Iqiniso ukuthi lapho kukhulunywa ngeminyaka efanelekile yokuba nengane yokuqala, namuhla kuyinto ehlobene kakhulu ngoba kuya ngezici eziningi leso simo isinqumo, kungakhathalekile ukuthi ufuna ngempela ukuba ngumama okokuqala noma cha. Abesifazane abaningi abafuna ukuba omama bazizwa benesimo somsebenzi, ngesikhathi esincane abanaso, ngokwesaba ukulahlekelwa umsebenzi ngenxa yokuhlala besesimweni, ngengcindezi engabangelwa yingane, ukuthi kubiza kangakanani ukuba ngumama futhi usizo oluncane olutholwa omama ezweni lethu.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kukhona abesifazane abasengaba omama banquma ukungabi khona ukuze babe nokuphila okunokuthula, ukuze ungaboshelwa kunoma imuphi umbhangqwana, ukuze ungazukuthola ukwelashwa okuzala, ukuze ungasebenzisi imali, ukwazi ukukhuphuka ngokomsebenzi kanye ne-etcetera ende eqondene kakhulu nempilo umuntu ngamunye.
Ngokwami, kwase kuyisikhathi sokuthi ngibe ngumama lapho indodana yami yanquma ukuthi kwase kuyisikhathi sokuya emhlabeni. Hhayi ngaphambili, hhayi ngemuva. Ngoba kunezikhathi lapho owesifazane azi ukuthi isikhathi silungile, ngoba yize ukwesaba nokungaqiniseki okuthile kungena, ekujuleni kwenhliziyo yakho, uyazi ukuthi isikhathi sesifikile.
Kepha uma kukhulunywa ngeminyaka yobudala, yisiphi isikhathi esikahle sokuthola ingane yakho yokuqala? Yimuphi unyaka ofanele esimweni ngasinye?
Iminyaka engcono kakhulu yokuba nengane yokuqala
Kunabantu abacabanga lokho iminyaka ephelele yokuba nengane yokuqala iphakathi kweminyaka engama-25 nengama-29 ubudala. Le nkathi ihlobene kakhulu nenhlalo yomphakathi ngoba kule minyaka, ekuqaleni futhi ngokulandela izinkambiso zenhlalo yomphakathi wethu, abantu kule nkathi yezimpilo zabo ngabe sebenomsebenzi nokuvikeleka kwezomnotho.
Kepha namuhla le mininingwane ingaba isihlobo esikhulu ngoba kule minyaka kunabesifazane abaningi abasha nabaningi abasesemakhaya abazali babo ngenxa yokungenzeki kokuzikhulula ngenxa yomsebenzi onganakile emphakathini wethu, into engangabazeki ukuthi ukuzalwa Izinga lehla phakathi kwabesifazane nabesilisa abaningi abafuna ukuba obaba kepha izimali zomndeni azikuvumeli lokho.
20, 25, 30, noma 0 iminyaka?
Kunabantu abaningi abacabanga ukuthi iminyaka engcono kakhulu yokuqala ukuba nezingane ineminyaka engama-25 ngenxa yezizathu engizibalulile ngenhla, kepha kukhona nalabo abacabanga ukuthi iminyaka engcono kakhulu ineminyaka engama-20 ngoba unamandla amakhulu neminyaka eminingi ezayo .
Kepha namuhla, ukuba seminyakeni yama-20s yakho kungenzeka kungatholi izinhloko zabantu abaningi. Bangaki abantu abasha kule minyaka abasakhulile kakhulu ukuthi bangakwazi ukuzinakekela? Ngabe kufanele yini ukuthi bakwenze besewusana? Kulezi zimo njengakubaningi ukukhulelwa kwentsha kungaba abazali abagcina benakekela abazukulu Futhi lokhu bekungeke kube ngumqondo omuhle enganeni edinga abazali bayo, nayo.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, abantu abasha abaningi abanale minyaka abakabi nawo umsebenzi ngakho-ke abakwazanga ukondla ingane ukuze bayondle futhi bayinikeze zonke izidingo eziyisisekelo ezidingwa ingane encane.
