." Ngaba wakha waziva oku? Ukuba kunjalo, awufanele woyike okanye ucinge ukuba uza kuwela kuxinzelelo. Le mvakalelo ingaphezulu kwesiqhelo, ngakumbi kwiminyaka yokuqala yobomi babantwana bethu.
Siyazi kakuhle ukuba sinoncedo lweqabane lethu, usapho lwethu, ukuba ukhathalelo kunye nokuqwalaselwa kwabantwana bethu ngumsebenzi wakhe wonke umntu, nangona kunjalo, ukukhulisa abantwana kula manqanaba okuqala obomi kusondela kuthi kuphela. La ngamaxesha apho iingcinga ezininzi, amathandabuzo, kwaye ngaphezulu kwako konke, ukuziva ulilolo kuvela. Kuvuliwe "Madres Hoy» queremos ofrecerte algunas estrategias de afrontamiento.
Izizathu zokuba ndizive ndililolo
Izizathu zokuba ungaziva ulilolo zininzi kwaye azinayo imvelaphi efanayo. Ngoku, kufuneka icaciswe kwasekuqaleni ukuba asithethi nje ngosizi lwasemva kokubeleka olunokuthi ngamanye amaxesha lukhokelele kuxinzelelo. Sithetha kuphela malunga nemvakalelo yokuba "nesithukuthezi" anokukuva ngayo umama ngawo nawuphi na umzuzu.
Oonobangela, kwaye njengomzekelo, banokuba zezi zilandelayo.
- Uyekile ukusebenza, iindlela zakho zitshintshile kwaye uchitha iiyure ezininzi wedwa ekhaya ukhathalela abantwana bakho. Nonwabile, niyabathanda abantwana benu, kodwa "niyaqonda ukuba nilahlekile."
- Unoncedo nenkxaso yeqabane lakho, kodwa awuziva uqondwa ngokupheleleyo okanye uxhaswe, kukho izinto ezithile zokukhulisa umntwana wakho apho uziva ulilolo.
- Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ungumama osemncinci. Kungenzeka ukuba abahlobo bakho baqhubeke nobomi babo njengesiqhelo, amaxesha abo okonwaba, ukufunda, loo nkululeko ibikade ikubonakalisa ngaphambili kwaye ngoku, ngandlela thile, awusenayo. Uyabona ukuba ngelixa unemisebenzi emitsha (oyithandayo noyamkelayo), abanye abantu babonakala ngathi bakushiya ngasemva.
- Ngamanye amaxesha kunokwenzeka ukuba, nangasiphi na isizathu, ujongene nomama wedwa. Nokuba ngokuzithandela okanye akunjalo, le nyani ngamanye amaxesha ikwenza uzive ungonwabanga.
Kuzo zonke ezi zinto, inqaku elinye lihlala licacile: siphilile, sonwabile nabantwana bethu, akukho malaise okanye ingxaki ekhoyo. Ekuphela kwento eyenzekayo kukuba siziva sisodwa, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha yimvakalelo ekhathazayo.
Kwenziwa ntoni qho ndiziva ndililolo ngelixa ndikhulisa abantwana bam
Ziphephe iindlela eziqhelekileyo
Ziphephe iinkqubo xa unabantwana? Kubonakala ngathi akunakwenzeka, kuba njengoko sele sazi, ngakumbi Ngexesha leenyanga zokuqala zobomi bomntwana, iinkqubo ezithile kunye nemikhwa ziyafuneka ukuvumela ukukhula okufanelekileyo kosana.
Lactation, naps…. Kwaye le meko ayihlali itshintsha kakhulu, kuba nangona abantwana bekhuthele ngakumbi njengoko bekhula, oomama banyanzelekile ukuba balandele imikhwa yabantwana bethu. Kungenxa yoko le nto, xa siphantsi kwezi shedyuli zingqongqo ekufuneka sizidibanise nomsebenzi wethu, Siphela phantsi kweentsuku ezifanayo ngokufanayo.
Yintoni esinokuyenza? Qaphela oku kulandelayo.
- Hlanganisa uxanduva lwabantwana neqabane lakho okanye amanye amalungu osapho ukuba kunokwenzeka.
- Yazi ukuba usuku ngalunye kufuneka lube lukhethekileyo kwaye lukhetheke, Kwaye oku, kufuneka wenze into entsha yonke imihla ukufumana inkuthazo kunye nokuzonwabisa okuncinci.
- Thatha uhambo lokuhambahamba nomntwana wakho, ilanga malikukhanyisele, yiya kwindawo yokutyela ngenqwelo, udibane nabahlobo bakho: hlala.
