Kutheni abantwana bengayeki ukucela izinto?

Ukuba abantwana bangayeki ukucela izinto Yinto eqhelekileyo kwaye eqhelekileyo. Ngamanye amaxesha bacela ukwenza izinto ezifana nokudlala kwi-iPad okanye ukuba banokwenza ikhekhe. Asinakusoloko sivumela izicelo zabo, mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuba ingelilo ixesha okanye kuba ingelilo ixesha. Kwakhona kufuneka bafunde ukuba abasoloko benikwa oko bakufunayo okanye abakucelayo.

Enyanisweni, sinokuthatha ithuba lomzuzu ngamnye xa usicela into ethile kukunceda uthethe kakuhle kwaye ulawule iimvakalelo zakho, nokuba yiyiphi impendulo yokugqibela.

Ukuphendula izicelo zakho...

La macebiso aya kuba luncedo xa umntwana wakho ecela into, nokuba uceba ukuthi ewe okanye hayi.

1. Misela impendulo yakho yokuqala kwindlela umntwana wakho abuza ngayo

Ukuba umntwana wakho ubuza ngembeko nangembeko, ukuvuyisana naye ngokuba nesimilo esihle. Oku kuthumela umyalezo wokuba unikele ingqalelo xa ethetha nawe ngendlela efanelekileyo, naxa ungazukumnika loo nto ayicelayo.

Ukuba unyana wakho uyakucaphukisa, uyakhalaza, ufuna okanye uyakugrogrisaMxelele ukuba xa engakuceli kakuhle, awuzomosha nexesha lokummamela. Umzekelo, unokuthi, "Marc, gcina ilizwi lakho, kungenjalo andikuva kakuhle" okanye "Ungandibuza ngendlela ephucukileyo, nceda?"

2. Phulaphula

Jonga kwi ubuza ntoni kuwe encinci. Bonisa umntwana wakho ukuba umvile kwaye uyamqonda, oku kwenza kube lula kuye ukwamkela impendulo yokugqibela. Kwakhona kusenokukunceda ukubonakalisa uvelwano oluncinane, njengokuthi, ‘Owu, ndiyabona ukuba ungayithanda le nto. ipholile kangakanani Makhe sibone ukuba sinokukwenza nini na.

3. Musa ukuphendula ngokukhawuleza, thatha umoya, ucinge uze uphendule

Unqumamo olufutshane luyasinceda cinga ngale nto ibuzwayo. Ukongeza, sithumela umncinci umbono wokuba sicamngca ngesi siphakamiso. Zibuze enoba kufuneka uthi hayi, okanye unokuthi ewe. Yaye ukuba asingoewe okanye uhayi ovakalayo, zibuze ukuba ungakwazi ukuthethathethana naye.

Amaxesha amaninzi sithi hayi kumkhwa kwaye sinokuthi ewengaphandle kokuba yingxaki nakubani na. Ngamanye amaxesha sinethuba lokuthethathethana nabantwana bethu kwaye sifikelele kwisisombululo esisisebenzelayo sobabini.

Ngapha koko, ukuba uqinile kwisigqibo sakho kwaye unceda ukuqonda isizathu sesi sigqibo, kuyanceda umntwana wakho ukuba afunde indlela yokucela izinto kwaye ngamanye amaxesha izinto ziyafezekiswa kwaye ngamanye amaxesha akunjalo.

Xa kungcono ukuthi hayi

Ukuthi hayi kunokuba nzima; emva kwayo yonke into sifuna ukubona abantwana bethu bonwabile kwaye kubonakala ngathi ukuba ubanika into abayifunayo xa beyicela, ibenza bonwabe ngaloo mzuzu. Kodwa asinakusoloko sibanika oko bakucelayo kwaye ukubanika rhoqo akubanikezi ulonwabo, yingcamango ephosakeleyo. Ndikushiya ezinye iindlela zokuthi hayi ngaphandle kokwenza nzima ubomi bakho:

