Ngamanye amaxesha abantwana babetha, bakrwempe, okanye balume abazali babo okanye abo babakhathaleleyo. Injongo yayo ayikokwenzakalisa kodwa kukubonisa ukungoneliseki kwakho ngandlela thile. Bancinci kakhulu kwaye abanakukwazi ukuyichaza ngamazwi into eyenzekayo kubo.
Rhoqo Le meko iyabothusa abazali abangasiqondiyo isizathu sokuba umntwana wabo abethe ukuba zange bambetha.
Kutheni iintsana zibetha?
Njengoko iintsana zikhula ziyazi ngakumbi ngayo yonke into ebangqongileyo, kodwa kunjalo abafundanga ukulawula iimvakalelo zabo. Umsindo, ukukhungatheka, kunye novuyo lunokubagubungela ngokulula, kwaye i-smack yinto eqhelekileyo kakhulu. Ukubetha, ukuluma okanye ukukrwempa zizijekulo eziyinxalenye yesiqhelo sophuhliso kunye nenkqubo yokufunda.
Inokubakho kangakanani injongo?
Iintsana ezingaphantsi kweenyanga ezili-12 azinikeli nantoni na ebalulekileyo kwizithonga okanye ekulumeni. Ngaphezu kwako konke, xa singafumani ndawo apho olu hlobo logonyamelo lunokuvela khona ukuba awuzange ulubone. Eneneni iintsana kule minyaka ukuba benza kuba yinxalenye yeentshukumo zakhe ezigwenxa, apho kungekho njongo ndlongo. Njengoko bengafikelelanga kunxibelelwano lolwimi, mhlawumbi eyona ndlela ingcono yabo yokuzivakalisa kukuzivakalisa nokunxibelelana ngezinye izivamvo, ezifana nokungcamla, ukubamba, ukushukuma, ukukhala...
Iintsana malunga neenyanga ezili-12 kuxa benokuziphatha ngolu hlobo. Ukuba basibetha ngabom, ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kuba njalo yijonge indlela esisabela ngayo. Kuba ngokuxhomekeke kwimpendulo yethu kuya kubaluleka kakhulu ukuba bangaqhubeka njani nokondla le ndlela yokuziphatha.
Ukususela kwiinyanga ezili-12, ezinye iintsana ezibethayo ziya kukwenza ngabom, kodwa ngaphandle kwenjongo yokuzifaka. Ngokulinganayo baya kukhangela umnxeba wokuvuka, kodwa kunikwe le nyaniso, uhlobo oluthile lolungiso kufuneka luphunyezwe. Akubalulekanga ngokwaneleyo kufuneka kuthathwe nokuba, ekubeni bengekaqapheli, kodwa kufuneka kuthathelwe ingqalelo, kuba baqalisa ukubetha ngamandla kwaye baluma ngakumbi.
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukufundisa abantwana xa bebadala kakhulu ayifanelanga kuncamatheliswa. Ekubeni bengabantwana banokufunda ngokuxelisa kwaye ukuziphatha kwabo kuya kuqala kuxhomekeke kwindlela thina bazali esisabela ngayo kwiimeko ezixinzelelekileyo. Ukuba ekubeni bebancinci kakhulu sibenza babone ukuba kufuneka ubethe kwaye ukhwaze, iya kuba yindlela yokuziphatha abaya kuyenza xa sele bekhulile.
Ndingenza ntoni xa umntana wam endibetha?
Nangona ezi zimo zengqondo ziyinxalenye yendaleko, akufuneki ubatyeshele. Kuya kufuneka uthathe amanyathelo kwaye uzame ukuzilungisa. Ngaloo ndlela, ukongezelela ekulungiseni isenzo ngokwaso, uya kube ufundisa usana lwakho ukulawula iimvakalelo zalo. Nangona kunjalo, ukufunyaniswa kwezakhono zokulawula iimvakalelo kuyacotha kwaye ngokuthe ngcembe, ngoko akukho nto ikhethekileyo ngaphandle kokuba nomonde.
Akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokulungisa ukuziphatha kwabo kunye misela imithetho kunye nemida. Ukongeza, nangona isenokungabonakali ngathi, bayayifuna ngokwenene kuba ibanceda babe nayo ngakumbi ukhuseleko kunye nommiselo. Ukusikelwa umda kwakhe kuya kusekelwe ekungenzini ukuziphatha okubi ngokwesini ekuhambeni kwexesha, ekubeni usenokuba neengxaki zobuqu kwixesha elizayo.
