Abazali abaninzi bakholelwa ukuba ingxaki ye uqeqesho lwangasese kubantwana babo babophe bonke, ubuncinane nini sele bekhonze iminyaka emibini. Kodwa imeko yosapho inokunikwa xa bebanga “kutheni intombi yabo izimanzisa ngabom”.
Kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba oku kwenzeke, ekubeni kukho abantwana abathi, ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukahlukeneyo, batyhubele umzuzu oneemvakalelo ngokwentelekiso kwaye bayenza ngaphandle kunye neziganeko ezifana nesi. Ukufumanisa ukuba yintoni isizathu semeko enjalo, siya kongeza uluhlu lweenkcukacha ezinokuthi zihlolwe ukufikelela kwisisombululo.
Intombi yam ichama ngabom
Nayiphi na inkwenkwe okanye intombazana efikelelayo ubudala be-3 ukuya kwi-4 iminyaka kufuneka alawule i-sphincters yakhe ngokukhuselekileyo ngokupheleleyo. Ukuba kunjalo, kodwa ngokukhawuleza kukho ukubuyisela okuncinci, kuya kufuneka ukuba khangela isizathu kutheni kwenzeka.
Kwenzeka ukuba abantwana abaninzi sele beyazi indlela yokubuza xa kufuneka baye kwindlu yangasese, kodwa kukho iziqendu apho balahlekelwa yinto ethile ngamaxesha athile. Bade babe neminyaka emi-5 okanye emi-6 ubudala asinakuthi kuxa bengasafuni uncedo lwabazali ukuya kwindlu yangasese.
Kwiziqendu ezifana nezo zentombi echama ngabom, kuya kuba yimfuneko ukuhlalutya ukuba uye wanomzuzwana wokucaphuka kwaye uhlobo lwakhe lokuqhankqalaza lube lolu. Abantwana phambi komlo okanye umsindo kunye xa bengayifumani indlela yabo badala oku kuvuza kuncinci ukuze kutsalwe umdla.
Ayithethi ukubuya umva ekulahleni idiaper kodwa khangela loo msindo naloo mbonakaliso yengqalelo. Ukongeza ekuyijongeni njengempendulo, ukuba bayahamba nayo, Baza kuzama kwakhona kwaye kwakhona.
Sijongene nempendulo enjalo, simele funa ukuzola. Abantwana balindele enye i-tantrum kubazali, kodwa ukuba siyazi yenza ngokuzolileyo kwaye ukwenza ngathi akukho nto yenzekileyo kuya kuba yinto esiza kuyiphelisa entlokweni yakho.
Injongo ayikokunika ukubaluleka kwenyani, kodwa inayo (siya kugcina oku ngaphakathi). Eyona ndlela ilungileyo yokwenza xa isenzeka ungathethi kwaye ungacaphuki. Ukuba siyabathethisa kwaye babone ukuba umsindo wethu unoburhalarhume, baya kuhlala bezama ukufumana ezi ntlobo zeempendulo ukufezekisa injongo yabo: fumana ingqalelo yethu.
Yintoni enokwenziwa xa kujongwa olu hlobo lokuziphatha?
Kufuneka unakekele intombazana ukuba itshintshe iimpahla zayo. Menze abandakanyeke ekucoceni kwakho kwaye ngaphandle kokucaphuka, mazise ukuba akusiyo impendulo engcono, kodwa akukho nto yenzekayo (injongo ayikuko ukukunika ukubaluleka). Nangona kunjalo, Akunyanzelekanga ukuba unikezele emva komsindo wakho, Eyona nto bendiyifuna ekuqaleni. Kubekho nje unqumamo olucaphukisayo ekufuneka lusonjululwe ngaphandle kwamahla-ndinyuka.
Izizathu zokuba kutheni abantwana bengafuni ukulawula i-sphincters yabo
Kukho izizathu ezininzi zengqondo ezitsala abantwana ukuba bagcine le ndlela yokuziphatha. Akufunekanga sikholelwe ukuba yingxaki yomzimba kwaye xa sijongana nesimo sengqondo esinjalo kufuneka sibe nokuqonda kunye neemvakalelo zabo.
Abantwana abaninzi uzive uxinzelelo lweemvakalelo ukuba bangakwazi ukulawula nokuphendula ngezimo zengqondo ezinjengokuzikroba. Ukuxhalaba okanye ukungonwabi ngokwasengqondweni oko kuhamba ngeentloko zabo, banokuba zizizathu.
Ngenxa yezizathu eziqondakalayo, kukho abantwana abanjalo bayalibala ukuba kufuneka baye kwigumbi lokuhlambela. Badlala kwaye bayayonwabisa kwaye xa isinyi sabo sigcwele ababinalo ixesha lokuya ngasese, kwaye bengaqondanga bayabaleka.
Abantwana abafanele bangxoliswe yeyona ibalulekileyo. Ingxoxo nomntwana isoloko ibalulekile, nokuba incinci kangakanani na. Nokuba akakuqondi, zama ukumenza ukuba akwenze oko, kodwa kufuneka ufumane isisombululo esanelisayo kuni nobabini kwaye oku akwenzeki. Musa naphantsi kwazo naziphi na iimeko ukuba ube nzima ngesifundo, musa ukuba phithi phithi kwaye ngaphezu kwako konke ungamthobi okanye umthelekise nabanye abantwana. Olu hlobo lokungakhululeki okanye ucalucalulo lwenza le meko ibe mbi kakhulu, ide ifikelele yehlisa isidima somntwana.