Kusukela UDaniel coleman yandisa umqondo we-Emotional Intelligence ngo-1995, bambalwa ababheka ukubaluleka kwalesi sici ekuziphatheni kwethu kwansuku zonke, nasendleleni esixhumana ngayo. Noma kuyiqiniso, igama, kanjalo, kwakungekusha. Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saseMelika uWayne Payne, wasethula okokuqala ngo-1985.
Kwakuyiminyaka eyishumi lapho umqondo wezobunhloli waqala ukushintsha, futhi ababhali abanjengoHoward Gardner ngencwadi yakhe ethi "Multiple Intelligences", basilethela umbono ongashintsha izindlela eziningi, nezindlela ezintsha zokuqonda imfundo. Thuthukisa futhi ufake ukuhlakanipha ngokomzwelo ezinganeni zethu, les va ayudar en muchos aspectos, y en «Madres hoy» queremos darte las claves básicas.
Ukubaluleka kokufundisa ngemizwa
Sizoqala ngokuphendula umbuzo obalulekile okungenzeka abafundi bethu abaningi bazibuza wona manje: Kungani kubalulekile ukufundisa izingane zami ku-Emotional Intelligence?
Cabanga umzuzwana ngale mibono, futhi uzobona ukuthi ngokushesha kanjani, uyazi ukuthi kungani:
- Imfundo yengane ayigcini nje ngokuyifundisa ukuhamba, ukukhuluma noma ukwazi ukuthi imuphi umfula odlula eBudapest. Ukufundisa kubuye kufundise indlela yokuphila, futhi ukuphila kukwazi ukuthi ngingajabula kanjani nokuthi nginganikeza kanjani injabulo kwabanye.
- Ukuphathwa ngokomzwelo kuyisihluthulelo empilweni yansuku zonke yengane. Ungamfundisa ukuthi ukudabuka noma ukukhungatheka akuvezi intukuthelo, ukuthi ukukhala kuqeda njengokwazi ukuxhumana, nokuthi kuhle nokwazi ukuthi "ungagqoka kanjani izicathulo" zabanye ukuze baqonde ukuthi bazizwa kanjani, ukuze yazi ukuthi yini uzwela.
Kuze kube namuhla, imfundiso lapho ulwazi oluhle nokuphathwa kwemizwa ibekwa eqhulwini ayikakasekelwa kahle ezifundweni zesikole.
Yize kuliqiniso ukuthi ezinye izikole zemfundo yezingane ezisencane sezivele zisebenza ngezinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zokwaziswa ngale ndaba, isidingo sokwenza lokho unikele ngamakhono amahle ku-Emotional Intelligence (EI).
Isici okungangabazeki ukuthi sizothakazelisa kakhulu emfundweni yesekondari, lapho intsha iveza khona ubuntu bayo, futhi kufanele ibhekane nalezo zingxabano zangaphakathi nezabantu ezizomaka ingxenye yempilo yazo.
Izinsika eziyisisekelo lapho i-Emotional Intelligence isekelwe khona ziyisishiyagalombili, uchungechunge lwezici okuthi, kude nokuzinza, zikhule futhi zivuthwe ezimpilweni zethu zonke. Ngakho-ke ukubaluleka kwe- gxilisa lezi zilinganiso emfundweni yomncinyane ngokushesha okukhulu:
- Ukuqonda
- Ukuzwakalisa abanye nabanye ngokomzwelo
- Amakhono omphakathi
- Uzwela
- Ukuzethemba
- Ukuzethemba
- Ukuzimela
- Ukuzimela
Ake sibheke manje 4 okhiye bokufundisa ku-Emotional Intelligence (EI).
1. Sebenzela imizwelo eyisisekelo
Njengoba usuvele uyazi, imizwa eyisisekelo noma eyinhloko yilezi: injabulo, ukwesaba, intukuthelo nokudabuka. Uzoqala nini ukwazi ukuthi ungazikhomba kanjani, uziqonde noma wazi ukuthi ungaziphatha kanjani?
Njengomama kufanele sikucacele lokho Imfundo yengane, kholwa noma ungakholwa, iqala kusukela ngosuku lokuqala. Iqiniso elilula lokumnikeza imikhuba ethile, eminye imihlahlandlela yokulala nokudla, kanye nochungechunge lonke lwezimpawu zothando nothando, selivele liyafundisa.
Kusukela ngomzuzu wokuqala uthatha ingane yakho uyigaxa engalweni yakho, usuvele ufundisa amanani anamandla amakhulu akhona: othandweni nasekuvikelekeni.
Njengoba zikhula uzobona kuzo "ukuqhuma" okucacile kuyo yonke le mizwa eyisisekelo eshiwo ekuqaleni. Mfundise ukubona intukuthelo, ukwesaba, injabulo...bese, ukubabona kwabanye.
