Ukukhulisa abantwana akukho lula, kodwa ukufumana indlela yokufunda ehambelana neenjongo zakho kunye neqabane lakho nako kunokuba ngumceli mngeni. Abantwana badinga umama notata ukuze bakhule kakuhle. Bafuna abazali babo bavumelane ngesimbo sokubakhulisa ukuze bangadideki.
Abazali kufuneka bayazi le nto ukuze badibanise iinjongo zabo kwisitayile esingaguquguqukiyo sokuba ngumzali esizisa abantwana kwaye sibalungiselele ubomi. Ukwazi ukuba utata ngamnye kunye nomama ngamnye unembali yakhe, kufuneka bakhuliswe ngentlonipho kunye nokuhambelana.
Uhlobo lomama
Oomama bahlala besondele, nangona le ngoku iyinto ootata abaqala ukuyenza, ngethamsanqa. Ngamanye amaxesha akunakuphepheka ukuba umama azi ukuba zeziphi iimfuno ezisisiseko okanye iimvakalelo zosana olusandul 'ukuzalwa nangona usana olusandul' ukuzalwa lungakwazi ukuthetha. Ithuku lokuzalwa koomama livela kwindawo kwezi meko.
Oomama bathanda ukuthetha izinto ngakumbi kubantwana babo, kuba bahlala bethetha kakhulu kunamadoda. Oku kunokuzibonakalisa nokuba ngumzali apho umama anokunika amanye amagama kunye nencoko ebonisa ulindelo. Ngokucacileyo kwaye uthethe ngezihloko ezinxulumene noqeqesho.
Oomama (nootata) babeka iimfuno zabantwana babo ngaphezulu kwezabo, kubonakala ngathi kulungiselelwe ukuba bazincame ngenxa yabo ukusukela oko wafumanisa ukuba ukhulelwe.
Uhlobo lokuba ngumzali
Ngokwesiqhelo abazali bajolise ebantwaneni babo ekwenzeni izinto kwaye babambelele kwimithetho ngokungaguquguqukiyo. Banokugxila ngakumbi ekulungiseleleni abantwana babo kwihlabathi lokwenyani, nangona oku kwenziwa ngoomama. Ngethamsanqa, unxibelelwano lweemvakalelo abazali abanalo nabantwana babo luyakhula, into eyathi kumashumi eminyaka eyadlulayo yabonakala ngokungabikho kwayo.
Ootata abathethi kakhulu ngoomama kuba amadoda, ngokubanzi, asebenzisa amagama nolwimi ngaphantsi kwabafazi. Ngamanye amaxesha utata angabonakala eqinile kunomama, kodwa loo mandla enzelwe ukulungiselela abantwana bakhe ilizwe lokwenyani. Abazali badla ngokunyanzelisa iziphumo ngokukhawuleza kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ngokungxama… kufuneka bathethe izinto kamva.
Abazali bayazincama ngenxa yabantwana babo kwaye okwangoku bajolise ngakumbi kwiintsapho zabo, nangona besakufumana kunzima ukugxila kubantwana babo ngokukodwa. Into ethe chu ngokuthe ngcembe iyatshintsha njengabazali ixesha ngalinye bazi ngakumbi ngokubaluleka kwako ekukhuleni komntwana.
Iziphumo zokungadibanisi iindlela zokuba ngumzali
Bobabini ootata noomama banendima ebalulekileyo kubomi babantwana babo. Ngesi sizathu, iindima ezahlukeneyo kunye nezitayile kufuneka zidityaniswe nendlela edibeneyo yokuba ngumzali osebenzayo kuyo yonke imiba.
Ukuba iindlela zokuba ngumzali azidibananga, kunokubakho uninzi lweziphumo ezibi ekufuneka ziqwalaselwe:
- Abantwana banokuziva bedidekile okanye bengqubana nolindelo okanye imigaqo eyahlukeneyo enokubakho ekhaya ukuba abazali abavumelani.
