Ukukhulisa izingane ngokweqile: lapho ukuvikelwa ngokweqile kuletha ukungajabuli

Ukukhulisa izingane ngokweqile kuyigama okufanele silingeze kulabo asebaziwa kakhulu "njengabazali abanobuthi", "izingane ezi-bubble", "abazali bezindiza ezinophephela emhlane" noma "ukulima okuhlangene". Sazi kahle ukuthi kwesinye isikhathi lobu bukhulu bungasikhathaza noma bube ngaphezulu, busenze singabaze uma nathi senza okuthile okungalungile ... Ngizoba ngumama onobuthi ngoba nje ngikhathazeka ngendodana yami nsuku zonke futhi ngiyibuze ukuthi uhambe kanjani esikoleni? Ngabe ngenza iphutha ngokuncoma ukuthi yibaphi abangane okufanele sibethembe futhi yibaphi abangafanele?

Yize kuliqiniso ukuthi kwesinye isikhathi sisutha ngandlela thile maqondana nezingozi ze ukuvikela ngokweqile Ezinganeni, kungashiwo ukuthi ukhiye usesilinganisweni. Akusekho okungaphansi. Ukuba ngubaba omuhle noma omubi, umama omubi noma omubi akuyona into abanye okufanele basitshele yona ukuthi bayithole, kuyinto nathi ngokwethu okufanele sazi ukuthi siyibona kanjani ezinganeni zethu. Kukhona labo abanezidingo eziningi, ngakho-ke sizoqaphela kakhulu.

Kunezingane, ngakolunye uhlangothi, ezinokuvuthwa okungokwemvelo okubenza bakhule ngokuzethemba nokulinganisela, lapho ukunakwa kwethu nokugxila kwethu kwezemfundo ngokungangabazeki kuzohluka. Ukukhulisa ngokweqile ukunakekela ngokweqile ezinganeni, lolo hlobo lwezibopho olukude nokubavumela akhule futhi avuthwe, kubaholela ekungazethembini, ekuzinyezeni futhi, ngenxa yalokho, ekungajabulini. Kusuka Madres Hoy Sikumema ukuthi ujule esihlokweni.

Yini futhi yini okungeyona i-hyper-parenting

Ukufundisa akuvikeli kuze kube kuvimbela ingane ukuthi ikwazi ukuzithathela izinqumo lapho kufanele. Ukufundisa akubeki izithiyo, kepha kuvula izindlela ngenkathi sibahola ngesandla, sihlonipha isigqi sabo, imijikelezo yabo, nezidingo zabo.

Emindenini eminingi kuyinkimbinkimbi ngandlela thile ukuhlukanisa phakathi kokukhulisa abantwana ngokweqile nokungekhona, ngoba inhloso yayo ihlala ifana: fundisa ngothando. Ngaphandle kokuthi kwesinye isikhathi, senza amaphutha kumasu, ngoba ukunikeza umhlaba izingane ezijabule akwanele ukuzithanda nje kuphela, ukuzinakekela.

Kufanele wazi ukuthi ungangena kanjani futhi ukhuthaze usuku ngalunye nezikhathi ezahlukahlukene izimpendulo ezahlukahlukene ukuze ingane ithathe impumelelo ngaso sonke isikhathi izizwa iphephile esinyathelweni ngasinye. Akulula, kepha Kuyi-adventure ethokozisayo lapho kudingeka into eyodwa kuphela ebalulekile: ukunakekela imizwa nezidingo ezithile zezingane zakho. Ngoba kufanele sicacise ngakho, ayikho ingane efanayo, futhi lokho kuyinto ngaphandle kokungabaza, uzobe uzibona uma unezingane ezingaphezu kweyodwa.

Ngakho-ke, kungasiza kakhulu ukwazi ukuthi yini ukukhulisa abantwana ngokweqile kunokungekhona.

Sizobe sinaka ngokweqile lapho ...

• Sizobe sisebenza njenge-hyper-parenting lapho sesivele sihlele kusengaphambili izindlela izingane zethu okufanele zizikhethe. Akufanelekile ukuphupha unengane enhle kunazo zonke, ehlakaniphile kunazo zonke, ehlakaniphe kakhulu. Ingane yakho ihlukile futhi ayisoze yaba ikhophi lethu. Unezwi lakho, ubuntu obuhlukile futhi obukhulayo, futhi-ke unelungelo lokwakha ikusasa alifisayo azi ukuthi abazali babo bakhona ukubasekela.

• Kunemindeni eminingi kancane kancane ethola ukuthi izingane zayo azizuzi, ngokwesibonelo, imiphumela yezemfundo eziyilindele. Lokho kuholela ekudumazekeni, futhi Ukuphoxeka ebusweni bomzali kuyayilimaza ingane.

