Baphendula njani abazali kwiimvakalelo zabantwana

usapho olumameleyo olunomdla

Iimvakalelo zabantwana aziyongxaki okanye umceli mngeni... Balithuba lokunxibelelana nabantwana bakho kwaye ubafundise. Xa iimvakalelo zithe kratya, abantu badla ngokwenza izinto abangafane bazenze, kuze kwenzeke into efanayo nasebantwaneni. Nangona xa besebancinane kakhulu, oku kunokwenzeka imini eninzi ngenxa yokuba iimvakalelo zabo zinamandla ngalo lonke ixesha.

Ukuzilawula ngokweemvakalelo licandelo elikhulu lobukrelekrele beemvakalelo kwaye kukukwazi ukulawula amava kunye nokubonakaliswa kweemvakalelo. Ngokuziqhelanisa, abantwana baphucula amandla abo okuzilawula ngokweemvakalelo. Kwiminyaka emine ubudala, Uninzi lwabantwana luqala ukusebenzisa izicwangciso zokuphelisa ukuphazamiseka kwangaphandle. Ngamanye amazwi, bavala amehlo abo xa besoyika kwaye bavale iindlebe zabo xa besiva ingxolo enkulu.

Ayizukuba yiminyaka eyi-10 xa abantwana besoloko besebenzisa iindlela ezintsonkothileyo zokuzilawula ngokweemvakalelo. Ezi zicwangciso zinokwahlulwa zibe ziindidi ezimbini ezilula: ezo zizama ukusombulula ingxaki kunye nezo zizama ukunyamezela imvakalelo. Xa umntwana ekwazi ukwenza utshintsho ukulungisa iingxaki uya kubandakanyeka ukujongana nengxaki ebeyichongile ngaphambili. Xa kuqwalaselwa ukuba ingxaki ayinakusonjululwa, ngoko kuya kufuneka ukuba sebenzela iimvakalelo kunokufunda ukuzinyamezela nokulawula ixhala. 

Ezi zizicwangciso zobulumko beemvakalelo, ezibandakanya ulwazi, ukuqonda, kunye nokukwazi ukuvakalisa nokulawula iimvakalelo. Ngelixa ihlabathi ligxile kwimpumelelo kunye nokhuphiswano, imfundo yeemvakalelo (kunye nokuzilawula) ishiywe ecaleni.

Ukuzilawula, iqhekeza ngqondweni, ibaluleke kakhulu ekuqikeleleni impumelelo ebantwaneni kunye nempumelelo yabo yexesha elizayo. Abantwana abakwaziyo ukuthintela iimpembelelo (ezihlala ziqhutywa ziimvakalelo) kwaye banqande iziphazamiso bayakwazi ukubandakanyeka kwiindlela zokuziphatha ezingaphezulu kwaye bafezekise iinjongo zabo… Okoko nje bengazicinezeli iimvakalelo zabo, kodwa kunokuba baqonde kwaye bayazi indlela yokulawula.

imisebenzi yangaphakathi ehlotyeni

Zonke iimvakalelo zinenjongo

Inxalenye yokuqala yobukrelekrele beemvakalelo kukuqonda nokuqonda iimvakalelo. Kufuneka siziqonde kwaye sizamkele phambi kokuba silawule kwaye siziveze. Iimvakalelo azikho into ephazamisayo, kodwa yinxalenye yendaleko yomntu esebenza injongo. Nganye kwiimvakalelo zethu eziphambili ziye zavela ukuze zisebenze iinjongo ezahlukeneyo kwaye zikhuthaze ukuziphatha kwethu.

Abantwana abakhule bezazi iimvakalelo zabo baya kuba sempilweni, baqhube kakuhle esikolweni, baze bavisisane kakuhle nabahlobo. Usizi yimvakalelo eyodwa ekwazi ukusenza sibuyele umva, kokubini kwingcinga kunye nakwintshukumo yemoto. Oku kunokusivumela ithuba lokucamngca ngomthombo wokukhathazeka kwethu ngokweemvakalelo kwaye sijonge ngakumbi kwimvelaphi ukuze sisebenze kwisisombululo seemvakalelo.

