Ukuba ngumama yindlela ende, ezele ngamahla ndinyuka, yamaxesha amnandi kodwa, nawokuhlupheka kunye neemeko ezinzima. Ngamanye amaxesha, Ukuba ngumama kunokuba ngowona msebenzi unzima ukwenza. Kuba ukongeza kwindima ebalulekileyo ebomini, umama akayeki ukuba ngumntu ozimeleyo. Into ethi ngamanye amaxesha, igqunywe yeyona ndima iphambili yile kuba ngumama.
Zininzi izinto ezinokubangela khokelela umama kubudlelwane obunzima kunye nomnye wabantwana bakhe. Izizathu azipheli, isenokungabi yinto engaphaya kokungabikho konxibelelwano. Nangona kunjalo, kunzima ukwazi ukuba wenzeni xa unyana engafuni kwazi malunga nonina. Ingakumbi kubantu abajikelezileyo, abahlupheka ngale meko bengazi kakuhle ukuba unganceda njani ukuyiphucula.
Ukuqhekeka kweyunithi yosapho, oyena nobangela uphambili wokwaliwa ngakumama
Xa kukho ukuwohloka kweyunithi yosapho, ngokungathandabuzekiyo abantwana ngabona bantu bachaphazeleka kakhulu. Abaziqondi izizathu, akukho ukuqonda kwabo baqonde ukuba abazali babo abanakuhlala kunye. Oku kubangela ukuba kwizihlandlo ezininzi, abantwana bajonge unobangela wale meko, into ewela kumama ngokubanzi. Ukuba umntwana uphakathi kotshintsho ngokufikisa, kukho imvukelo ejolise kubantu abadala, ngakumbi kwabona basesichengeni.
Oku kwenzeka kuba kwiimeko ezininzi, abantwana bayaqhubeka nokuhlala nomama. Oko kukuthi, imigaqo, uxanduva, izithintelo kunye nayo yonke into enento yokwenza noxanduva, ivela kumama ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba elikhulu. Abantwana bajonge umntu onetyala kule meko intsha kwaye bengaziqondi izizathu zokwahlukana, banokugxeka omnye wabazali, kule meko ngumama.
Kwenziwa ntoni xa unyana engafuni kwazi nto ngonina
Ngaphambi kokuba ufumane isisombululo kule meko inzima, kubalulekile ukuba ufumane unobangela wayo. Iyafuneka Fumanisa ukuba kutheni unyana engafuni kwazi ngonina, ukuze enze okuthile ngokulandelelana. Ngenxa yoku, kubalulekile ukuba usapho lusebenze njengeqela, umntu othile, ngakumbi omnye umzali, onokuthi athathe uxanduva lokuthetha nomntwana kunye nokufumana unobangela wengxaki.
Xa imeko inzima kakhulu okanye iqhubeka kakhulu ngexesha, kuyakufuneka ukuba ube noncedo lweengcali. Kwiimeko ezininzi kuye kufuneke ukufuna uncedo lomntu wangaphandle, ngaphandle kwendalo yosapho kwaye ukulungele ukujongana nolu hlobo lweengxaki zosapho. Unyango losapho lunokunceda ekuphuculeni unxibelelwano kwaye lubonelele ngezixhobo eziyimfuneko ukusombulula ezo ngxaki zivela ngokudibana kwaye kunzima ukuzilawula.
Ukuba umntwana ukwiminyaka esemthethweni, imeko inokuba nzima ngakumbi ukujongana nayo, kuba usenokungafuni ukuthatha inxaxheba kunyango losapho ngengcali yokusebenza kwengqondo ekhethekileyo. Kubalulekile kule meko ukuba ube nolamlo losapho, ufumane indlela yokuncokola, ubeke iingxaki etafileni kwaye ufune isisombululo kunye.
