Kuyimpazamo eqhelekileyo ukucinga ukuba ngokuzalwa kusapho, ibhondi sele yenziwe. Sivame ukukholelwa ukuba ngenxa yeso sizathu kwaye kungenxa yeso sizathu, sele kukho uthando ngobomi. Nangona kunjalo, ayisiyiyo eyi-100% yokwenyani.
Izibophelelo zosapho, njengawo nawuphi na umbandela kunye nayiphi na imvakalelo yothando, kufuneka sikhathalele. Kubalulekile ukuba bahlakulele, ukuqinisekisa ukuba basempilweni kwaye bomelele ubudlelwane, ukuze bangabangeli naluphi na uhlobo lwengxaki nakweliphi na ilungu losapho.
Kutheni le nto kubalulekile ukutshintsha umbono wokuba uthando losapho lwenziwe?
Akufanele sicinge ukuba uthando lwamaqhina osapho lunikezelwa ngokuzalwa, kuba izimvo ezinje "akukho mntu uya kukuthanda njengosapho lwakho" zinokubeka umntwana kwisimo esibi, ezifana nokuxhatshazwa okanye ukuphathwa gadalala, ukungaxeli imeko yakho. Oku akufuneki kwenzeke kwaye ekuphela kwendlela yokuyiphepha kukuba umntwana azi ngandlela thile ukuba uthando luboniswa ngezibakala, njengoko ibinzana elithandwayo lisithi "Imisebenzi luthando kwaye ayisosizathu esivakalayo."
Ngaphandle kwalokhu, kufuneka sicinge ukuba imodeli yosapho lwesiko iyatshintsha. Namhlanje, kukho iyantlukwano kusapho. Inani lokwamkelwa komntwana ngumntu ongamzelanga ibengowakhe kunye neentsapho ezingacwangciswanga liyanda, ngenxa yokwahlukana noqhawulo-mtshato. Yiyo loo nto amaqhina okuzalwa enqunyulwe kwezinye iimeko. Nokuba kukwaphuka ubudlelwane kunye nabazali okanye ngokudala ubudlelwane bosapho obutsha nabanye abantu abafezekisa umsebenzi wokuncamathiselwa, ngaphandle kokunxibelelana ngokwemvelo.
Isidingo sokukhulisa ubudlelwane obunempilo bosapho kunye nobudlelwane
Nokuba luhlobo luni losapho esiludalayo, ukuba kwabiwa imfuza, ayisiyiyo eyona nto ibalulekileyo. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukwenza ubudlelwane obusempilweni kunye nobomeleleyo bokuncamathisela, iya kuba yinto eya kuthi izuze ngokwenene ukukhula kwabantwana.
Kubalulekile ukuzama, kangangoko kunokwenzeka, ukuchitha ixesha kunye nabo. Kubalulekile ukudala olo bophelelo, ukuba alunikwanga ngokuzalwa, luya kuza ngokwalo ngokusekwe kuthando, imbeko kunye namaxesha ahleliyo.
Njengoko besesitshilo uthando malukhuliswe, lukhathalelwe kwaye lutofelweAkungombuzo wezibophelelo zegazi. Kubaluleke kakhulu kwimpilo yakho yeemvakalelo. Ukuzithemba kwakho kunye nokwanela, ukukhuthaza kunye nokukwazi kwakho ukunyamezela ukukhathazeka, nokuba yindlela yakho yokuseka ubudlelwane obuhle, iya kuxhomekeka kuye.
Zininzi izinto apho ubudlelwane obuphilileyo bosapho bunokuba luncedo khona ebantwaneni bakho. Kungenxa yoko le nto kubalulekile ukuba ubeke inkathalo enkulu kunye nomdla wokubazisa.
Zeziphi iintlobo zobudlelwane ezingaphilanga kusapho lwakho
Ulwalamano ayinampilo xa elinye lamaqela amabini liziva linyanzelekile kwelinye. Oko kukuthi, akunampilo ukukhusela umntwana wakho kakhulu, kuba uya kuziva ecinezelekile, ezolile, engazithembi kwaye enexhala. Kwaye ayisiyiyo le yokuba ungayikhathaleli, kuba ukuzithemba kwayo kunokwenzakaliswa. Unokuba ngumntwana ovukelayo nonengxaki ukusuka kwimvakalelo yokulahlwa.
Zininzi iindlela zokwakha ubudlelwane nabantwana bethu. Kufuneka sihlale siqinisekisa ukuba banobudlelwane apho banokuziva bakhuselekile kwaye bakhuselekile. Ukuqonda ngokulandelelana, ukuba kufuneka babenendawo yabo kwaye inkululeko yabo kufuneka ikhuthazwe, kwaye kufuneka balandele imigaqo ethile.
Ingqeqesho ikwayindlela yokubonisa uthando, ukuba yenziwe ngendlela eyiyo. Asingombuzo wokuba ngumzali onegunya. Ingayinxalenye yoluhlobo lobudlelwane olungaphilanga kubantwana bakho. Imalunga nezikhokelo ekufuneka zilandelwe, ukuqeqesha njengabantu. Njengoko bekhula, baya kuphuma bangene kwihlabathi elizele yimithetho engabhalwanga. Indlela onxibelelana ngayo nabantwana bakho kunye nemithetho ebafundise yona ixhomekeke kwindlela yabo yokujongana nayo.
Njengoko ubona, ubudlelwane bosapho bunzima kwaye bahlukahlukene, baya ngaphaya kwemida yebhayiloji. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukubakhathalela kwaye ubahloniphe ngenxa yokukhula kwabantwana bakho. Hayi ngokuzala ungumama ngakumbi, hayi ngokwabelana ngeDNA ungutata ngakumbi. Eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu ihlala isenzeka emva koko, yonke imihla.