I-Pygmalion Effect (isiprofeto esizizalisekisayo) ngokuqhelekileyo senzeka kubomi babantu abaninzi, kwaye abaninzi babo abaqondi. Iyenzeka nakubomi babantwana ... kwaye kubonakala ngathi abazali abaqapheli ukuba iziprofeto ezizizalisekisayo zinokubenzakalisa njani abantwana babo. Ukulindela abantu abadala kunokubangela imiphumo emibi ekukhuleni kwabantwana, kwixesha elifutshane neliphakathi okanye elide.
Mhlawumbi awuzange uyeke ukucinga ngendlela izinto ozilindeleyo kubantwana bakho ezinokubachaphazela ngayo kokubini okulungileyo nokubi. Kwiimeko ezininzi ezi zinto zilindelweyo azikho zingqondweni ngoko ke mhlawumbi lixesha lokuzijonga ngendlela eyahlukileyo.
Ukuba unomntwana ongazange aphumelele kwimathematika kwaye ubusoloko umcacisela ukuba akanazo iimpawu ezininzi kule nkalo, uya kuba nefuthe ngokuthe ngqo kwindlela umntwana wakho aqhuba ngayo kwizibalo okanye kuyo nayiphi na enye indawo— . . I-Pygmalion Effect ziziprofeto ezizalisekisayo, Xa ucinga into kwaye le, iyenzeka. Oku kusenokuba yingenelo okanye kungabi yingenelo kubantwana bakho, kodwa ngokwenene oku kubachaphazela njani abantwana?
Imiphumo emibi
Abazali banokungabazi ubunzulu bokuxelela abantwana babo izinto ezinje:
- Uneentloni kakhulu kwaye yiyo loo nto ungenabahlobo
- Usisidenge, awuyiqondi njani loo nto?
- Thula, unzima
- Ungayenzi loo nto, uyinkwenkwe embi kakhulu.
- Ufumana amanqaku amabi ngenxa yokuba uyonqena
Ngamagama aphawulwe ngaphakathi kwabantwana kwaye ayalela ukuba bafanele babe njani, kaloku abantu abadala babaxelela ngokucacileyo ukuba banjani... nokuba abanjalo. Xa sithetha ngolu hlobo sithetha ukuba ngezi ziprofeto zizizalisayo, umntwana obizwa ngokuba ‘mbi’ uya kuziphatha ngolo hlobo kuba abona bantu bamthanda kakhulu kweli hlabathi bamxelela ukuba unjalo: abazali bakhe okanye abantu abadala ababhekisela kuye.
Oko kucingwayo noko kuthethwayo kubachaphazela ngokuthe ngqo abantwana, nangona maxa wambi abazali bengaqondi ngokupheleleyo ukuba bayabagweba yaye babhala amagama abantwana babo yonke imihla. Xa oku kusenzeka, indlela yokuziphatha yabantwana iyalungiswa kwaye kwakhona, Ushiya ibala elimnyama entliziyweni yakho elinokuthi libe buhlungu iminyaka emininzi.
Xa abazali babantwana okanye abantu abadala bezalathiso bevakalisa ulindelo okanye ucalucalulo ngexesha lonxibelelwano nabantwana ngaphandle kokuthathela ingqalelo iimvakalelo ezinokuthi zivelise kubo. Ezo mvakalelo ziya kuhlala zivelisa ukuziphatha enokuthi ibe yelungileyo okanye embi ngokuxhomekeke kwimvakalelo evuswe ngaphakathi komntwana. Ukuba ubiza umntwana ngokuba 'nzima', 'sisimumu', 'utyebile'... ucinga ukuba iimvakalelo eziveliswayo ziya kuba zintle? Ngokuchanekileyo, nathi asikholelwa, kuba siyiloo nto sicinga ngayo.
