Ngokwesiqhelo sidibanisa ukukhulelwa kunye nomzuzu okhethekileyo kwaye mhle, kodwa oku akunjalo ngalo lonke ixesha. Ukukhulelwa kubutshintsha ubomi bakho, kwaye kwimeko ka ukukhulelwa kolutsha ngakumbi nangoku. Bayayidinga inkxaso yethu kunakuqala, nokuba awazi ukuba wenzeni ngoku. Namhlanje sithetha ngento ekufuneka uyenzile ukuba intombi yakho ikhulelwe ebusheni okanye ukuba unyana wakho uza kuba ngutata.
Kuyinyani eyenzeka kakhulu namhlanje, nangolwazi kunye namanyathelo okhoyo kuwe kukhuseleko lwezesondo. Amawaka alishumi elivisayo akhulelweyo kwaye kuya kufuneka ajongane nobunzima obuninzi. Emotweni kukothuka kabuhlungu, kokubini kulutsha nakwintsapho. Kuqhelekile ukuziva iimvakalelo ezininzi zisusela kwintlungu, umsindo, umsindo, ukothuka, ukudana, ukuphoxeka kunye nokuziva unetyala. Akukho mzali ufuna oko kubantwana bakhe, kodwa asinakukhanyela ukuba yenzekile kwaye iyenzeka. Iimvakalelo zakho zisemthethweni kwaye ziqhelekile, kuyimfuneko ukuba usebenze kuzo ukuze uqhubekise okwenzekileyo. Ungathetha nomntu omthembileyo okanye ingcali ekuncedayo woyise kwaye ulawule ezi mvakalelo.
Intombi yakho okanye unyana wakho naye unengxaki yovakalelo olunamandla njengoloyiko, ukothuka, ixhala okanye noxinzelelo. Ilizwe lakhe liyaxengaxenga, kwaye iinkxalabo zakhe ezilambathayo zomntu ofikisayo oqhelekileyo zibaluleke kakhulu kwaye zingabutshintsha ubomi bakhe ngonaphakade. Ukuba nolwazi kuya kusenza sijongane ngcono nale meko, ngoku intombi okanye unyana wakho ukufuna ngakumbi kunangaphambili. Unxibelelwano oluhle phakathi kwakho luya kuba luncedo ekwenzeni esona sigqibo silungileyo kuye, ngaphandle kokunyanzelisa ukuthanda kwakho kokukhulelwa kolutsha.
Ukuba ngunyana wakho oza kuba ngutata, uya kuba neemvakalelo ezinamandla kakhulu ezimoyisayo. Ufuna nabazali bakho kula maxesha okudideka ukuze ukwazi ukuthetha kwaye uncike kubo. Kubalulekile ukuba bamkele uxanduva lwabo, ngaphandle kokubanyanzela ukuba batshate.
Zeziphi iindlela onokukhetha kuzo intombi yethu efikisayo xa ikhulelwe?
- Qhubeka nokukhulelwa. Kule ndlela uqhubeka nokukhulelwa kwaye uhlala nosana. Kuya kuba lula ukuhlalutya yintoni imingeni kunye noxanduva, kwaye zeziphi izinto ezikuxhasayo ukuze uqhubeke nokufunda. Mse kwagqirha ngokukhawuleza ukuze afumane uncedo olufunekayo ngaphambi kokubeleka.
- Nika umntwana ukuba amkelwe. Olunye ukhetho olufumanekayo, apho umntwana anikezelwa ukwamkelwa kolunye usapho. Phanda iintlobo zokwamkelwa komntwana ngumntu ongamzelanga ibengowakhe, kwilizwe lakho kunye neziphumo zeemvakalelo ezinokuthi zibandakanye intombi yakho.
- Ukuphelisa ukukhulelwa. Enye inketho kukuphelisa ukukhulelwa ukuze ingaqhubeki. Kwakhona Kufuneka sihlalutye iindleko zeemvakalelo ezinokuthi zibandakanyeke dlula kwintombi yakho ukuze ukhuphe isisu. Olu khetho lukwafuna ukwazi kwangaphambili, kwaye uninzi lwabakwishumi elivisayo bayakufihla ukukhulelwa kwabo kubazali babo ngenxa yokoyika ukubaphoxa. Kwizixeko ezininzi kukho imibutho ekhethekileyo yokuxhasa abantu basetyhini kule meko, apho bakunika lonke ulwazi oludingayo ukuze uthathe isigqibo esingathathi cala.
Utshintsho kubomi bentombi yakho ekhulelweyo
Utshintsho lokuqala luya kuqala kwindlela yokuphila ngalo lonke ixesha lokukhulelwa. Akayi kuphila ubomi bokwishumi elivisayo, kuba akazokwazi ukwenza itheko, ukutshaya, okanye ukusela, kungasathethwa ke ngeziyobisi. Kuya kufuneka uphephe i-caffeine egqithisileyo, jonga ukutya kwakho, kwaye ufumane ukuphumla okuninzi.
Las utyelelo lwaphambi kokubeleka Ziya kuphawulwa ngugqirha, apho uza kuvavanyelwa umchamo negazi, ukuvavanywa kwezifo ezidluliselwa ngeentlobano zesini kwaye ubone ukuba ngaba uzifumene kwizifo ezifana nemasisi, irubella okanye uqwilikana.
Ngokwesigqibo omawuthathe malunga nosana amathandabuzo ayokwahluka. Ukuba uyaqhubeka nokukhulelwa ngubani ozakumgcina umntwana? Kuzofuneka ayeke isikolo? Ngaba utata uza kuthatha inxaxheba kubomi bosana? Ngubani oza kukhathalela umntwana ngokwezezimali? Kubalulekile ukuba uzinzise unganceda kangakanani zombini ngokwezoqoqosho nangokhathalelo. Ukugqiba isikolo kubalulekile kumsebenzi wakho wexesha elizayo, ukuze ukwazi ukufikelela kwimisebenzi engcono, kwaye ube nekamva elingcono.
Kuba khumbula… kubalulekile ukuba intombi okanye unyana wakho uyive inkxaso yakho kwaye ungumntu abanokuya kuye.