Iingcebiso malunga nokuziphatha okungafunekiyo kwiintsana
- Hlala wehlile yeyokuqala kwaye iphambili. Ngamanye amaxesha oku kuyinkohliso njengoko banokukwenzakalisa bengazi. Impendulo enamandla kwinqanaba lakho inokuqinisa ezi ntlobo zokuziphatha kusana lwakho.
- Zama ukuzibeka kwimeko yabo. Akululanga ukungabi nalo ulwimi olwaneleyo okanye izakhono zokuchaza okwenzekayo kuwe.
- Beka amagama kwiimvakalelo zakho. Ungatsho into enje "Ndiyazi ukuba unomsindo kakhulu"
- Khangela ezinye iindlela ezinokubakho. Beka usana lwakho kwindawo apho angakwazi ukukulimaza ngalo mzuzu ngelixa umxelela ngelizwi elibukhali kodwa ngokuzola kangangoko kunokwenzeka: Andifuni ukuba undibethe, uyandilimaza. Emva koko zama ukuphambukisa ingqalelo yakho kwenye into
- Ungavumeli isimilo, hayi umntwana. Kuya kufuneka uphephe ukuthetha amabinzana afana nokuthi "umbi", "Andisakuthandi", njl.
- Khohlwa malunga neempendulo ezinobundlongondlongo. Ungacinga ukuba ngokubuyisa isidlele uyakufunda ukuba kubuhlungu kwaye awuzukuphinda uyenze. Oku akuyonyani kwaphela. Ukukhwaza okanye ukubetha usana (nokuba luthambile) alunamsebenzi. Iimpikiswano kufuneka zisonjululwe ngamagama. Ukuba umntwana ubethwe kuba ubethile, ngekhe aqonde.
- Kubalulekile ukuba xa ucelwa umngeni iyekile ukuchaza uHAYI ovakalayo, iqinile kwaye ithatha isigqibo. Kufuneka ube serious, kodwa ungacaphuki. Ukubonwa kobuso bethu kubalulekile, kuba bebona kwasebancinane kakhulu ukuba zinjani izijekulo zethu. Ukuba siyahleka, ziyahleka; ukuba sizimisele, nabo baya kuba njalo.
- Ukuba uye wabetha okanye wabetha, musa ukubuyisela umphumo ofanayo, kuba unokuyithatha njengomdlalo kwaye usebenzise ubuchule obufanayo ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukuzonwabisa.
- ungahleki, okanye aluncome olu hlobo lokuziphatha.
- Musa ukumbamba izandla okanye emlonyeni, ekubeni oko kusenokubonakala ngathi ngumdlalo omncinane, kunokumenzakalisa.
- Umntwana akufanele abizwe ngokuba "mbi" kungekho mntu ingakumbi abantwana. Ukuphindaphinda kwayo kunokwenza abanye abantu bakholelwe ukuba le nto kufanele kubizwe ngayo kwaye ibangele ukuba ileyibhile ibekwe kuyo.
Kubalulekile ukuba bobabini abazali kunye namanye amalungu entsapho okanye abakhathaleli basebenzise iindlela ezifanayo ukuze umntwana okanye usana lungabethi okanye lulume. Ukuba kwicala labanye bayayihleka indlela yabo yokwenza izinto, oko kunokubabhida. Kuba ngoxa abanye bemngxolisa, abanye banokumhleka isimo sakhe sengqondo yaye oko kunokumenza angakholiseki.
Yintoni enokwenziwa xa umntwana ebetha abanye abantwana?
Abantwana ngokuqhelekileyo xa bebetha abanye abantwana le ndlela yokuziphatha idla ngokufakwa njengesiganeko esithile Yinxalenye yethuku lakho. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba olu hlobo lokuziphatha luba ngumkhwa okanye lucinezela yonke into ngokukrakra, kuxa kufuneka umfundise ukulawula iimvakalelo zakhe.
Njengengqiqo, simele sibonise ukuba ukuziphatha kwabo kuphosakele, ukuba ayilunganga kwaye into eyenzayo ayilunganga. Ukuba sisabela ndlongondlongo nangothando oluncinane, la mazwi asenokungasebenzi, simele sisoloko sizama ukukwenza unxibelelwano olusesikweni lukhona.
Kubalulekile ukuba nawe uyiqonde loo nto kufuneka ucele uxolo, kodwa oko kuya kuxhomekeka kwiminyaka. Akukho sidingo sokungena kwiintshumayelo kuba abasoze bamamele loo nto, kungcono baphulaphule umyalezo xa ufika ngexesha kwaye ucacisiwe. Kwaye ke, njengesohlwayo, ungaze ubabethe.