Ngokwahlukileyo, Umsindo uyasikhawulezisa, uhlanganisa amandla amakhulu kunye nokuthumela igazi kwiindawo zethu. Nangona yayiyindaleko, oku kwasilungiselela umlo. Kumaxesha anamhlanje, ivumela amandla azinzileyo kumlo wendalo eyahlukileyo kunokuba indalo yasilungiselela yona. Umsindo usixelela ukuba amalungelo ethu agxothiwe kwaye uyasinceda ukuba sihlanganise ukuzikhusela kwizisongelo zexesha elizayo.

usapho olumameleyo olunomdla

Iimvakalelo zethu kufuneka zihlonitshwe kwaye zibonakaliswe. Oku kuquka iimvakalelo ezinzulu zabantwana bethu kwiimeko ezibonakala zingekho ngqiqweni. IAmerican Academy of Pediatrics yacebisa abazali ukuba bangasebenzisi ubugcisa njengendlela yokuthomalalisa okanye ukuthomalalisa iimvakalelo ezingakhiyo zabantwana. Ngokukodwa, bavakalise inkxalabo yokuba ukusebenzisa amajelo eendaba sisicwangciso sokuthomalalisa kwaye ukwenza oko kunokukhokelela kwiingxaki zokumisela umda okanye ukungakwazi kwabantwana ukuphuhlisa ukulawulwa kweemvakalelo zabo. Abantwana kufuneka bazive zonke iimvakalelo zabo kwaye bafunde ukuzinyamezela ukuze bakhulise ukuzeyisa kakuhle kunye nobukrelekrele beemvakalelo.


Indlela abazali abasabela ngayo kwiimvakalelo zabantwana babo

Ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo bubonakala buyinto exela impumelelo yabantu, yiyo loo nto kubaluleke kangaka ukusebenza kuyo ukusukela xa abantwana bebancinci kakhulu (abazali babe ngabokuqala ukuxhamla ukusukela oko ukuze bafundise abantwana ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo, baya kuqala babe ngabo. ngubani ekufuneka aqonde kwaye alawule iimvakalelo zakho). Ugqirha. UJohn gottman yahlolisisa indlela abazali abasabela ngayo kwiimvakalelo zabantwana babo, ekubeni oku kubalulekile ukuze ingqondo yeemvakalelo ikhule (okanye ingabi) ebantwaneni. UJohn Gottman wafumanisa ukuba abazali basabela kwiimvakalelo zabantwana ngeendlela ezine ezahlukeneyo. Iindlela ezi-4 zezi zilandelayo:

  • Zama ukuphelisa iimvakalelo. Xa abazali bezama ukuzijongela phantsi iimvakalelo zabantwana babo ngokusebenzisa iziphazamiso, baxelela abantwana babo ukuba iimvakalelo zabo azibalulekanga.
  • Ukungavumelani neemvakalelo. Ukungamkeleki kweemvakalelo ezingakhiyo ngokuqhelekileyo kwenziwa ngokohlwaywa kwaye umntwana usenokuziva engaqondwa kakuhle yaye ekhathazekile.
  • Abazali abazamkelayo iimvakalelo kodwa abazincedi. Abazali abazamkelayo iimvakalelo zabantwana babo kodwa bangabancedi ekucombululeni iingxaki, babakhokele, okanye babeke imida kwindlela yokuziphatha engafanelekanga.
  • Abazali abasebenza kwiimvakalelo zabantwana babo. Ukusebenza ngeemvakalelo zabantwana kubonisa indlela abazali abazixabisa ngayo iimvakalelo ezingakhiyo zabantwana babo, kodwa abanamonde ekuzivakaliseni. Basebenzisa amava angokweemvakalelo njengethuba lokufunda kuye wonke umntu, ukomeleza umanyano kunye nokunika isikhokelo esilungileyo kwiimvakalelo ngokuzithiya amagama kunye nokufuna isisombululo songquzulwano esifanelekileyo kwingxaki ekuthethwa ngayo.

imisebenzi nabantwana ebaleni

Konke oku kusinceda siqonde indlela abazali abasebenza ngayo iimvakalelo zabantwana babo baya kubakhulisa abantwana abasempilweni nabalungelelene ngakumbi ngokweemvakalelo nangokwasengqondweni.. Abazali abakukhathaleleyo ukusebenza kakuhle kwiimvakalelo zabantwana babo abayi kuba neemvakalelo zokuziva benetyala. ekubeni beya kwazi ukuba benza konke okusemandleni abo ukuze abantwana babo bakhule bezinzileyo ngokweemvakalelo baze ngaloo ndlela baphumelele.


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