Iyaqondwa ngu ukukhulisa abantwana xa amakhwenkwe namantombazana, ngenxa yeemeko ezahlukeneyo, esebenza njengabazali babazali babo. Ngokuqhelekileyo bayathobela, abantwana abanomdla, abanoluvo oluphezulu loxanduva, kodwa banobuntwana obuncitshisiweyo kunye namanxeba athile ngokweemvakalelo anokuthintela ukukhula kwabo.
Iimfuno zovakalelo zaba bantwana zihlala zihoywa kwaye zithatha uxanduva olungahambelaniyo nabo. Sikubonisa ukuba zeziphi ii iimpawu yabantwana abakhuliswe ngumzali, iintlobo zokwenza umzali, kwaye zeziphi iimpawu ezinokuthi zenzeke kwezi meko.
Yintoni ubuzali?
Ubuzali ligama elivela kugqirha wezifo zengqondo uBoszormenyi-nagi ukubhekisa kwinto eqhelekileyo kwiintsapho ezingasebenzi kakuhle, kwaye umzali ongenaqabane, kodwa ayingobabo kuphela. Imalunga ne- inkqubo engekho zingqondweni apho abantwana baba ngabazali kubazali babo. Ke ngoko bathatha uxanduva olukhulu kunokuba kufanelekile kubudala babo kunye nokukhula kwabo. Iyenzeka kumakhwenkwe namantombazana.
Uluntu lwanamhlanje luyavuma loo nto abantwana baphathwa njengabantu abadala abancinci, eyenza ukuba ingazi ngakumbi, ngoomama nooyise, nangabantwana ngokwabo. Abancinci bayayibona impembelelo yabo kusapho eyonyukayo, le meko ibandakanya ukuthandwa ngakumbi kunokugxekwa, kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha isengumgibe wengqondo. Ngale ndlela, abantwana baba ngabo banoxanduva lokwanelisa iimfuno zomzimba kunye / okanye zeemvakalelo zabazali babo okanye zabanye abantwana babo.
Nangona kunjalo, kukho ababhali abacinga njalo le nkqubo yokuguqula le ndima inokuba luncedo kwezinye iimeko. Umntwana unokuyibona le meko njengophawu loxabiso kunye nombulelo. Ukufezekiswa koxanduva lokukhulisa izakhono kunye namandla kubantwana kubaphembelela ekubeni babe ngabantu abadala abakhuphisanayo. Nokuba kunjalo, inqanaba ngalinye lobomi linezikhokelo kunye neempawu zalo zophuhliso kwaye kwimeko yobuzali azihlonitshwa.
Ukwahlulahlula okanye iintlobo zokumiselwa njengomzali
Olunye lodidi oluqhelekileyo ngokubhekisele kubuzali lolwahlukileyo Iindidi ezimbini:
- Iimvakalelo. Kwenzeka xa oomama nootata belindele ukuba abantwana babo babaqinisekise xa bekhathazekile okanye babakhusele kwiziphumo zeemvakalelo zezenzo zabo. Abantwana baba yinkxaso yeemvakalelo kwiimfuno zabo.
- Okomzimba okanye isixhobo. Yiyo apho kulindeleke ukuba abantwana bakhathalele iimfuno zasekhaya okanye zoqoqosho: ukulungisa ukutya, ukukhathalela abanye abantakwabo okanye ezinye iintlobo zoxanduva ezihambelana nabazali. Oku kuthathwa njengokungenabungozi ebantwaneni.
Ababhali uHoolper noWallace bathi ezi ndidi zimbini zokunikwa kwabazali zihambelana ukuphazamiseka okunje ngoxinzelelo, unxunguphalo kunye notomization. Baye bagcina ukuba abantu abadala ababekhuliswe ngabazali kunokwenzeka ngakumbi ukuba bakhulise i-imposter syndrome.
Iimpawu ezibonakalayo zokuba ngumzali
Ukugqwesa kobuzali kukuba uhlobo lobudlelwane olusekwayo ngunyana-nyana-ntombi, umama nonyana-ntombi, luyabonwa yomelezwa sisimo sengqondo sabantu abadala. Bahlala bekhanyela ubunyani bomntwana kwaye baziva ngathi yonke into bayenzela ukulungelwa kwabo.
Ezinye iimpawu ezibonwayo kubantu abadala, umzekelo, ukuba ngutata baxoxe kwaye babelane ngeengxaki zobudlelwane nabantwana babonangaphezulu kunabanye abantu abadala. Ujolise ebomini bakhe nasekuzithembeni kwakhe ebantwaneni bakhe, ufuna ukwazi ukuba baziva njani abantwana bakhe, kwaye baziva bengahoywanga. Utata okanye umama banika izipho ezikhetheke kakhulu ngeentsuku zokuzalwa okanye ngeeholide, nto leyo ebangela ukulindelwa okuphezulu kakhulu ebantwaneni. Abazali balindele ukuba unyana okanye intombi yabo ithathe inxaxheba kwimisebenzi ecetywayo, kwaye ukuba abayenzi loo nto, baziva benesimo sokulahlwa
Ngokwabo, abantwana baziva benetyala rhoqo kunye uxanduva kutata okanye umama ngaphandle kokuphendula uninzi lwezicelo zakho. Kunzima kakhulu, okanye akunakwenzeka, ukuba umntwana athi hayi kumzali. Abantwana ababekhuliswe ngabazali, ngexesha lokuba mdala kwabo bathambekele ekuthatheni iindima zoxanduva kunye nabanonopheli phambi kwabahlobo, amaqabane kunye nomsebenzi.