Ukwabelana ngokwenyani kubandakanya uvelwano, ukukwazi ukungena engqondweni yomnye kwaye ubone izinto ngokwembono yabo. Kunqabile ukuba abantwana babe nemfesane yokwenene ngaphambi kweminyaka emithandathu. Ngaphambi kwelo xesha baya kwabelana kuba abazali bayababeka kwimeko yokuba bayenze kodwa hayi kuba befuna ukuyenza. Musa ukulindela ukuba umntwana ongaphantsi kweminyaka emibini okanye emibini enesiqingatha avume ngokulula ukuba abelane.
Abantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka emibini bakumdlalo ofanayo: bayadlala kunye nabanye abantwana, kodwa hayi kunye nabo. Bazixakekisa ngeziqu zabo nangezinto zabo kwaye abayicingi into efunwa okanye evakalelwa ngomnye umntwana. Kodwa, ngokunikwa isikhokelo kunye nesisa, umntu oneminyaka emibini ozingcayo unokujika abe sisisa kwiminyaka emithathu okanye emine. Njengoko abantwana beqala ukudlala kunye kwaye basebenzisane ekudlaleni, baqala ukubona ixabiso lokwabelana.
Abantwana abanokuncamathiswa ngabazali banokuba novakalelo ngakumbi kwiimfuno zabanye kwaye ke ngenxa yoko banokukulungela ngakumbi ukwabelana. Okanye banokuba bazi ngakumbi ngemfuno yabo yokugcina imvakalelo yabo ngokungabelani nabanye. Kulula ukwabelana nomntu ongenamandla kunawe okanye osoyikisayo (okt umntwana omncinci), undwendwe endaweni yokuba ngumntakwenu, umntwana othuleyo kunokuba anyanzelise… Kuxhomekeke kubuntu bomntwana.
Ukwazi ukuba umntwana wakho ukulungele na ukwabelana, kuya kufuneka ubone ukuba ukulungele ngokwenene ngaphandle kokumgweba. Nokuba umntwana uneminyaka emithathu okanye emine ubudala, balindele ukutshintshiselana ngokufanelekileyo. Hlonipha kwaye ukhusele ilungelo lokuba umntwana wakho abe nezinto ezizezakhe. Umntwana wakho usenokungafuni ukwabelana naye ngento yakhe yokudlala kuba uyayithanda kwaye uyazi ukuba omnye umntwana usenokungayikhathaleli kakuhle kwaye ade ayaphule. Umntwana angaqala ukwabelana ukusuka kwiminyaka emi-3-4, kodwa ayizukuba semva kwe-6 xa beyenza kamnandi.