Ukuba ufuna ukunqanda ukuba nabantwana abathandanayo, sukubaxabisa. Lowo ngumyalezo ophambili wesifundo esitsha liqela labaphandi kwiYunivesithi yaseOhio State eColumbus nakwiDyunivesithi yaseAmsterdam eNetherlands, epapashwe kwi Iinkqubo ze-US National Academy of Sciences. Abaphandi baqhube isifundo ngenjongo yokuqonda imvelaphi ye- narcissism. Ngokuhambelana, olu luphando lokuqala olunokubakho lokuphanda ukuba i-narcissism ikhula njani.
Abazali abaninzi babaphatha abantwana babo ngokungathi bangaphezulu kwabo bonke abanye abantu, ngokungathi bafanelwe kukugqwesa okukodwa. Alithandabuzeki elokuba kubazali abantwana babo zezona zikhethekileyo emhlabeni. Kwaye akufuneki ukuba ithathelwe ingqalelo ukuzithemba yabantwana ibalulekile ukuze bakhule kakuhle. Kodwa ukubaxabisa ngokugqithisileyo akonyusi amanqanaba abo okuzithemba, kodwa kunoko kubenza babenomdla. Ndiza kukuxelela ngokweenkcukacha apha ngezantsi.
Ukuzithemba Vs Narcisimo
Abantu be-Narcissistic baziva bengaphezulu kwabanye, becinga ngempumelelo yabo, kwaye bakholelwa ukuba bafanele unyango olukhethekileyo. Xa baziva behlazekile, bahlala bekrwada okanye babenobundlobongela. Ukwazi imvelaphi ye-narcissism kubalulekile kuyilo longenelelo olunceda ukunciphisa okanye ukuthintela ukukhula kwalo.
Olu phononongo lufuna ukubonisa ukuba i-narcissism ebantwaneni ikhuliswa kukuxabisa okungaphezulu kwabazali abakholelwa ukuba abantwana babo babaluleke ngakumbi kwaye banamalungelo amaninzi kunabanye. Ngokuchasene noko ubushushu lwabazali kunceda ukuhlakulela phezulu ukuzithemba ebantwaneni xa bebonisa abantwana babo uthando kunye noxabiso.
Iziphumo zolu phononongo zibonisa ukuba i-narcissism ingene ngaphakathi kumava entlalontle, kwaye iphakamise ukuba ungenelelo loqeqesho lwabazali lunokunceda ukunciphisa ukukhula kwe-narcissistic kunye nokunciphisa iindleko zalo eluntwini.
Uphuhliso lokufunda
Iqela lifumene abantwana abangama-565 eNetherlands kunye nabazali babo. Abantwana babephakathi kweminyaka esixhenxe ukuya kweli-7 ukuqala kwesifundo. Abathathi-nxaxheba bagqibe kuvavanyo olusemgangathweni amatyeli amane ngexesha lokufunda, kunye nexesha leenyanga ezi-11 phakathi kophando ngalunye. Kolu phando, abazali bacelwa ukuba balinganise esikalini ukuba bavumelana kangakanani neengxelo ezinxulumene nomntwana wabo, ezinje, "Umntwana wam ungumzekelo omhle kwabanye abantwana."
Bobabini abantwana nabazali babuzwa malunga nemfudumalo ebonakaliswe ngabazali. Abazali baceliwe ukuba balinganise iingxelo ezinje "Ndazisa unyana wam ukuba ndiyamthanda." Abantwana babeceliwe ukuba babhale amanqaku afana nokuthi "utata / umama undazisa ukuba uyandithanda."
Abaphandi babenomdla wokwahlula i-narcissism nokuzithemba phakathi kwabathathi-nxaxheba, kwaye ngokwenza njalo baqhuba imilinganiselo kubantwana bazo zombini ezi mpawu.
