Ubuzali obugunyazisiweyo budunyiswa njengenye yeendlela zokuba ngumzali ezisebenzayo, kodwa inyani yeyokuba ukuze isebenze kufanele ukuba kubekho iimpazamo ezithile. Ukuba ucinga ukuba umzali ogunyazisiweyo lolona khetho lufanelekileyo lokufundisa abantwana bakho, yazi kakuhle ukuba kuyintoni ukusebenzisa ngaphandle kokulimaza ukukhula kweemvakalelo zabantwana bakho okanye ukwaphula imeko elungileyo ekhaya. Ukufezekisa oku kuya kufuneka uyazi ukukhuliswa ngokwentando yesininzi.
Bonke abazali bafuna ukulingana ekhaya, ukuze ubomi babo bonke, kubandakanya nobabantwana, buhambe ngendlela elungileyo. Ukuba ngumzali wentando yesininzi, kwenziwe kakuhle, kugxile koku. Kodwa kufuneka ulumke, kuba ukuba wenza ukuba ngumzali ogunyazisiweyo othathwe ngokugqithileyo, ungafezekisa okwahlukileyo kwaye abantwana bakhule bengonwabanga, bengazithembanga kwaye benesidima.
Ukukhula ngentando yesininzi
Ukuba ngumzali wentando yesininzi kuboniswa ngokulindelwa okuphezulu kunye nokwamkelwa okuhle ngokweemvakalelo. Imida ecacileyo kunye noqeqesho olufanelekileyo luyabandakanywa kwaye kwangaxeshanye, ubushushu nenkxaso zinikezelwa ebantwaneni, ngentlonipho. Umntwana nabazali akufuneki bafumane igunya. Endaweni yoko, Kubuzali obunobuzali obunabazali, abazali bafuna ukuba nesandla esiphakamileyo ngalo lonke ixesha Ngaphandle kokuhlonipha iimvakalelo zabantwana babo, bakholelwa ekubeni 'uku-odola nokuyalela' yeyona ndlela ilungileyo.
Kwakungo-1960 ugqirha wengqondo ophucukileyo uDiana Baumrind wafunda unxibelelwano lomzali nomzali kwiintsapho ezinabantwana abasaqala isikolo ukumisela ezona ndlela ziqhelekileyo nezisebenzayo zokuba ngumzali. Uphando lwakhe lokuba nguvulindlela luchaze iindlela ezintathu eziphambili, xa kuthelekiswa umzali wentando yesininzi kunye nabo bangamagunya okanye abavumayo.
Abazali abagunyazisayo bafuna kakhulu kodwa banikezela ngenkxaso encinci yeemvakalelo; bafuna ukuthotyelwa, kwaye bagxeka kabukhali xa abantwana babo bengazifezekisi izinto abazilindeleyo. Abazali abavumayo banobubele kwaye banothando, kodwa ababeki mida yaneleyo kwaye banokuba madolw 'anzima ukuseta imigaqo okanye ukuthobela ukohlwaya. Umntwana ushiywe ngemida engalindelekanga kunye nolindelo kwaye ugqibela ngokulawula indlela aziphethe ngayo.
Abazali bayayazi indlela yokubeka imida ecacileyo
Kwelinye icala, xa inkqubo yedemokhrasi ekukhuliseni iqhutywa, abazali bayayazi indlela yokubeka imida ebantwaneni babo ngokucacileyo, kodwa bayathatha inxaxheba ekugcineni ubudlelwane obuhle nabantwana babo besazi ukuba bangabantu abazimeleyo, nababo izinto ezingenamsebenzi. Abazali beDemokhrasi abavumeli abantwana ukuba bangaziphathi kakuhle, Kuya kufuneka bathobele imigaqo kwaye babe nolindelo lokwenyani.
Aba bazali banengqiqo, banobubele, banothando kwaye bayathandana. Bacacisa imigaqo neziphumo zokungayilandeli ngezizathu, behlonipha abantwana babo ngalo lonke ixesha. Banokude babuze uluvo lwabantwana babo ngamanye amaxesha, kwaye bayayazi indlela yokwahlula into ekunokuxoxwa ngayo kwinto engekhoyo.
Le ndlela yokuba ngumzali ifanelekile kuba inefuthe elihle kuphuhliso lwabantwana kwaye ubudlelwane phakathi kwabazali nabantwana buyagcinwa.