Omakwenziwe njengomama
Ukuba umntwana wakho akafuni kwazi nto ngawe kubuhlungu kakhulu, kuba ngumama kunokuba yinto enzima ukoyisa. Ke ngoko, ukuba le yimeko yakho, ungalibali ukuba kufuneka uzikhathalele, kufuneka ube noncedo lweengcali kukunceda uqonde kwaye ulawule le meko. Nokuba siyintoni na isizathu esibangele le meko, kubalulekile ukuba womelele ukuze ukwazi ukujongana nayo.
Zama ukuthetha nomntwana wakho, uthintele iingxoxo ngaphandle kwetune okanye ungcikivo. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba umntwana wakho ubandezeleka ngendlela ekunzima ukuyiqonda. Zama ukuzibeka endaweni yakhe, uzame ukukuvulela kwaye ukwazi ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo zakhe kwaye yintoni emkhokeleyo ukuba athathe isigqibo sokumka kuwe. Ingathatha ixesha kwaye ungafumani mpendulo ubuyikhangela okokuqala. Musa ukunikezela, musa ukuvala umnyango woxolelwaniso kwaye ngaphezu kwako konke, musa ukuyeka ukwazisa unyana wakho ukuba nantoni na eyenzekayo, unokuhlala ethembele kunina.
Molo, inzima, intombi yam kuye kwafuneka iyiphose kwintombam encinci xa inezinyeliso ezingaka kum, intombi yam ibisoloko iziphethe iminyaka ngathi indibona ndiphumle okanye ndonwabile, ndibethwe yinton, okanye kwimeko yentsholongwane ye-corona ethe yanda kugculelo njengoko uzakundibulala ukuba uyayifumana intsholongwane, njl. Sele kudlule iinyanga ezintathu ukusukela ngala mini, phambi kwalomini wandixelela "uzobulibala ubuso bam" weza kwiveki ephelileyo ezokunxiba egumbini lakhe ndaye ndathatha ithuba lokumxelela ukuba uzokwenzani. ngobusuku obuhle…. Uye wandiphendula, ndizakudlula apho bangandigxothi khona, ebenezithuko kwaye ndiyavuma ukuba ndizibeke kubude bakhe, impazamo yam kodwa iyandigxotha ngaphandle kweebhokisi zam, eze kundincwina engalweni okanye andibethe engalweni xa ndifuna ukuthetha naye endikhwaza ukuba ndiyeke yena, uzotya kwaye atye isidlo sangokuhlwa egumbini lakhe okanye angathethi nam kwaye ukuba uyenzile, yayikukuthintela kwaye ndaphinda ndathi makangathethi nam kanjalo, kufuneka futhi ukuba andifuni kumbona Ukunyuka kwam kwempixano, ndizolile ngoluhlobo, kukho ukuphumla kodwa kunento endiyiphosileyo kwaye khange ikwenze kube lula kum ukwazi ukuba kutheni. kunjalo ... le meko iinyanga ezili-9 ezidlulileyo nkqu nasemaphupheni. Intombazana yam encinci indixelela ukuba sizolile kunendlela ebendingakhange ndithathe isigqibo sokumgxotha ukuba uyenzile kwaye andikhange ndiphikise kuba imeko ibingaphaya kokunganyamezeleki .. ndenze njani ??? Andazi nokuba mandivuyisane naye ngomhla wakhe wokuzalwa, ndiziva ingoyena mntu mandundu, andiziva ndingumama olungileyo kwaye andifuni ukuba lixhoba, kodwa ndicinga ukuba ndiyasilele kwinto yokuba ngumama. Inyaniso isilele, yaphukile kwaye yadideka yaphazamiseka ndicinga ukuba intombi yam ilungile kwimeko yayo entsha, ikunye neqabane layo kwaye injalo nosapho lwayo, kwaye ndonwabile ngayo, ndikhetha ukuba abe lapho bafuna naye kwaye sinoxolo, apho intombi yam iqaphele ukuba ukhululekile kunasendlini yam. Kulungile ndigqibile, emva kwemini.