- Ukuba kunokwenzeka, ungabhalisela ikhosi nomntwana wakho apho ninokonwabela amava omabini: kukho iiklasi zokudada zeentsana, iyoga kunye neeklasi zokuphumla, ukuvuselela kwangoko... Ngokuqinisekileyo zizinto ezinomvuzo kakhulu.
Thetha nomntu malunga nendlela oziva ngayo
Ukuba uziva ulilolo, thetha ngayo neqabane lakho. Eyona nto inokubakho, kukho ingxaki esisiseko ekufuneka ijongiwe:
- Unokuthatha uxanduva oluninzi kwaye uyabona ukuba iqabane lakho alikho kwinqanaba elifanayo. Sukuyibona njengengalunganga, ngamanye amaxesha, oomama bathambekele ekulawuleni izinto ezininzi zokuba ngumzali Kule minyaka yokuqala kwaye ngaphandle kwentsingiselo, abazali bashiyeke kwindawo yesibini ngenxa yokungazithembi.
- Misela ingxoxo efanelekileyo neqabane lakho. Sukulinda ukuba afune into eyenzekayo kuwe: Kuyimfuneko ukuseka unxibelelwano oluchaphazelekayo olufanelekileyo apho yonke into ivezwa khona. Ukuba uyathula malunga nendlela oziva ngayo, uya kuqokelela ingqumbo kunye nosizi, kwaye kancinci kancinci ukungabikho koncedo kunokusikhokelela kuxinzelelo.
Ungumama kunye nomntu obhinqileyo ekufuneka eqhubeke nokukhuthaza ukukhula kwakho
Ungumama, into ephambili yakho ngabantwana bakho kwaye yinto ocacileyo leyo. Ngoku, ungalibali ukuba kufuneka ukhathalele ukukhula kwakho, apho unokuqhubeka nokukhathalela ukuzithemba kwakho, ukufikelela kumaphupha kunye neeprojekthi zokwakha.
- Ngamanye amaxesha Oomama abaninzi baye bacinge ukuba ngokuzalwa komntwana wabo ubomi babo bobungcali buphelile, okanye ubuncinci, uninzi lwezo ngcango bendiziphupha sele zivaliwe.
- Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uye kwezi zinto zigqithisileyo. Uyazi ukuba uyamthanda unyana wakho, kwaye uya kumenzela yonke into, nangona kunjalo, oku akuphikisani nokuqhubeka nokukhula buqu kunye noqeqesho.
- Mhlawumbi isizathu sokuba uzive unesizungu kungenxa yokuba ubona ukuba ubomi bakho bume ngandlela thile. Sukuwela kule mpazamo kwaye uyikhumbule loo nto Ukuba awonwabanga kwaye awuziva mnandi ngesiqu sakho, kunzima kakhulu kuwe ukuba unike ulonwabo kwabo bakungqongileyo.
Ungumama, wenze ubuthathaka bakho amandla akho kunye nezinto ezimbalwa ezinokukunqanda. Isizathu? Isizathu kukuba kwaye iya kuba ngabantwana bakho, abo kufuneka uqhubeke uqhubela phambili, abo kufuneka uqhubeke nokukhula yonke imihla ukonwaba ngawe, ubenze bonwabe.
- Imvakalelo yokuba lilolo yinto eqhelekileyo ebantwini, ayisiyodwa yakho
- Qonda ukuba bonke oomama baziva ngolu hlobo: lokuba yedwa kunye noxanduva lokuba ngumzali. Kwaye ngaphezulu, sonke, oomama okanye abo bangengabo oomama, amadoda, abafazi, abantwana kunye nabantu abadala, bayasokola yonke imihla phambi kolu luvo.
- Ubulolo obusamkelayo amaxesha ngamaxesha sisilumkiso nje, isilumkiso sokuba kukho into ebomini bethu ekufuneka sijongane nayo.
- Ngamanye amaxesha kwanele ukwenza utshintsho oluncinci: hamba-hamba, utshintshe indlela yesiqhelo, thetha nabanye oomama kwaye wabelane ngamava. Uya kuqonda ukuba yinto eqhelekileyo, ubume boluntu uqobo.
Nangona kunjalo, xa uziva ulilolo ungabathabathela abantwana bakho ubenzele into entsha kunye nabo: beka umculo, phuma uye kwindawo ekuthiwa yi sunbathe, yiba ne ice cream ... Ilanga liyaphuma yonke imihla kwaye lisoloko lisinika izizathu zokuncuma.