Akukho mzali uthanda abantwana bakhe ukuba baxoke malunga nalo, xa befumaneke ebuxokini bathambekele ekubeni nomsindo kwaye bacaphuke. Into abazali abangayaziyo kukuba olu tshintsho luza kubangela ukuba abantwana babhluthe ngokweemvakalelo kwaye bangabathembi abazali babo. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukwazi nokuqonda ukuba kutheni abantwana bexoka ngaphambi kokuphendula ngandlela thile.
Mhlawumbi ungathanda ukucinga ukuba umntwana wakho uyakuhlala ethetha inyani (ubuncinci kuwe), kodwa ungakhohliswa, kuba inyani kukuba ukuxoka yinto esetyenziswa ngabo bonke abantwana ukuba bazive benolawulo okanye ubuncinci, jonga ukuba bangabaleka na ngokuthintela ezinye iziphumo. Ukuxoka kuyinxalenye yendalo yokukhula komntwana. kwaye kwiimeko ezininzi, abantwana boyisa le ndlela yokuziphatha bebodwa.
Ingxaki ibiya kubakho ukuba endaweni yokoyisa inqanaba lobuxoki, abantwana basebenzise ukuxoka njengendlela eqhelekileyo yokunxibelelana nabanye. Kodwa ngaphambi kokuqhubeka nesi sihloko, kuya kufuneka uqonde ukuba kutheni abantwana besebenzisa ubuxoki.
Kutheni abantwana bexoka?
Into yokuqala ekufuneka uyithathele ingqalelo yiminyaka yomntwana, kuba iphakathi kweminyaka emi-6 ukuya kwe-8 ubudala xa amakhwenkwe namantombazana eqala ukwahlula umhlaba omnandi kwinyani. Abantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka emi-6 abahluleli kakuhle phakathi kwamaphupha kunye nenyani kwaye 'ubuxoki' ababusebenzisayo babonisa kuphela ukucinga kwabo kunye nehlabathi lokuyila kwengqondo yabo.
Umntwana oneminyaka emi-4 unokuxoka ukuphepha ukungena engxakini okanye ukufumana into ayifunayo, kwaye oku kuyinto eqhelekileyo kubudala bakhe kwaye kuluncedo nakwindlela akhula ngayo. Nangona njengabazali, kuya kufuneka niyenze icace into yokuba ubuxoki abwamkelekanga.
Ezinye izizathu ezinokubangela ukuba abantwana baxoke zezi: umdlalo wentelekelelo, ukoyika ukohlwaywa, ukunqwenela ukubonakala ulungile phambi kwabahlobo, kuphephe ukwenza into ongafuni kuyenza, ungafuni ukuphoxa abazali okanye abanye abantu abadala, akonwabanga ngobomi bakho okanye ufuna nje ukutsala umdla.
Kufuneka wenze ntoni xa abantwana bakho bexoka
Xa kuziwa ekuxokeni, kunyanzelekile ukuba ube nesandla sasekhohlo ukuze abantwana bazive bezithembile ngokwaneleyo ukuze bakwazi ukuthetha nawe ngaso nasiphi na isihloko ngaphandle koloyiko lokuziphindezela.
Khangela ingcambu yobuxoki
Cinga malunga nokuba kutheni abantwana bakho benokuba bayaxoka, mhlawumbi ufuna ukukukhohlisa ukuba ungohlwayi? Ukuba umntwana wakho usebenzisa ingcinga yakhe Mncede ahlule phakathi kwenyani kunye neentsomi ngaphandle kokutyhafisa ubuchule bakhe.
Ukuba umzekelo ubanga ukuba ngumhlobo wakhe wentelekelelo owaphula le nto yokudlala, mqinisekise ukuba akazukungena engxakini ukuba uyakuxelela ngokwenzekileyo, kwaye makube njalo. Emva koko chaza ukuba kufuneka aqonde ukuba ngelixa ngamanye amaxesha kunokuba lula ukukholelwa ukuba omnye umntu angenza into angafuni kuyivuma, ukuthetha inyani kuhlala kunceda ekwenzeni izinto zibengcono.