Molo, ndinentombazana eneminyaka eli-18 ubudala, kwaye ayifuni nokundibona okanye nantoni na, ndicacisile izizathu zokwamkelwa komntwana kodwa akukho nto inokuyenza iye yanengxaki ezininzi, kodwa akafuni kubona umama wam Abantakwethu ababini, kwaye andazi ukuba mandithini., uthi k umshiye yedwa, yile nto ndiyenzayo, yintoni enye enokwenziwa? Enkosi
Molo, andikaboni, thetha, intombi yam eyi-7 yeminyaka ndiqhawule umtshato notata wakhe kwaye ukusukela ngoko ndizamile ukumbona, ukunxibelelana kwaye akukho nto.
Ngomhla okhethekileyo ndiyafa yintlungu.
Kwaye iimpendulo? Kutheni ndikwimeko efanayo ... .. enkosi
Molweni, ndinentombazana eneminyaka engama-39, ndina-64. Nguye kuphela umntwana wabazali abahlukene. Ulumke kakhulu nge-IQ ngaphezulu komndilili / Wayeka ukuthetha nam iminyaka emi-5. Asinabani na kusapho, uneqabane, andinalo, indlela aphikisayo ngayo sisazinzulu esinengqondo, esinenkosi. Uwutshabalalisile umphefumlo wam kodwa ndisanethemba lokuba ngenye imini ndiyakubonakalisa. Ngaphandle kokuthetha, ndenze yonke into ukufumana ingqalelo yabo ekwenzeni iileta zokucela ukujongana nam, kwakungekho tyala. Ubenze ubomi bakhe nosapho lomyeni wakhe kwaye ndiyazilahla. Kubuhlungu kakhulu
Ndiqhawule umtshato kwaye bendihleli kule meko inzima iminyaka eyi-6 ndinabantwana bam ababini. Ndiyahlupheka umzimba nomphefumlo kwaye namhlanje impilo yam ichaphazele konke oku. Umbuzo wam ovulekileyo kubo bonke ngulo: kutheni sithetha ngokushiywa kwabazali ebantwaneni babo? Kodwa ke ndiyaqala ukubona ukushiywa kwabantwana bethetha….
Kwaye apha ndibone ukuba ayindim ndedwa owenzekayo kum ...
Thixo wam, kunzima kanjani ukubandezeleka ngokushiywa ngabantwana bethu.
Ndohlukene nabantwana bam abana 4 years bengandithethisi. Ndihamba kwiintlungu kangangoko ndinako. Ndandifuna ukuthatha ubomi bam. Kodwa ndaqonda ukuba ayisosisombululo. Ndingathanda ukwenza iqela le-wapp ... okanye ezinye iindlela zokunxibelelana kunye nokuxhasana kwiintlungu. Ndisuka eBuenos Aires. Ajentina
Ndicinga ukuba akukho mntu unokuyiqonda into enje, ndiyenzile introspection kakhulu, asikho isizathu esibambekayo sokuba intombi yam ngoku itshatile kwaye nosana indigxothe ebomini bayo, ndibe ngumama olungileyo, ndihleli kunye. yena nanini na endidinga, Ngexesha lokukhulelwa nomntwana, yonke into bendiyibeka ecaleni, ndisebenza ebusuku kwaye ukuba ebendidinga bendingenabuthongo, qha uyathetha, yonke into ebendiyithetha bububhanxa, ndilungele yonke into. kwiinyanga ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo bendihlutshwa yi-low back pain and