Uncwadi ludale kuthi umfanekiso-ngqondweni indima katata wesibini kwaye, ngaphezu kwako konke, umama wesibini ongalunganga. I-Royal Academy of Language sele inike le ntsingiselo ye-pejorative, kodwa ngethamsanqa igama elithi utata wesibini okanye umama wesibini ngoku alithathi cala, lichaza imeko enenjongo.
Utata okanye umama wesibini ohlala neqabane okanye a ukhokho ababesele benabantwana. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba iqabane lingumhlolokazi okanye ngumhlolo, ngoko akukho ngxelo iphilayo, okanye bekukho ukwahlukana okanye uqhawulo-mtshato. Kukwakho nezinye iimeko, njengabantwana boomama abangenamaqabane, nemibandela enjalo.
Indima katata wesibini okanye umama wesibini
Kubalulekile ukuba icace loo nto umama okanye utata wemvelo akanakutshintshwa. Nokuba bakhona okanye abakho. Umntwana, nokuba umncinci, kufuneka aqonde ukuba iqabane likayise okanye likanina ayingoyise wokwenene. Ukuba ngumntwana ongamaziyo uyise omzalayo, olu lwazi luya kunikwa ngabazali xa beluqwalasela.
Kubalulekile ukuba umzali wesibini Musa ukuziveza njengomama omtsha okanye utata omtsha.. Olu tshintsho lunokubangela ukuba abantwana balahle iqabane likamama okanye likatata. Inkwenkwe okanye intombazana iya kuqala ukubiza ubaba okanye umama xa evakalelwa, oku akufanele kunyanzeliswe, kufuneka kwenzeke kwixesha lexesha. Kuqhelekile ukuba abantwana babize umama wabo wesibini okanye utata wabo wesibini ngegama labo lokuqala.
Indima esisiseko katata wesibini okanye umama wesibini imele ibe yiyo xhasa kwaye ubeke imida ekhuthaza ukuthembana nentlonipho. Kunzima ukungayithathi indima yoqeqesho, nto leyo engumsebenzi wabazali bemvelo. Abazali bomtshato wesibini bamele balandele imithetho abakubekele yona.
Indima katata wesibini okanye umama wesibini kwisibini
Emva kokwahlukana okanye umhlolokazi, abantu abaninzi baphinda bakhe ubomi babo bothando, bajoyine iqabane elitsha, elinokuthi libe nabantwana okanye lingabi nabo. Inokwenzeka ngayo loo nto omabini amalungu asebenza njengomama wesibini kunye notata wesibini ngaxeshanye, kunye nabazali bemvelo bomntwana omtsha.
Ukuba omnye wabazali uye ngumhlolokazi, ngokuqhelekileyo indima katata wesibini okanye umama wesibini idla ngokuba ngumzali. Imisebenzi kunye nemisebenzi katata okanye umama webhayoloji iyacingelwa. Ke ngoko, akukho kusukuzana okanye ukungavisisani nomzali.
Enoba injani na imeko, amathandabuzo, amagqabaza, okanye imeko yokukhulisa abantwana ongavumelaniyo nayo, kulunge ngakumbi. Thetha bucala neqabane lakho kunokuba uzame ukuyitshintsha. Imele ikhunjulwe into yokuba ngaphambi kokuba isibini singene kubomi baso, wayesele engutata okanye umama, yaye bahlengahlengisa indlela abakhuliswa ngayo ngendlela ababecinga ukuba bafanele bakhule ngayo.
Ezinye iingcebiso
Sikunika iingcebiso ezisebenza ngokubanzi ukuchaza, ukwamkela okanye ukuthatha indima katata wesibini okanye umama wesibini. Kuzo zombini iindima kuyafuneka ukuba kuthathelwe ingqalelo ixesha lokuhlalisana elimiselweyo.
- Yiba nomonde. Kubantwana abancinci ixesha lokuziqhelanisa lidla ngokuba lula, kodwa kwabo bangaphezu kweminyaka eyi-10 ubudala (ingakumbi abafikisayo), kunzima kakhulu. Musa ukulindela ukuba umntwana aphendule kuwe ngokunyamekela kunye nothando ukususela ekuqaleni, ukuba uphelele, kodwa ukuba akunjalo, umonde. Bavela iimeko zeemvakalelo ezinzima ezinxulumene nokwaphuka. Kungcono ukwenza izinto ngendlela eyakhayo nangomonde. Ekuhambeni kwexesha izinto ziya kuba lula. Njengabantu abadala, simele sicacelwe kukuba ukunxulumana nabantwana bomtshato wesibini kuthatha ixesha. Ngamanye amaxesha kuya kuthatha iinyanga, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kuthatha iminyaka.
- Musa ukuthenga uthando. Abanye abantu benza impazamo yokuthenga izinto ezifunwa ngabantwana babo bomtshato wesibini. Izinto eziphathekayo kunzima ukuziguqula zibe luthando. Kungcono ukuba uzibandakanye kweminye yemisebenzi yabo, ukuba nje oku kungabandakanyi ukukhuphisana noyise okanye umama wemvelo. Mncede ngomsebenzi, mfundise into angayaziyo kwaye uzobona ukuba uza kuqala njani ukuba nomdla kuwe. Le yindlela yokuseka ubudlelwane obusekelwe kuthando kunye nomdla.