Kuqhelekile ukuba sicinge ukuba abantwana abancinci bayabetha, balume okanye batyhalele abanye abantwana kunye nabantwana abadala. Le yinto ebakhathaza kakhulu abazali, kuba abazi ukuba bayinqande njani kwaye ukuba umntwana wabo ungumntwana onochuku. "Ndingenza ntoni xa unyana wam ebetha?" Ngumbuzo othe rhoqo kwezi meko. Akukho mzali ufuna ukuba umntwana wakhe abethe. Namhlanje siza kuthetha malunga nokuba kutheni umntwana wakho ebetha kunye nendlela yokumisa le ndlela yokuziphatha.
Kufuneka uqale nini ukukhathazeka?
Ukuba umntwana wakho une between Unyaka o-1 no-3 awukhathazi Oku kunamathela, ayibonisi ukuba ubuntu bakho buya kuba njani. Yinto eqhelekileyo. Le ndlela yokuziphatha inxulumene nokudakumba kwakhe nokulawula iimvakalelo zakhe kwaye engazi ukuba uza kuyichaza njani ngamagama. Iyafana ngandlel 'ithile nemisindo abanayo. Injongo yakho ayikokukhathaza kodwa ukuveza ngandlela thile okwenzekayo kubo, nokuba bakwenza ngendlela engalunganga. Ulwimi lwabo lilinganiselwe kwaye abanasakhono sokubonisa ukungoneliseki kwabo, umsindo, umsindo okanye unxunguphalo. Njengakwimisindo, le ndlela yokuziphatha iyancipha rhoqo, nangona kungafanelekanga ukuba sihlale phantsi silinde ukuba zenzeke. Kufuneka senze okufanayo.
Es ukusuka kwiminyaka emi-3 xa indlela abaziphethe ngayo inenjongo kunye nenjongo yayo ukuba iya kuba kukwenzakalisa abanye. Apha kufuneka uqale ukukhathazeka.
Yintoni esinokuyenza ukunqanda le ndlela yokuziphatha?
Ukuba sibona unyana wethu ebetha omnye umntwana, into yokuqala ekufuneka siyenzile kukubahlula. Siza kukusa kwenye indawo ukuze ubone iziphumo zezenzo zakho.
Okwesibini ngu Yazisa umntwana ukuba ayilunganga kwaye asiyikhuthazi loo nto. Kuphephe ukuleyibhela njenge "Umubi", "ukuba uyayenza loo nto akukho mntu uya kukuthanda" namabinzana anjalo. Oku kuphela kwenza ukuba le ndlela yokuziphatha ikholelwe kwinto oyithethayo. Kufuneka sibaxelele ngokuqinileyo, ngokuzolileyo nangothando ukuba oku akulunganga. Kufuneka sivumelanise intetho yethu kwiminyaka yabo, ukuze basiqonde. Singakuxelela into enjalo “Ukuba ubetha abanye abantwana, kufuneka siye kwenye indawo ukuze ungabenzakalisi. Abanye abathandi ukubethwa ”.
Emva koko sinako zama ukuziqonda. Yaba kukusabela into eyenzekileyo. “Ndiyayiqonda ukuba unomsindo, ubufuna nokudlala ngaloo nto yokudlala. Kodwa akufuneki ubethe ukuze uyifumane, kuya kufuneka ulinde umntwana ukuba agqibe ukudlala ngayo. Emva koko ungadlala ngento yokudlala. "
Unokuvuma ukudlala kwenye indawo okanye enye qinisa ukubuyela ekudlaleni apho wawukho. Ukuba le yimeko yesibini, siya kukunika elinye ithuba, umkhumbuza ukuba ukubetha kwakhona kuya kufuneka baphinde bemke. Ukuba uyaphinda uyenze kwakhona, kuya kuba ngcono uye kwenye indawo okanye ugoduke, kodwa hayi njengesohlwayo. Chaza ukuba kuya kufuneka uhambe xa kuhlwile okanye kuyana. Ukuba ufumana usizi, ungamwola ukuze wehlise umoya. Ukuba uya kudlala kwakhona nomntwana ngoxolo, ukuvuyisana naye. Mxelele ukuba uzisombulula njani izinto ngaphandle kokusombulula ngokubetha.
Ungumzekelo kunyana wakho
Khumbula ukuba ungumzekelo omhle womntwana wakho. Ukuba ubona ubundlongondlongo kwimpendulo yakho nokuba umxelela ukuba ayinakubethwa, uya kuhlala nalo myalezo. Kufuneka siqine kodwa sithambe, ukuze singaziphikisi ngamazwi nezenzo zethu. Akukho kubetha okanye ukohlwaya, okanye baya kuwuqonda umyalezo ochaseneyo.
Ukuba ichasene, kwaye ngumntwana wakho obethwayo, ungamthuthuzela umntwana wakho kwaye umcacisele ngokwenzekileyo ukuyidlala. "Inkwenkwe ibifuna ithoyizi lakho yiyo loo nto yenze uvalo."
Kungenxa yokuba khumbula ... ukubetha kukuziphatha okuqhelekileyo, ngakumbi kubantwana abancinci, kodwa akufuneki sijonge kwelinye icala. Luxanduva lwethu ukubanika izixhobo ukuze bakwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo zabo ngokufanelekileyo.