Inkwenkwe okanye intombazana ifunda ngokuxelisa. Enyanisweni, xa iintsana ziphakathi kweentsuku ezili-12 nezingama-21 ubudala, ziyakwazi ukuxelisa izimbo zobuso nezandla. Ukusuka apho baya kuxelisa izimbo zomzimba, amabinzana, izandi, amagama, ukusabela kwaneemvakalelo. Bakopa zombini ezingalunganga kunye nezakhayo ezivela kubahlobo babo basenkulisa okanye kootitshala babo. Kodwa, eyona mizekelo ibalulekileyo ifumaneka kwinucleus yosapho.
Nangona kunjalo Kukho ixesha apho ukulinganisa kuphantse kungabi namida, ukuba umntwana wakho ngelo xesha, kwaye uxelisa abanye abantwana, abantu abadala, abantakwabo abadala, siya kukuxelela ukuba kutheni le nto kunjalo. Kwaye sichaza ukubaluleka kwe-mirror neurons kwiinkqubo zokufunda.
Xa inqanaba lokulinganisa yonke into liqala
Malunga neminyaka emithathu ubudala, inkwenkwe okanye intombazana iya kuxelisa ngaphandle kwemida. Ukuxelisa kuya kuba yindlela yakho yokuphila. Awunakukhathazeka ukuba umntwana wakho ulinganisa abanye abantwana kuba ngumlinganiselo wokukhula. Umntwana uyaxelisa kuba ethanda, ebona yaye ebona ukuba kwenziwa izinto ezimngqongileyo afuna ukuzenza.
Umntwana ufuna ukufana nabanye yaye, ngaphezu kwako konke, uya kuxelisa abantu abadala kuba efuna ukuba mdala. Lixesha lokudlala oomama nootata. Ngokufuthi uya kuzithanda izijekulo ezithile, izenzo okanye amanani avelisa olu ncomelo. Oku kuncoma kuquka, ngaphezu kwako konke, abazalwana abadala.
Ngeli xesha, abancinci, amadoda nabafazi, Bamele bazive benenkululeko eyaneleyo yokuhamba ukuze bakhethe iindlela zabo zokulinganisa. Ukulinganisa kwabo akufuneki kucinezelwe. Sele siphawule ngezinye izihlandlo ukuba kufuneka sincede umntwana alawule ukuziphatha kwakhe ngemithetho eyalelweyo, kodwa akucebisi ukuba babe baninzi okanye bacinezele kakhulu.
Unyana wam ulinganisa abanye abantwana, ngoba?
Sonke siye saxelisa abanye esifunda nabo, okanye imisebenzi yasesikolweni, ebesifuna ukufana nabo size sibaqonde. Ingxaki inokuvela xa uninzi amakhwenkwe namantombazana aziva enomnqweno ogqithisileyo wokwenza ngokungqinelana neqela. Oku kunokuba sisithintelo kwizinto ezintsha kunye nokuyila, ngakumbi kwabancinci.
Kwimeko yabantwana abanayo abazalwana okanye oodade abadala, oku kuya kuba ngumfanekiso oyintloko wokuxelisa ekhaya, phambi kwabazali babo. Uya kubona umfanekiso we ubhuti oyena usondeleyo, ngumntu olingana naye abamthandayo nabaziva bezinikele kuye. Umzalwana omdala uya kuba ngumfundisi oya kuququzelela ukufunda okuninzi.
Unjingalwazi we-psychobiology uManuel Martín Loeches uyazithethelela ezi ndlela zokulinganisa ngaphandle nangaphakathi kwinucleus yosapho, ecacisa ukuba eyona nto iphambili. Iinkuthazo zoluntu zezoluntu. Umnqweno wokuphumelela okanye ukhuphiswano lokufumana izibonelelo kuko okusikhokelela kolu kuziphatha.
Yintoni ukulinganisa?
Siza kukucacisela ukuba yintoni na ukuba umntwana axelise abanye abantwana, okanye abantu abadala. Ngale ndlela uya kusiqonda ngcono isizathu sokuba umntwana wakho ekwenza oko. Abantwana baqala bajonge baze bajonge, emva koko bafunde baze ekugqibeleni baxelise. Ngombulelo koku, bafumana ukukwazi basebenzise amathuba abo okuvakalisa.
Le nkqubo yokuxelisa, esele siyichazile, ivela kwiintsuku zokuqala zokuzalwa kwaye ibangelwa mirror neurons, yafunyanwa nguGiacomo Rizzolatti. I-Mirror neurons luhlobo oluthile lwee-neuron ezisebenza xa nabani na esenza isenzo, kodwa ziphinda zisebenze xa sibona isenzo esifanayo. Ezi neurons zesipili zenza ukuba kubonwe injongo-yemvakalelo. Ukuqondana phakathi kwabantu kunye nesenzo kusekelwe ekubeni umntwana oxelisayo eqonda iinjongo kunye neenjongo zokuziphatha komnye.
Kwelinye icala, xa umntwana wakho exelisa abanye abantwana, ulahlekelwe luloyiko lokungaziwa. Uyazi okanye ucinga ngandlel’ ithile ukuba lo mzekelo awuxelisayo sele ukwenzile ngaphambili, yaye ukuba usebenze kakuhle ngaphambi kokuba aqiniseke. Ukuxelisa okwenziwa ngabanye abantwana konga amandla, yaye kunokusetyenziselwa ezinye izinto.