Kepha mathupha Ngicabanga ukuthi lokhu kweminyaka yokuba ngumama okokuqala kuyahluka kuye ngezinga lemfundo labantu noma isiko abakulo. Kunabantu abakhula becabanga ukuthi kumele balinde ngaphezu kweminyaka engama-25 ukuze bathole izingane, abanye ukuthi kumele bapase ama-30 ngisho nama-35 ukuze "baphile impilo ngaphambi kokuba babe ngabazali."
Kepha futhi kufanele sazi ukuthi asekhona amasiko akholelwa ukuthi abesifazane kufanele babe omama ngokushesha okukhulu ngaphandle kokucabanga ngezidingo zabo njengowesifazane, uma kungenjalo bacabanga ngabo kuphela ngenhloso yokuzala. Okuthiwa ngaphandle kokungabaza, ngiyethemba ukuthi ngelinye ilanga lo mcabango uzoshintsha njengoba kunabesifazane abaningi emhlabeni okufanele baphile ngokukhululeka futhi bakwazi ukuzinqumela.
Noma kunjalo iminyaka ekahle yokuba nengane yokuqala isesilinganisweni kakhulu, ngoba kuzoncika kumongo wezenhlalo namasiko lapho umuntu evuna khona iminyaka ethile.
Izinto okufanele uzigcine engqondweni
Kubalulekile futhi ukuqaphela ukuthi kunabesifazane abafuna ukuba omama besebancane kakhulu kepha ngenxa yanoma yiziphi izizathu abavinjelwe ukuba bakwazi ukuba omama besebancane, nokuthi ngaphandle kokukwazi ukukhetha, iminyaka iyahamba futhi abakwazi ukuba omama. Abaningi balaba besifazane bagcina ngokuya emitholampilo esiza ekuzaleni ukuze babasize babe omama, okuthile okungafinyelelwa ngobusuku obubodwa. Ngalesi sizathu, kunabesifazane okuthi, besafuna ukuba ngomama, kumele balinde isikhathi eside futhi bangaba omama abangaphezu kweminyaka engama-35 futhi baze basondele eminyakeni engama-40 edlule.
Kuyiqiniso ukuthi ukuba nezingane ezineminyaka engama-20 namuhla akunakuziphendulela uma ungenazo izindlela ezifanele, kodwa ngokomzimba iminyaka efanelekile ngoba unamandla adingekayo ukuba nabo ngaso sonke isikhathi ngaphandle kokuzizwa ukhathele kakhulu.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, iqiniso lokuba nobuhlobo obuzinzile noma cha nalo libaluleke kakhulu. Kukhona abesifazane abanesibindi abathatha isinqumo sokuba ngomama abangabodwa, futhi yize kuyiqiniso ukuthi kunzima kakhulu kwezomnotho nangokomzwelo, abesifazane abaningi ngokwengeziwe banquma ukungena ezweni lomama ngaphandle kukababa noma umlingani ozinzile.
Futhi wena, ucabangani ngakho? ¿Ucabanga ukuthi kungcono ukuba nezingane ezincane Noma ukuthi kungcono ukuphila impilo futhi ujabulele ngenkathi ungakwazi futhi ube ngabazali abaneminyaka yobudala engama-30 noma engama-35? Ngabe ucabanga ukuthi namuhla izinto ziyinkimbinkimbi emphakathini wethu ukuthi sikwazi ukuba ngabazali? Abantu abangakhetha banenhlanhla ngempela, ngoba baningi abantu besifazane kanye nemibhangqwana eminingi engakhethi, bamane balinde izindaba okulindelwe isikhathi eside ukuthi umntwana usendleleni yokuthi ekugcineni afike.