Xa kuziwa emtshatweni, kufuneka uthembele ekuthinteleni iingxaki zonxibelelwano okanye ubudlelwane ngoku okanye kwikamva. Senza oko kuba ubudlelwane bunyukele kwinqanaba apho kukho isiseko esiqinileyo sothando, ukuzibophelela, ukuhleka, ukonwaba, kunye nokuthembana okuya kuhlala ngonaphakade. Kodwa kuthekani ukuba kukho umona kulwalamano?
Ukuba ufuna ukoyisa umona kubudlelwane bakho, kufuneka uzithembe ngokupheleleyo kwaye ngayo yonke into onayo. Awuzange utshate umntu ongamthembiyo, ke yisebenzise ukuze uziqinisekise xa kuvela imeko kwixesha elizayo apho uthandabuza khona umtshato wakho okanye ube nomona ngenxa yokungazithembi kwakho.
Ngaba uyokuya kusela nabahlobo bakho? Endaweni yokumamela ukungazithembi kwakho okukwenza ubuze ukuba uthetha nabani okanye utywala kangakanani, njalo njalo, khumbula ukuba uyamthemba. Nokuba uyiphinda ngokuvakalayo uthi: “Ndiyamthemba; ngekhe indenzakalise. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, kutheni kufuneka ube kubudlelwane ukuba akukho kuthembana?
Xa sitshata, siqala ukushiya elidlulileyo ngasemva. Siya kwinqanaba elitsha ebomini: akakuxeleli okanye iingxowa zakho ezilishumi zemithwalo yeemvakalelo ukuba kukho into engalunganga, ke ungoyiswa yile nto.
Sukuhendeka ukuba ujonge ifowuni yakhe xa eshawa okanye uchithe iiyure ujonga ii-imeyile zakhe. Unokulinganisa ukuba uyenzile namanye amaqabane, kodwa ayingawo amanye amaqabane akho; yindoda yakho, kwaye Akayikuthanda ukuphuma eshaweni ukuze akufumane ungxamile ufunda iitekisi zakhe.
Obo ayibobudlelwane obusempilweni, ke musa ukuzibeka kwimeko apho ukwenza izinto ezinjalo eziyinxalenye yesiqhelo kubudlelwane bakho. Yintoni onokuyifundisa abantwana bakho? Ayisiyonto iqhelekileyo, ke xa uziva ngathi uyangenelela, Zibuze: ngaba umntu omdala angayenza kubudlelwane obuphilileyo? Kwiimeko ezininzi, impendulo nguhayi.