• Kunesinye isici okufanele usicabangele mayelana nokukhulisa izingane ngokweqile: abazali abavikelayo bavimba izingane zabo ekwenzeni amaphutha, futhi uma benza kanjalo, kwehluleka nhlangothi zombili. Ingane evikeleke ngokweqile ihlala egobolondweni le-aseptic lapho konke ukunyakaza kwayo kulawulwa khona ukuze yonke into iphumelele, sikholelwa ukuthi okuhamba phambili kunikezwa ngaleyo ndlela.

• Akuyona into efanele ukuyenza Yonke ingane inelungelo lokwenza amaphutha, ukuwa, ukufeyila izivivinyo, ukucasukela othile egcekeni lesikole. ekolishi. Konke lokhu ukufunda okubalulekile okuzohlanganisa nakho ulwazi olunengqondo oluzokuvumela ukuthi wenze ngokufanelekile. Asikwazi ukufinyelela kuzo zonke lezi zici, kufanele sibayeke benze iphutha ngesinye isikhathi, bese sikwazi ukubakhombisa ngendlela eyiyo kakhulu. Izingane zifunda ngesibonelo ngaphezu kwamazwi.

Ngeke siwele kubuzali obukhulu lapho ...

Kungenzeka ukuthi kwesinye isikhathi, osebenza naye noma isihlobo sikutshele lokho "Ukhathazeka kakhulu ngendodana yakho, babhekana kahle nayo, mayiyeke." Yebo, kunokuba siphendule ngokucasuka noma ngisho nangaphansi, silandela iseluleko, akudingekile ukukhumbula ukuthi sinelungelo lokukhathazeka ngezingane zethu.

• Akekho owenza umkhuba wokukhulisa izingane ngesenzo esilula sokunakekela inhlalakahle, injabulo nokuphepha kwezingane zabo. Ukukhathazeka akuyona into ebonisa ubuthi bomndeni, ukungenelela okuqhubekayo, ukulawula ngokweqile nokusebenza kwezikhala zomuntu siqu zengane noma ezeve eshumini nambili ukukhulisa ngokweqile.

• Akekho owenza i-hyper-parenting ukuze athande ukutholwa okuqhubekayo enganeni. Ukuphakamisa izincwadi, imisebenzi yangezikhathi zesikole, ezemidlalo, ukuyisa kumamnyuziyamu, ohambweni, ukubakhuthaza ukuthi bavuleleke emhlabeni akukhona ukulawula noma ukuhlela impilo yabo. Njengoba, njengoba sishilo, "ukuphakamisa", "ukwenza lula" ukungaphoqeleli. Ukufunda okuhle kakhulu kufinyelelwa kulukulukuNgakho-ke, kuhlale kunothisa kakhulu ukubafundisa amathuba amaningi okufunda nokuzijabulisa ukuze bona ngokwabo bakwazi ukukhetha abakuthandayo.

• Ukunakekela, ukuvikela nokukholisa ingane yakho ukuthi ingumuntu ongcono kakhulu emhlabeni akukona ukukhulisa ngokweqile. Akekho umuntu omosha ingane ngokuthi ayikhumbuze nsuku zonke ukuthi ibaluleke ngani, inamandla amakhulu kangakanani nokuthi iyathandwa kangakanani. Ngalokhu, siqinisa ukuzethemba kwakho, sikukhuthaza ukuthi uqhubekele phambili usuku ngalunye uzizwa uvikelekile emsebenzini ngamunye noma esenzweni osenza wedwa. Futhi ngeke sibe ngabazali abavikela ngokweqile ngokuvikela, ngokukhathazeka ngokwazi ukuthi baqhuba kanjani esikoleni nokwazi ukuthi banezinkinga yini. Lokho ukunakekelwa okudingekayo okuwela ngaphakathi kwezibopho zethu.

Ukuphetha, ukufundisa, ukukhulisa, ukuqeqesha, isenzo sokuzibandakanya esivela enhliziyweni kepha futhi senziwa ngomqondo nangokulinganisela. Ingane ngayinye izoba nezidingo zayo, futhi ngokungangabazeki lokho kuzoba yindawo yokuqala okufanele sisebenzele kuyo.

Usizo lwezincwadi, izindlela ezahlukahlukene zokukhulisa izingane zingamathuluzi amahle futhi. Kodwa-ke, uma ungumama, lapho ungubaba, wazi kahle ukuthi azikho izinsuku ezimbili ezifanayo, nokuthi kwesinye isikhathi wenza ubuqili bangempela ukuze ufike ekugcineni kosuku, sibalalise bese bephefumula bekhululekile ngoba konke kuhambe kahle futhi ngoba izingane zethu zilala zigculisekile zazi ukuthi sikhona, sihlala sizinakekela, kodwa sizifundisa nsuku zonke ukuthi zibe ngabantu abadala abanokwethenjelwa.