Iimpawu zabazali bolawulo lwentando yesininzi
Abazali beDemokhrasi bahlala benempawu ezithile ngokufanayo:
- Babeka imida ecacileyo
- Banolindelo lokwenene kubantwana babo
- Bayayazi indlela yokuxoxisana bethathela ingqalelo iimfuno zabo bonke kunye nokulunga kwabantwana babo
- Banothando kwaye bayabathanda abantwana babo
- Bayamamela kwaye bathethe ngokukhululekileyo nabantwana babo
- Banika abantwana ithuba lokuthetha
- Bayazi ukuba abantwana babo baneengcinga zabo
- Bakhuthaza ukucinga okunzulu kunye nezenzo ezilungileyo
- Zibhetyebhetye kwaye zinengqiqo
- Abantwana babo banokubathemba
- Iziphumo ezisebenzayo zihlala zilungile kwaye ngamanye amaxesha zide zivume
Izibonelelo zohlobo lwentando yesininzi lokuba ngumzali
Le ndlela yokuba ngumzali inezibonelelo ezintle ekukhuleni kwabantwana. Zininzi izifundo ezibonisa ukuba abantwana bakhula ngendlela esempilweni ukuba abazali babo banentando yesininzi. Abantwana abanabazali abalawulwa ngentando yesininzi bonwabile, banobuchule ngakumbi, banobudlelwane obungcono kwezentlalo, baziwa kakhulu naphina apho baya khona, banamabanga angcono esikolweni, ukuzithemba okungcono kunye nengcinga elungileyo yesiqu sabo. Ukongeza, akunakulindeleka ukuba bakhulise iingxaki zeemvakalelo okanye zokuziphatha.
Bavame ukulawula kakuhle iimvakalelo kunye nokuzithemba kwabo bafunde izakhono ezintsha kwaye baziqhelanise neemeko ezahlukeneyo kunye neemeko. Bahlala bezithembile, benovelwano kwaye bengabantu abanolwazi ngakumbi.
Ukuze onwabele izibonelelo ezizeleyo zolu hlobo lokuba ngumzali, abazali kuya kufuneka babe ngumzekelo omhle. Ngale ndlela, abantwana baya kufunda ezona zakhono zibalulekileyo kwaye bazive bonwabile malunga nabo kunye nendalo. Ukongeza, ulungelelwaniso lwemida, ubhetyebhetye kunye nothando olufunyenweyo luya kudala ubudlelwane obukhuselekileyo phakathi kwabazali nabantwana.
Faka isicelo kwisitayile somzali wentando yesininzi
Ukuba ukuza kuthi ga ngoku usebenzise isitayile sokungabi nolawulo ngentando yesininzi kwaye uthembele ngakumbi kwimodeli yokugunyazisa okanye yokuvumela, lifikile ixesha lokuba uyitshintshe loo nto, ngenxa yakho nangenxa yabantwana bakho. Kodwa ungazi njani ukuba ukhulisa ngokwentando yesininzi? Kuya kufuneka ubengumntu ofudumeleyo nothandekayo ebantwaneni bakho, kodwa kwangaxeshanye kufuneka ubambe imithetho. ngokulindelwe ngokwenene malunga nokuziphatha kunye nobuchule babantwana bakho. Ukongeza, kuya kufuneka ungqinelane kwaye uhambelane nemithetho kunye neziphumo ozibekayo. Abantwana bakho, ngelixa ubhetyebhetye ngexesha elifanelekileyo. Kuvakala kulula, kodwa yeyona nto inzima kwaye yeyona ndlela isebenzayo yokuba ngumzali.
Kancinci kancinci, kuya kufuneka ukonyuse ukuzimela kwabantwana bakho ukuze bafumane inkululeko kwaye bakwazi ukuzimela kwizenzo zabo, besazi indlela abafanele baziphathe ngayo ngalo lonke ixesha. Kodwa kuya kufuneka ngokuthe chu kwaye ikushiye uzimele kuphela xa ubonakalisa umthamo owaneleyo. ukulawula iimeko ezithile.
Kwangelo xesha, kubalulekile ukuba ubandakanyeke kubomi babantwana bakho ukuze bazi ukuba ukhathalele yonke into eyenzekayo kubo. Ukuze ube ngumzali oqondayo, wazi ukuba banjani abantwana bakho okanye bafuna ntoni, kufuneka ubazi, wazi ukuba bunjani ubomi babo ekhaya nasezikolweni, benza ntoni emva kwemisebenzi yesikolo, njl. Thetha nomntwana wakho, zama ukuphucula unxibelelwano lwakho. Umntwana wakho uya kuyazi ukuba unokuhlala ekuthemba, engoyiki.
Kubonakala ngathi isitayile sobuzali, sinomdla kakhulu kuba sithetha ubukrelekrele beemvakalelo kwicala labazali, le nto iyinto ebavumela ukuba babeke umda ekuziphatheni kwabantwana babo, ngaphandle kokonakalisa ukuthembeka komntwana.
Ndiyakholelwa ekubeni bonke abazali bangalandela le modeli singaba noluntu olufanelekileyo.