- Xa abazali bebonakala bahluke kakhulu kumba wokukhulisa abantwana babo, abantwana banokusondela komnye okanye komnye kuxhomekeke ekubeni ngubani ofanelekileyo kubo ngalo naliphi na ixesha.
- Njengokuba abantwana bekhula kunokubakho ukungavisisani ekhaya ngenxa yokungazithembi okudluliswayo kwaye ukongeza, banokuphela benokudakumba okanye ulungelelwaniso lwabazali.
Yenza ukuba umzali usebenze
Ukufumana ibhalansi elungileyo kubuzali kubalulekile ukuze uphumelele. Ukulungelelanisa kunye nokuxuba kufuna ukucinga ngononophelo kunye nokuthatha amanyathelo kwicala labazali. Ukuze intsalela isebenze kakuhle, kuya kufuneka ukuba ucinge ngokukhulisa abantwana kwaye uthathele ingqalelo la manqaku alandelayo:
- Xoxani. Abazali abaneendlela ezahlukileyo zokuba ngumzali kuya kufuneka bafumane indawo efanayo kunye nokuba bobabini kanjani. Unxibelelwano olulungileyo, ukuthetha ngokwahluka, emva koko ukusebenzisana kunye nokuyekisa kuya kunceda ufumane umxube olungileyo wokuba ngumzali.
- Xhasana. Abazali kufuneka baxhasane ekukhuliseni abantwana. Abantwana banokufunda ngokukhawuleza indlela yokuxabanisa omnye komnye kunye nokuvula ungquzulwano phakathi kwabo. Zama ukungaphikisani phambi kwabantwana bakho neqabane lakho malunga nemiba yobuzali. Ukuba omnye wenu kufuneka avumele omnye umzali akhokele kwimeko ethile, makwenzeke oko kwaye nithethe ngayo kamva.
- Lumkela ukuba ngumzali okungaqhelekanga. Ngamaxesha apho abazali baneendlela ezahlukeneyo, yenza isigqibo kwangethuba ukuvumela umzali othintela kakhulu ukuba aphumelele. Abantwana baya kuzama ukukukhohlisa kwaye baye koyena mzali unoxolelwaniso kuqala ...
- Cacisa malunga namaxabiso aphambili. Xa bobabini abazali befuna ukufundisa kunye nokomeleza amaxabiso afanayo, iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuba ngumzali zisebenza kakuhle. Cinga ngononophelo malunga nenkcazo yemishini yosapho ebandakanya amaxabiso aphambili awongwayo lusapho lwakho. Ke, njengoko nizala kunye, ninokudibana kwizinto ezibalulekileyo kwaye nichonge eyona ndlela yokufumana amaxabiso agutyungelwe kuyo nayiphi na imeko. "Okuhle kakhulu" kuya kukunceda ufumane ukugxila okufanelekileyo.
- Funa uncedo xa kukho imfuneko. Ukuba ufumanisa ukungqubana rhoqo malunga nezimbo zabazali, licebo elihle ukuthetha kunyangi osenyongweni okanye kumhlobo ukuze ubone izinto ngolunye uhlobo. Unokuthathela ingqalelo ukuya kwisikolo sokuba ngumzali kunye neqabane lakho ukuze nibe nokucinga malunga nendlela eninokuba ngcono ngayo kwaye nibe ngcono ekujonganeni neenkxalabo ezithile zosapho ngale ndlela.
- Ukusebenza kunye ukutshatisa iindlela zokuba ngumzali kuthatha umsebenzi omninzi kunye nendlela ethile. Kodwa ifuthe elihle kubantwana bakho ngokuzama ukusebenza njengesihlobo sinokumangalisa ngokwenene kwaye kufaneleke wonke umsebenzi. Beka abantwana phambili, qaphela ukuba izimbo ezahlukileyo azimbi, kodwa zahlukile, kwaye unxibelelane kunye njengabazali, kwaye niyakufumanisa ngale ndlela, ukuba eli shishini lilonke lokukhulisa abantwana yinkqubo enomvuzo ngakumbi kunokuba ibonakala ininzi amaxesha exhala.