Nikela ingqalelo kwindlela esizithetha ngayo
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba abantu abadala baqalise ukukuqonda oku nokuba singanikeli nje ingqalelo koko sikuthethayo kodwa nendlela esikuthetha ngayo. Nokuba unabantwana abancinci okanye abafikisayo, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ulinganise indlela ozichaza ngayo xa uthetha nabo. kwaye ufuna ukuhambisa izimvo zakho, ngakumbi xa ufuna ukuthetha ngezinto ezichaphazela indlela yakho oyiyo, yokwenza okanye yokucinga.
Abantwana nabafikisayo bakhule ngokupheleleyo kwaye basesichengeni kakhulu kokusingqongileyo kwaye oko bakuxelelwayo kubaphembelela ngokuthe ngqo, kangangokuba kube yinxalenye yobuntu babo. Amagama abawathethayo anokubumba okanye abangele ukuzithemba kwabo okanye ukuzithemba kwabo. Amandla amagama kunye nokulindela ekukhuleni kwabantwana kunamandla ngakumbi kunokuba unokucinga, ngakumbi kula manqanaba apho abantwana bekhula ngokupheleleyo ngokwasengqondweni nasemzimbeni.
Ukubaluleka kokusingqongileyo kuphuhliso
Asinakulibala ukuba umntu uqalisa ukuphuhlisa ingcamango yakhe esekelwe kwindlela abanye abacinga ngayo ngaye, nokuba yenziwa ngamandla ebuntwaneni ukususela ngelo xesha xa abantwana bekhula yaye besengozini ngakumbi kwiingcamango zabanye. Umntwana uya kwenza uluvo lwakhe ngokuxhomekeke kuvavanyo alufumana kubazali babo okanye kubantu abadala ababhekisela kubo.
Ukuba ukususela ebuntwaneni ugqalwa njengomntu ongenakho ukuzenzela izinto, awuyi kuziva unyanzelekile ukwenza umgudu wokufezekisa oko. Ukuba uxelelwa ukuba ungumntwana ongalunganga, kutheni ufanele uziphathe kakuhle xa ufumana ingqalelo ngokuba 'mbi'? Oku akuthethi ukuba umntwana akakwazi ukwenza izinto kakuhle, kodwa ufunde ukukholelwa ukuba akanakukwazi ukuzenza, yaye akuyomfuneko ukuba azame nokuzama.
Uyisebenzisa njani iPygmalion Effect ukuze kuxhamle abantwana bakho
Kodwa ayizizo zonke izinto ezingalunganga nge-Pygmalion Effect kwaye unokuyisebenzisa ukunceda abantwana bakho. Kunokuba ucinge ukuba umntwana wakho akanakukwazi ukwenza okuthile, mncede aziphucule. Menze afumanise amandla akhe kunye nesakhono sakhe endaweni yokuba umfundise inxalenye engalunganga yesakhono sakhe. Qinisekisa ukuba banokuzithemba ngakumbi kwaye uya kubona indlela ukusebenza kwabo kunye nokuzithemba kwabo kuya kwanda.
Khumbula ukuba ayikokuthetha izinto ezingeyonyani okanye ukumxokisa ngezakhono zakhe ngokuvakalisa ukuba uyakwazi ukwenza izinto ezingaphezu koko anokukwenza ngokwenene (oku kuya kubangela udano). kunye nokuphucula ukomeleza umzamo wokuziphucula. Kuya kufuneka unikele ingqalelo kwinkqubela yakhe ukuze akwazi ukubona izinto aziphumezileyo nokuba uyakwazi ukuziphucula ngokwakhe ukuba ngokwenene ufuna ukwenjenjalo yaye wenza umgudu - kuyo nayiphi na indawo, kokubini ngokweemvakalelo nangokwemfundo.
Ukuba uyakholelwa kumntwana wakho, naye uya kukholelwa kuye. Kwaye izinto onokuthi uzifezekise kunye nendlela onokuthi uyiphucule ngayo indlela oziphatha ngayo inokuba yinto engakholelekiyo. Mamkele kwaye umhlonele umntwana wakho njengoko enjalo, wamkele amathuba akhe kodwa kwanemida yakhe.