"Abantu abanokuzithemba okuphezulu bacinga ukuba balungile njengabanye, ngelixa ama-narcissists ecinga ukuba angcono kunabanye", Utshilo uBrad Bushman, umbhali-mbhali wesifundo kunye nonjingalwazi wezonxibelelwano kunye nezengqondo kwiYunivesithi yaseOhio.
Kolu phando, abantwana abanokuzithemba okuphezulu bavumile ngezi ngxelo zicebisa ukuba bonwabile iziqu zabo kwaye benze ireferensi yokuba bayaluthanda uhlobo lomntu abalulo, bengatsho ngeziqu zabo ukuba babebaluleke ngakumbi kunabanye.
UNjingalwazi Bushman kunye noogxa bakhe bafumanise ukuba abantwana abachazwe ngabazali babo kuphando "njengabakhetheke kakhulu kunabanye abantwana" kwaye "abafanelwe ngaphezulu ebomini" benze ngcono kwiimvavanyo ze-narcissism.
“Abantwana bayabakholelwa abazali babo xa bebaxelela ukuba babaluleke ngaphezu kwabanye. Oko akunakulunga kubo okanye kuluntu », Utsho uNjingalwazi Bushman.
Abazali babaxakekisile abantwana babo ukuze bazonyuse ukuzithemba kwabo
Umbhali okhokelayo u-Eddie Brummelman, umphandi kwiYunivesithi yaseAmsterdam, ucebisa ukuba abazali banokujonga ngaphezulu abantwana babo ngelinge lokunyusa ukuzithemba kwabo, kodwa "Endaweni yokwandisa ukuzithemba, ukuxabisa ngaphezulu kunokunyusa amanqanaba e-narcissism ngokungazi."
Ngaphaya koko, ukuxabisa okungaphezulu komzali kwakungadibaniswa nesifundo kunye namanqanaba aphezulu okuzithemba ebantwaneni. Nangona kunjalo, bekukho unxibelelwano phakathi kwabazali ababonakalise ubushushu beemvakalelo kunye nabantwana ababonisa ukuzithemba okuphezulu ngokuhamba kwexesha. Kwakhona, uphononongo alufumananga unxibelelwano phakathi kobushushu babazali kunye narcissism.
Into enomdla kukuba, uNjingalwazi Bushman ubanga ukuba njengotata wabantwana abathathu, indlela yakhe yokuba ngumzali itshintshile ngenxa yophando lwakhe. “Ukuqala kwam ukwenza olu phando ngeminyaka yoo-1990, ndandisoloko ndicinga ukuba abantwana bam mabaphathwe ngokungathi babaluleke ngokukodwa. Ndiqinisekile ukuba andenzi ngoku. Kubalulekile ukubonisa ukufudumala kubantwana bakho kuba kunokubakhuthaza ukuzithemba, kodwa ukubaxabisa kakhulu kunokukhuthaza ngakumbi i-narcissism.
Ababhali bakholelwa ukuba iziphumo zabo ziyaxhasa umbono wokuba ungenelelo lokuba ngumzali lunokufundisa abazali ukuba babonakalise uthando kubantwana babo ngaphandle kokubaxelela ukuba bangaphezulu kwabanye abantwana. "Izifundo ezizayo kufuneka zivavanye ukuba ingaba iyasebenza na", Ugqiba uBrummelman.
IiCententarios
Ukuziva ubhetele kunabanye kususa abantu kulonwabo. I-Narcissism inokujika ibe sisi sifo.
Ukufundisa ukuzithemba kubandakanya okungaphezulu kwento yokuba umntwana eziva exabisekile. Umntwana, ukongeza kokwazi amandla akhe, kufuneka afunde ukuba buthini ubuthathaka bakhe kwaye afunde indlela yokoyisa. Umntwana kufuneka afunde ukuba angakwazi ukuphucula, kwaye kufuneka afunde ukubaluleka kokuzibekela usukelo olusengqiqweni kunye nokuziva uyolo lokulufikelela.