Sukwenza abantwana bakho bazive ngathi abanakuza kuwe
Ukuba umntwana wakho unexhala lokuba ukuxelela inyani kuzokucaphukisa, ngekhe bakutshele nokuba sekutheni. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukunceda umntwana wakho azive ekhuselekile kwaye exhaswa ngalo lonke ixesha, ukuba uyazi ukuba ukuthetha nawe kunokwenzeka kwaye ayizukubangela ukuba aphulukane nothando kunye nothando olungenamiqathango. Ukuba ubasongela abantwana bakho ngokuxoka, kunqabile ukuba bakuxelele inyani.
Sukusebenzisa isohlwayo, soloko usebenzisa iziphumo
Ngaba uyazi umahluko? Ukohlwaya kuvela kwingqumbo, umsindo, nengqumbo, ngelixa iziphumo zijolise ekulungiseni isimilo esibi ngokubandakanya umntwana. Umzekelo, ukuba umntwana wakho uxoka ngokwenza umsebenzi wasekhaya, thetha naye malunga nokubaluleka kokujongana nezenzo zakhe; isebenza ukuza nomsebenzi ofanelekileyo wokulungisa impazamo, njengokwenza imisebenzi eyongezelelekileyo yobudala ekhaya.
Musa ukumbiza ngokuba ulixoki unyana wakho
Ukuba ubiza umntwana wakho ngamaxoki uyambhalela kwaye oku kuya kuba nefuthe elihlala lihleli kwindlela umntwana azijonga ngayo. Ukuba umbiza ngokuba ulixoki, uyakucinga ukuba unyanisile kwaye uzakwenza ngokufanelekileyo. Ukuba awufuni abe lixoki, musa ukumbiza ngolo hlobo.
Cacisa malunga nolindelo kwaye ube sengqiqweni
Xelela umntwana wakho ukuba ukuxoka akwamkelekanga kwaye awufuni buxoki ekhayeni lakho. Mxelele ukuba makathini. Inyaniso ibalulekile njengayo nayiphi na indlela yokuziphatha elindeleke kuye, njengokuthetha ngentlonipho okanye ukungalwi nabantakwenu.
Vavanya indlela oziphethe ngayo xa umntwana wakho ekuxelela inyani kwaye ube ngumzekelo omhle
Ngaba uhlala ubhenela ekuxokeni xa ufuna ukuphepha imeko okanye ukufumana into oyifunayo? Umzekelo, ukuba umntwana wakho uva uxelela ummelwane ukuba awunokondla ikati yakhe xa usendleleni kuba unesalamane esigulayo ngelixa inyani kukuba awuyithandi ngasese loo kati kwaye awunayo Isalamane esigulayo nokuba ngubani oza kumgcina, Umntwana wakho uya kufumana umyalezo wokuba abantu abadala bayaxoka xa kufanelekile.
Thetha ngeziphumo zokuxoka
Kufuneka ubacacisele abantwana bakho ukuba ukuxoka kunokonakalisa njani ukuthembana okukhoyo phakathi kwabantu abathandanayo. Cela umntwana wakho ukuba acinge ukuba angaziva njani xa uxoke ngento ethile. Ndingakuphinda ndikuthembe kwixesha elizayo? Ngaba iya kuchaphazela ukuzithemba kwakho? Oku kubonakalisa kunokukunceda uqonde iziphumo zobuxoki. Unokusebenza ngamabali abantwana ayilelwe ubudala bomntwana wakho kwaye usebenze ubuxoki ngamaxabiso adluliswayo ngamabali.
Ukuba ngaphandle kwako konke oku, ufumanise ukuba umntwana wakho ulala kakhulu kwaye rhoqo, nokuba uthathe lonke icebiso ekuxoxwe ngalo apha, kuyakufuneka ukuba uthethe nogqirha wabantwana bakho ukuba akuthumele kumntwana obambeleyo wezempilo ukuvavanya indlela yokuziphatha kwaye ube nakho ukufumana iingcebiso ezithile ngakumbi kuthathelwa ingqalelo imeko ethile yosapho lwakho kunye nomntwana wakho.