Nangona kwiimeko ezininzi ayinikwanga ukubaluleka kwayo, Kunyana okwishumi elivisayo, ukumshiya nesithandwa sakhe kuyinto enzima kunzima ukulinganisa. Ukuphoxeka kothando kuyinkimbinkimbi kwaye kungaphakathi ukufikisa kakhulu ngakumbi, ekubeni linqanaba lotshintsho, ukungakhuseleki kunye nokukhangela ubuntu bomntu. Ukuhamba kwimeko efana nale, ngaphandle kokuba nezixhobo eziyimfuneko zokuyilawula, kunokuba buhlungu kuye nawuphi na umntu oselula.
Xa umntu egqiba kwelokuba aphelise ubuhlobo, lowo ushiyekileyo akanakuziva egatywa. Amathandabuzo okwishumi elivisayo anokukhokelela kuye ukucinga ukuba akwanelanga, xa mhlawumbi ingumbandela nje wolutsha. Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukugcina unxibelelwano oluhle nabantwana bakho kwasebuntwaneni. Ekubeni, ngeli xesha, baya kufuna umntu othembekileyo abanokuthetha naye.
Ukuphoxeka kokuqala eluthandweni
Inkwenkwe yokuqala okanye intombi ethandana nayo yinto engasoze ilityalwe, inyathelo elikhokelela ekukhuleni ekufuneka wonke umntu adlule ngaxa lithile ebomini bakhe. Abanye abantu baneqabane labo lokuqala njengabantu abadala, nangona kunjalo, eyona nto ixhaphakileyo kukuba ubudlelwane bokuqala bothando buvela ekufikiseni. Uthando lobutsha lukhethekile, Yinto enokuphawula ikamva lobudlelwane beemvakalelo.
Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukuba ootata noomama bachithe ixesha bethetha nabantwana babo ngothando, ulwalamano, impilo yesini kunye, kakade, nokwahlukana. Nangona banokuba nobudlelwane obuhle kwaye obuhlala ixesha elide, kuqhelekile ukuba ubudlelwane obukwishumi elivisayo buphele ngaxa lithile. Kule mihla akuqhelekanga ukuba nobudlelwane obunye kuphela njengoko kwakunjalo mandulo.
Oku akuthethi ukuba ubudlelwane abunyanisekanga kumashumi ambalwa eminyaka eyadlulayo, kodwa kunokuba kunjalo Ulutsha luwaqonda ngakumbi amathuba amaninzi anikelwa bubomi. Amakhwenkwe namantombazana ayazi ukuba anokukhetha, ayakwazi ukugqiba ukuba ngubani ofuna ukwabelana naye ngexesha labo. Yinto emangalisayo leyo abafanele bayifunde kwasebuncinaneni babo. Kodwa asimele silibale ukunika abantwana izixhobo zokulawula ukuhlukana.
Ndingamnceda njani unyana wam okwishumi elivisayo ukuba intombi yakhe imshiya?
Akusoloko kulula ukwazi indlela yokwenza kwiimeko ezithile, kuba ngokuqhelekileyo, abazali banobunzima bokubona abantwana babo beselula, njengabantu abadala. Nangona kunjalo, yinto umntu ekufuneka ayilungiselele, kuba njalo unako ukufundisa umntwana wakho ukuba abe nobudlelwane obuphilileyo kwaye umncede xa intombi yakhe imshiya.
Unokumnceda njani umntwana wakho kule meko?
- Yiba novelwano nomntwana wakho: Khumbula indlela owaziva ngayo ngokwahlukana kwakho kokuqala, ukuphoxeka kwakho kokuqala eluthandweni, kwaye ungazijongeli phantsi iimvakalelo zabo. KUYAnokuba ibonakala ingabalulekanga kuwe, kumntwana wakho le isenokuba yeyona nto imbi yakha yamehlela.
- Mphulaphule uze umvumele ukuba aveze iimvakalelo zakhe: Kuphephe ukumxelela ukuba uza kuphumelela, ukuba yayingabalulekanga kangako okanye intombi ayikufanelanga. Makaphalaze, akhale, akhuphe konke ukudana kwakhe. Kubalulekile ukuba inkwenkwe ikwazi ukuchaza indlela eziva ngayo, kuba linyathelo eliphambi kokwamkelwa.
- Mncede aqonde isizathu sokuba kwenzeke oko: Mhlawumbi uyazibuza ukuba wenze ntoni na, kutheni ungafanelekanga ngokwaneleyo, umhle ngokwaneleyo, okanye ukhethekile ngokwaneleyo. La ngamathandabuzo anengqiqo kuye nawuphi na umntwana okwishumi elivisayo oye washiywa yintombi yakhe. Mcacisele ukuba uthando lunjalo, ukuba umntu akakhethi ukuba athande bani. Kwaye nangona kubuhlungu, kufuneka ugcine inkumbulo yayo yonke into oye wadibana nayo.
- Musa ukuthetha kakubi ngomtshakazi: Ungajongi ityala entombini okanye kulomntu umlahlileyo, ngokuqinisekileyo unyana wakho uzoqumba ngoba. Usathandana kwaye akafuni kuva izinto ezimbi. lwaloo mntu ukhethekileyo.
Ukwahlukana kuhlala kunzima, kwanabo babonakala bemsulwa kuba bekwishumi elivisayo. Ukulungiselela abantwana ubudlelwane beemvakalelo kubalulekile, ukuze bafumane uthando ngendlela ephilileyo. Ngaphezu kwakho konke, ukuze bakwazi ukwamkele ukwaphuka njengento engokwemvelo yobudlelwane nabanye abantu.