Ukuba ngumzali onegunya kunconywa njengenye yezindlela ezisebenza kahle kakhulu zobuzali, kodwa iqiniso ukuthi ukuze lisebenze kufanele kube nokuqubuka okuthile. Uma ucabanga ukuthi ukuba ngumzali onegunya kuyindlela engcono yokufundisa izingane zakho, yazi kahle ukuthi kuyini ukusebenzisa ngaphandle kokulimaza ukukhula ngokomzwelo kwezingane zakho noma ukwephula indawo enhle ekhaya. Ukufeza lokhu kuzofanele wazi ukukhulisa izingane ngentando yeningi.
Bonke abazali bafuna ukuba nokulinganisela ekhaya, ukuze izimpilo zabo bonke, kubandakanya nezabantwana, zihambe ngendlela enhle. Ukuba ngumzali wentando yeningi, kwenziwe kahle, kugxila kulokhu. Kepha kufanele uqaphele, ngoba uma wenza umzali onegunya othathwe ngokweqile, okuphambene kungafinyelelwa futhi izingane zikhula zingajabule, zingazethembi futhi zinokuzethemba okuphansi.
Ukukhuliswa ngentando yeningi
Ukuba ngumzali wentando yeningi kubonakala ngokulindela okuphezulu nokwamukela okuhle ngokomzwelo. Imikhawulo ecacile kanye nokuqondiswa okulungile kuyafakwa futhi ngasikhathi sinye, imfudumalo nokwesekwa kunikezwa izingane, ngenhlonipho. Ingane noma abazali akufanele babe namandla. Esikhundleni salokho, Ekukhuliseni ubuzali obunobuthi, abazali bafuna ukuba namandla ngaso sonke isikhathi Ngaphandle kokuhlonipha imizwa yezingane zabo, bakholelwa ukuthi 'ukuhleleka nokuyala' kuyindlela engcono kakhulu.
Kwakungo-1960 lapho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esithuthukayo u-Diana Baumrind efunda ukuxhumana komzali nomzali emindenini enezingane ezisenkulisa ukunquma izitayela ezivame kakhulu neziphumelelayo zokubeletha. Ucwaningo lwakhe lokuphayona luchaze izitayela ezintathu eziyinhloko, kuqhathaniswa umzali wentando yeningi nalabo abanobukhosi noma abavumayo.
Abazali abanegunya bafuna ngenkani kodwa banikeza ukusekelwa okuncane okungokomzwelo; bamane bafuna ukulalelwa, futhi bagxeka kanzima lapho izingane zabo zingafinyeleli kulokho abakulindele. Abazali abavumayo banemfudumalo futhi banothando, kepha ababeki mingcele eyanele futhi banganqikaza ukubeka imithetho noma ukuhambisana nezijeziso. Ingane ishiywe nemingcele engacacile nokulindelwe futhi igcina ilawula ukuziphatha kwayo.
Abazali bayayazi indlela yokubeka imingcele ecacile
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lapho inqubo yentando yeningi yenziwa ekukhuliseni, abazali bayayazi indlela yokubeka imingcele yezingane zabo icace bha, kepha futhi babamba iqhaza ekugcineni ubudlelwane obuhle nezingane zabo bazi ukuthi bangabantu abazimele, abanabo izishoshovu. Abazali beDemokhrasi abavumi ukuthi izingane zingaziphathi kahle, Kufanele bathobele imithetho futhi babe nokulindela kwangempela.
Laba bazali banengqondo, banomusa, banothando futhi banothando. Bachaza imithetho nemiphumela yokungayilandeli ngezizathu, bazihloniphe izingane zabo ngaso sonke isikhathi. Bangaze babuze ngisho nombono wezingane zabo kwesinye isikhathi, futhi bayazi ukuthi bangahlukanisa kanjani okuxoxisanayo kokungekho.
Lesi sitayela sokuba ngumzali sifanele ngoba sinomphumela omuhle ekukhuleni kwezingane futhi nobudlelwano phakathi kwabazali nezingane buyanakekelwa.
