underling
Kukho abazali abangafuni ukohlwaya abantwana babo kuba becinga ukuba ayilunganga loo nto, nokuba ayubafundisi kwaye ayiyondlela efanelekileyo yokuziphatha, kwaye oku kuyinyani! Isohlwayo asikhokeleli ndawo. Nangona kuhlala kukho u "kodwa" kule. Kuyinyani ukuba ukohlwaya ayiyongcamango ilungileyo kodwa abantwana kufuneka bafunde ukuba kukho iziphumo ngezenzo zabo.
Isohlwayo asiyongcamango ilungileyo kuba ihlala inento yokwenza nokunyanzelisa ukuthanda komntu omdala xa umntwana enze into ethathwa ingafanelekanga, kodwa akukho nto ixoxwayo okanye ibonakalisiweyo nomntwana. Isohlwayo sikhangeleka ngathi sisebenza kuphela ekuphatheni umsindo wabantu abadala kwaye kwabancinci sivelisa ingqumbo kunye nokuthintela imvakalelo. Kuko konke oku, isohlwayo siyakuhlala singumbono ombi.
Endaweni yoko, iziphumo ziyafuneka ekukhuliseni abantwana. Iziphumo zifundisa abantwana ukuba bayakwazi ukuqonda okungahambanga kakuhle kwaye bafune izisombululo kunye nabantu abadala ukuze kungenzeki okufanayo kwikamva. Abantwana "banamandla" okwenza isigqibo sokwenza okulungileyo endaweni yento engalunganga. Abantu abadala balindele kwaye babalumkisa ukuba yeyiphi eyona ndlela yokuziphatha okanye eyona imbi, yeyiphi imigaqo kunye nemimiselo, kwaye ziziphi iziphumo zokophula imithetho. Umntwana ukhetha eyona ndlela ifanelekileyo kuye ngalo lonke ixesha kwaye ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokophula imithetho, uya kuyazi ukuba uya kuba neziphumo ezibi ngokwenza njalo.
Ngokuziva amandla esigqibo, umntwana akasayi kubakho mfuneko yokutsala umdla wabazali, kuba baya kuziva bekhuselekile kwaye bekhuselekile phantsi kwemithetho. Uyakuva ukuba abazali bakho balawula kwaye ke yonke into ihamba kakuhle. Xa oku kuqondwa ngabantu abadala kunye nabantwana, yonke into iyatshintsha ibe ngcono ekhaya.