Ungalokothi unqikaze ukubabuza kusukela emncane kakhulu ukuthi bazizwa kanjani, ubenze bahlukanise kuqala kunakho konke «ukufutheka kosizi. Izingane eziningi zingasabela ngentukuthelo lapho zintula futhi zizizwa zidabukile.
Benze bazi ukuthi bangahlukanisa kanjani, ukuthi bachaze ngamazwi abo noma ngemidwebo ukuthi bazizwa kanjani.
2. Ngizifaka ezicathulweni zabanye
Lokhu kuvivinya umzimba kufanele kube nsuku zonke futhi kuvamile empilweni yansuku zonke yengane. Akukona nje kuphela ukuthi kumele bazi ukuthi bangayibona kanjani imizwa yabo kubo, kubalulekile ukuthi nabo bazi ukuthi bangazibona kanjani kwabanye.
- Uzwela luyinsika eyisisekelo yokuphila ndawonye. Kukhuthaza ukuqonda, inhlonipho nobunye.
- Ukukhomba kweminye imizwa "onakho" kudala isibopho nenhlonipho kulabo abangizungezile. Kubalulekile ukuthi ingane ikuqonde ngokushesha okukhulu.
- Manje, singakuthola kanjani? Mbuze imibuzo, uvuse isithakazelo sakhe emizweni yabanye abantu: Ubabone kanjani ogogo nomkhulu namuhla? Ngabe ucabanga ukuthi babejabule, ukuthi babekhathele? Ucabanga ukuthi uzizwe kanjani lowo mngani ekilasini lakho ngokungamumemeli osukwini lwakho lokuzalwa?
3. Sifunda ukuzithanda
Fundisa ingane ukuzazisa nokuzithanda, Kubaluleke njengokudla esikunikelayo noma izingubo esigqoka ngazo. Ukuzethemba kuyigiya lenhlalakahle yangaphakathi, nokuvuthwa njengomuntu, lokho kusasa okuzokunikeza isikhuthazo sokubhekana nomhlaba.
- Ukuzethemba kukhuthazwa enganeni ngokumnika ukuphepha ngaso sonke isikhathi. Nikeza ukuzethemba ngamabinzana akhayo: "Impela uzoyithola", "ufanelwe okungcono kakhulu", "kungenzeka ukuthi ikonakele manje, kodwa uma uzama futhi, kuzokuhambela kahle kakhulu."
- Ukubaluleka kokuzethemba kuqala lapho izingane zizazi ngokwazo maqondana nabanye. Ingesinye sezisekelo lapho i-Emotional Intelligence yondliwa khona
- Bazokuqaphela ikakhulukazi eminyakeni yokuqala yesikole, ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukuthi ngaphambi kokuba baqale ukuhlangana, babe nezinsiza zokuzondla, bakwazi ukuzimela, bazi njalo ukuthi bayathandwa futhi bayasekelwa yithi.
4. Ngiveza engikuzwayo, futhi ngiyakwazi ukukulalela
Ungavumeli izingane zakho zifinyelele ebusheni ngokuba intsha ene-hermetic engazi ukuveza imizwa yayo, nokuthi bazohlala befuna ukuba wedwa kwegumbi labo elivalekile, ukukhipha ulaka lwabo ngokuzwakalayo, ukukhuluma ngezinto abazesabayo, ukwazi ukuthi bangaveza kanjani izidingo zabo ...
Singayithola kanjani? Cabanga ngalezi zici i-Emotional Intelligence ezohlala ingamandla ethu okushayela ngazo:
- Sungula ingxoxo engaguquguquki, ejabulisayo futhi emanzi nezingane kusukela zisencane.
- Musa ukujezisa, ungahluleli, ungagxeki noma uhlekise ngalokho okushiwo izingane zakho. Okwamanje lapho bebona ukuthi amazwi abo azovunyelwa nokuthi imizwa yabo ingaba umthombo wokugxekwa, bazoyeka ukuxhumana nawe.
- Balalele futhi uphikisane ngaphandle kokugxeka, yenza wonke amagama aphuma emlonyeni wabo abaluleke kuwe nokuthi bawaqonde ngaleyo ndlela.
- Ngokulandelayo, kubalulekile ukuthi bazi ukuthi bangaya kanjani, bagcine ukubabheka emehlweni futhi bahloniphe imibono. Ukuxhumana kungukushintshana ngemicabango, imizwa nemicabango ngenhlonipho, futhi lesi yisipho okungafanele neze usiphuthe usuku nosuku nezingane zakho.
Thuthukisa imfundo esekwe kwimizwa ezinganeni zakho kusukela kumzuzu wokuqala, nakuwo wonke umzuzu wokuphila kwazo. Ngalokho, uzonikeza umhlaba abantu abadala abajabulayo nabazimele abazokwazi ukwenza abanye abantu bajabule.
Ukufeza lokhu, khumbula ukuthi kufanele futhi usebenzise ubuhlakani obungokomzwelo obenele ukuze unikeze isibonelo ezinganeni zakho.