• Nika isizathu sakho kuqala. Ukuba uye wagqiba kwelokuba hayi, kufuneka uqale uchaze ukuba kutheni. Oku kubanceda baqonde isigqibo. Ukuba uziva edanile nangona umchazile isizathu, kusenokwenzeka ukuba akasiqondi ngokupheleleyo. Umzekelo wengcaciso iya kuba, 'Asinaxesha lokukhwela umjikelo wolonwabo okwangoku. Ukuba akunjalo, asizukufika kwindlu yootatomkhulu. Siza kuyenza kwixesha elizayo.'
• Hlala nesigqibo sakho. Ukuba uyayitshintsha ingqondo yakho, umntwana wakho uya kufunda ukuba asingoewe oqinisekileyo okanye uhayi oqinisekileyo kwaye kubalulekile ukuqhubeka nokunyanzelisa. Ukuba uyanikezela xa umntwana wakho eziphatha kakubi, uya kufunda ukuba le yenye yeendlela zokufumana oko akufunayo.
• mnike enye into, Ewe unga. Umzekelo, 'Andinakukuthenga oku kuwe kuba kubiza kakhulu kwaye asikwazi kukutya ezivenkileni. Masigoduke siyokwenza ipizza kunye, eyona siyithanda kakhulu'.
• Nika umntwana wakho ingxelo eyakhayo. Ukuba umntwana wakho akavumi xa ephendula, mncome kakhulu. Umzekelo, 'Ndiyithanda kakhulu indlela othe 'kulungile' xa ndisithi hayi'. Okanye 'Ibimnandi indlela esiye sayilungisa ngayo kunye.'

Kwazi uku Ukuthatha uhayi xa uphendula sisakhono esibalulekileyo sentlalo kunye neemvakalelo. Yinxalenye yokunceda abantwana bafunde indlela yokusingatha ukuphoxeka.

Iyanciphisa imfuneko yokuthi hayi

Enye yeendlela ezilungileyo zokunceda umntwana wakho afunde ukujongana nokuxelelwa ukuba akakho sukuyithetha kakhulu. Xa ugcina uhayi ngezigqibo ezibaluleke ngokwenene, umntwana wakho uya kuzithatha nzulu ngakumbi.

Sinokukuphepha nini ukuba “hayi”?:

• Misela imigaqo ethile. Ngokomzekelo, ngaphambi kokuba uye kuthenga, thetha nomntwana wakho ngesizathu sokuba uye kuthenga. Mxelele ukuba ulindele ntoni kuye kunye nemithetho yokucela izinto. Oku kunokunciphisa inani lamaxesha ekufuneka uthi hayi. Umzekelo, 'Siza kusela xa sifika ekhaya emva kokuthenga', okanye 'Siza kuthenga izinto ezi-4 esizidingayo nangenxa yokuba sinemali eyaneleyo yoko kuluhlu'.
• Yithi ewe, Ewe unga. Umzekelo, 'Kulungile, uMarta unokuza ukuphuma kwesikolo ukuba utata wakhe uyavuma'.
• Thetha nomntwana wakho kunokuba uthi hayi, kodwa kuphela ukuba nawe ukulungele ukuthethathethana nokulalanisa. Umzekelo, 'Asinakuya epakini namhlanje, kodwa singaya ngomso'.

Abantwana bafunda ukuqikelela oko abazali babo baya kuthi ewe kuko, esekelwe kumava exesha elidluleyo. Kuthetha ukuba baye bacenga ngakumbi, kwaye oko kuthetha ukuba kufuneka ubeke ingqalelo kwaye ungaguquguquki xa usithi ewe.

Ukucela izinto kwiminyaka eyahlukeneyo

Abantwana abancinane badla ngokuthetha ngendlela abayifunayo ngeendlela ezilula. Umzekelo, banokwenza ingxolo okanye bakhombise into abayifunayo. Kodwa xa usithi hayi, amaxesha amaninzi abayazi indlela yokulawula ukuphoxeka kwaloo mpendulo baze bayibonise ngomsindo. Oku kwenzeka ngenxa yokuba abantwana abancinci basaphuhlisa izakhono zolwimi nokuzilawula. Kuya kufuneka ubathobe kwaye ubenze baqonde uhayi.

Ngexesha lokuhamba isikolo, abantwana banezakhono zolwimi ezithe kratya abanokuzisebenzisa ukuthethathethana nokulalanisa xa becela izinto. Ukususela kwiminyaka esibhozo bafanele bakwazi ukuhambisa isizathu sokuba bafuna into ethile. Bamele ukuba bafundile ukuba xa sisithi hayi kungenxa yesizathu, yaye akuyomfuneko ukuba loo nto ibakhathaze.