Izici zabazali bentando yeningi
Abazali beDemokhrasi bavame ukuba nezici ezifanayo:
- Babeka imingcele ecacile
- Banolindelo lwangempela ezinganeni zabo
- Bayazi ukuthi baxoxisane kanjani ngokubhekela izintshisekelo zabo bonke kanye nokuhle kwezingane zabo
- Banothando futhi bayazithanda izingane zabo
- Bayalalela futhi bakhulume ngokukhululekile nezingane zabo
- Banikeza izingane ithuba lokuziveza
- Bayazi ukuthi izingane zabo zinemicabango yazo
- Bathuthukisa ukucabanga okujulile nezenzo ezinhle
- Ziyakwazi ukuguquguquka futhi zinengqondo
- Izingane zabo zingabethemba
- Imiphumela esebenzayo ihlala ilungile futhi kwesinye isikhathi iyavumelana
Izinzuzo zesitayela sokubeletha ngentando yeningi
Le ndlela yokuba ngumzali inezinzuzo ezinkulu ekukhuleni kwezingane. Kunezifundo eziningi ezikhombisa ukuthi izingane zikhula ngendlela enempilo uma abazali bazo benentando yeningi. Izingane ezinabazali abantando yeningi ziyajabula, zinekhono ngokwengeziwe, banobudlelwano obungcono emphakathini, bathandwa kakhulu nomaphi lapho beya khona, banamabanga angcono esikoleni, ukuzethemba okungcono kanye nomqondo omuhle wabo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, futhi mancane amathuba okuthi bahlakulele izinkinga ezingokomzwelo noma zokuziphatha.
Bajwayele ukulawula okuhle ngokomzwelo nokuzethemba ukuze bafunde amakhono amasha futhi bavumelane nezimo nezimo ezahlukahlukene. Ngokuvamile bangabantu abazethembayo, abanozwela futhi abanamasu amaningi.
Ukuze ujabulele izinzuzo ezigcwele zalesi sitayela sokuba ngumzali, abazali kuzodingeka babe yisibonelo esihle. Ngale ndlela, izingane zizofunda amakhono aphumelela kakhulu futhi zizizwe kahle ngazo kanye nemvelo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukulinganiselwa kwemingcele, ukuguquguquka kwemvelo nothando olutholakele kuzodala isibopho esivikelekile phakathi kwabazali nezingane.
Sebenzisa isitayela sokubeletha ngentando yeningi
Uma kuze kube manje usebenzise isitayela sokubeletha esingenantando yeningi futhi uthembele kakhulu kumodeli wobushiqela noma wokuvumela, isikhathi sesifikile sokuthi ukuguqule lokho, ngenxa yakho nangenxa yezingane zakho. Kepha wazi kanjani ukuthi ukhulisa ngentando yeningi? Kuzofanele ube ngumuntu ofudumele futhi onothando nezingane zakho, kepha ngasikhathi sinye kufanele ube nokuqina emithethweni, ngokulindela kwangempela maqondana nokuziphatha namakhono ezingane zakho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kuzofanele futhi uhambisane futhi uhambisane nemithetho nemiphumela oyibekayo. Izingane zakho, ngenkathi ziguquguquka ngezikhathi ezifanele. Kuzwakala kulula, kepha kuyinkimbinkimbi kunazo zonke futhi empeleni isitayela sokubeletha esiphumelela kakhulu.
Kancane kancane, kufanele ukhulise ukuzimela kwezingane zakho ukuze zikwazi ukuzimela futhi zizimele ezenzweni zazo, zazi ukuthi kufanele ziziphathe kanjani ngaso sonke isikhathi. Kepha kuzodingeka ukuthi kuhamba kancane futhi kukushiye uzimele kuphela lapho ukhombisa amandla anele. ukulawula izimo ezithile.
Ngasikhathi sinye, kubalulekile futhi ukubandakanyeka ezimpilweni zezingane zakho ukuze zazi ukuthi unendaba nakho konke okwenzekayo kuzo. Ukuze ube ngumzali oqondayo, wazi ukuthi izingane zakho zinjani noma ukuthi zidingani, kufanele uzazi, wazi ukuthi impilo yazo injani ekhaya nasesikoleni, ukuthi zenzani ngemuva kwemisebenzi yesikole, njll. Khuluma nengane yakho, lwela ukuthuthukisa ukuxhumana kwakho. Ingane yakho izokwazi ukuthi ingahlala ikuthemba, ngaphandle kokwesaba.
Kimi kubukeka kuyisitayela sobuzali, esithakazelisa ngokwedlulele ngoba sisho ukuhlakanipha ngokomzwelo ngasohlangothini lwabazali, lokhu kuyisici esivumela ukuba babeke imingcele ekuziphatheni kwezingane zabo, ngaphandle kokulimaza ubuqotho bengane.
Ngikholwa wukuthi uma bonke abazali belandela le modeli besizoba nomphakathi ofanele.