all were complaints, ukuba awundincedi ukuba umakhulu umbi, ndalala iinyanga ezintathu ndingakwazi nokuhamba ndindodwa ekhaya, akazange eze nokuzisa. ndasela iglass yamanzi, kwafika ukungabikho kwembeko kwagqibela ukulahlwa ngokupheleleyo, ngoku hayi andimboni nomzukulwana wam, bangumakhulu omncinci, ndineminyaka eyi-57, andiqondi nto, apho unyana wam. wongeza, una 27years, akabonakali ekhaya xa efika mihla le, uyawola alungiselele i snack, enye ihug ndikushiyele impahla uvase, soze ndiyiqonde ukuba yenzeke njani lento kwaye ndiyakholwa. okanye andizukwazi ukuxolela intlungu engaka
Iintlungu azinasiphelo kwaye ubukrakra buyoyikeka xa abantwana bam bengandihoyi, ndiziva ndisetyenziswa kwaye ndilahliwe. Umntu wenza konke okusemandleni ukubakhulisa kwaye emva koko bashiye ikhaya belungile, besempilweni kunye nezifundo kunye nezixhobo zokuqala ubomi babo. Bandicacisela ukuba kungenxa yoqhawulo-mtshato kwiminyaka eyadlulayo kwaye andinayo intsapho yokundixhasa (abazali bam basweleka, andinabantwana basekhaya kwaye utata akazange ayihoye indlela abakhuliswe ngayo kunye neendleko), ndaqhubeka ndedwa njengoko ndinako kodwa. bandibona ndisesichengeni kwaye ndilihlwempu (ndingumphambukeli kwaye andikwazi ukuthetha kakuhle isiJamani, ngaphandle koko, ndaphuma kwindawo ehlala etyotyombeni). Uziva eneentloni ukundazisa emntwini kwaye yonke into endiyithetha kubo, ngamazwi akhe, isuka kwisidenge esidala esingazi nto. Ndaphila ndedwa kwaye ndandisazi ukuba ndiza kuphelela ndedwa, kodwa andizange ndicinge nakwelona phupha lam libi kakhulu ukuba ndiza kugwetywa ukuba ndithule ngokupheleleyo kwaye ndingabi nelungelo lokuzibonakalisa kubomi babo obutsha. .
Ndiyasebenza kwaye ndiyafunda, xa bendibuza ngosapho lwam… Ndiye ndaxoka ukuze ndingaphenduli okanye ndingalili, ndisuka nje ndithi ndindedwa. Akukho ntuthuzelo.
Ndingena kwintlungu yabo bonke oomama abadlulayo kwindelelo yabantwana babo kuba ndiyasokola ngoku, inzima iwukrazula umphefumlo wam njengoba ikhomba kum ngaphezu kwamadoda onke, iyandigweba nesigqibo endisithathayo. ukumka kuyise wabo Kum lelona xesha lilungileyo lokuba babone ukuxhatshazwa kwengqondo okungaka le ndoda yandenza yona, isikhalo, kodwa ixabiso lentiyo yonyana wam ngakum liyamangalisa ukuba ndicela uThixo kuphela andiphe amandla kwaye jongana nentliziyo yakhe, ukuba Kunzima ukubona indlela ubawo okwazi ngayo ukwahlukanisa abantwana bakhe kunina ngenxa yenkalipho kwaye engazi indlela yokwahlula ukuba into enye ziingxaki zesibini kwaye zahluke kakhulu ukuba abantwana bahloniphe abazali babo.
Iintombi zam zemka kunyaka onesiqingatha ezidlulileyo zingandivalelisanga. Ngexesha lokuvalelwa kwakukho iingxabano, kodwa kungekhona njengento embi kakhulu. Bakwiminyaka esemthethweni, omdala uthatha intambo ebulalayo kumncinci, balwa ngokuqhubekayo. Kuthe kusenjalo ndabona utshintsho, bebevana kakhulu, ndonwabile nangona bebendishiya ecaleni bengandihloniphi. Ngenye imini bemkile, intombazana yayeka ukuthwalwa ngumdala, kodwa ekubeni yayiqhuba kakuhle, nangona ekuqaleni yayimbi, yahlala nayo. Utata oye waxhatshazwa ubomi bakhe bonke uye wanceda ukuba kube lula ukuba bahlukane nam. Kodwa zange baphele tu, abafuni nokuthetha nam bayandidelela. Ndiyafunga ndilwela ukufa ngenxa yabo. Ndashiyeka ndingenanto, bandicima nombane, ndachitha yonke into endandinayo ekuxhaseni usapho kwezonyanga sasivalelwe. Ndiyagula kwaye ndindedwa kulo mhlaba. Ndilahlekelwe yinto yonke, andisena family. Ndilahliwe tu, bendiphilela bona qha iintlungu zinzima andikwazi ukuphila. Ndiye ndazama ukuthetha nomdala usebenza isteps ezimbini ukusuka kwam wandincama wandijonga ngathi ndingenwe ngumoya, undigezele phambi kwabahamba nabo. Ingathi andiyonto yakhe. Ndibanike ubomi bam bonke, bebebubomi bam kwaye andinakubafumana. Andizange ndiphinde ndiyibone intombazana encinci. Ingathi ndingcwatywe ndingekafi. Ndiyafunga ngokunyanisekileyo andiyazi into embi endayenza kubo inzondo engaka, nabo abandixeleli. Ndiyagula, andikhuselekanga, ndedwa, andinanto kwaye bendingasoze ndiyicinge yonke le nto. Ndifuna nje ukuthetha nabo kodwa andibazi nokuba bahlala phi, bakwidolophu elandelayo kwaye inkulu kwaye, nokuba bendisazi… ndiyaqikelela ukuba bekungayi kwenza mahluko. Ndihlala ndedwa ndifuna ukuzibulala kuba andinakukwazi ukuyinyamezela le ntlungu. Ndimithi, kodwa obu buthukuthezi nokungabi nanto kuyanditshonisa. Kukho iintsuku apho ndingakwazi ukuphakama. Ngemini bahambayo yandityhala intombazana, ndafuna ukuvalelisa, ndamanga ndawa, ndafikelwa lixhala bandishiya ndilele phantsi. Ndifuna ukufa.
Kwiminyaka eyi-10 edlulileyo ndohlukana, namhlanje abantwana bam baneminyaka engama-21 kunye ne-17 ubudala ngokulandelelana. Andizange ndibabone iminyaka emi-5 kwaye amaxesha ambalwa abaphendula kwiinzame ezingapheliyo zokuthetha nabo kukundingcikiva. Esi sisiphumo esifunyenweyo emva kokuphathwa kakubi nokufundiswa nguyise, endifungela ukuba soze ayeke de abantwana bam bandicaphukele. Kwaye ewe mhlekazi! Kufuneka uvuyisane naye….wenze umsebenzi weshumi! Unanamhla oku akakaqapheli ukuba ngokundivisa kabuhlungu uyenza ebantwaneni bakhe, ubathathele kum nakusapho lwam lonke, ubahlutha ubuhlobo nonina, ootatomkhulu, oomalume, nabazala. ...
Ukwenza izinto zibe mbi ngakumbi, akahlali nabo, loo msebenzi wawunika unina, ngoko wayeza kuba nexesha lokuphila ubomi bakhe! Yimbali ende endinokuthi ndiyibhale imiqulu eliqela.
Kwabo bazifumana bekwimeko efanayo okanye efanayo… kuba ayingombandela wesini, kodwa owabantu. Funa uncedo kwingcali elungileyo, khathalela impilo yakho yengqondo, yomelela kwaye ulinde ixesha lokuhlengahlengisa izinto. Baza kuba ngabantu abadala, baphile amava, baqole kwaye bazenzele izigqibo zabo, ngubani owaziyo ukuba ngomso baya kunkqonkqoza kumnyango wethu kwaye siya kuba neengalo ezivulekileyo ukuze sikwazi ukubawola kakhulu. Ukusuka apha ndithumela amandla amaninzi kunye nethemba kwabo bayifunayo!