Izingane Zamahhala: Ingabe usukulungele ukunikeza inkululeko amadodakazi ethu namadodana ethu?

Lo mbhalo nge-Tree Hugger Usimemeza ngemfihlo 'encane' thina bantu abadala esiphikelela ukuyiphika, kepha-ke, iqiniso linenkani kakhulu futhi lidlula ukuqonda kwethu ... "Izingane zichitha isikhathi esincane ngaphandle kweziboshwa" Inesihloko, futhi umbhali waso (uKatherine Martinko) akanalo uvalo lapho ethi noma yisiphi isiboshwa esikhungweni esiphezulu sezokuphepha e-United States sinehora ekuseni kanye nenye ntambama ngaphandle, kuyilapho izingane zimatasa kakhulu: hhayi kuphela ngezikhathi zesikole, kodwa emisebenzini eminingi yangemva kwesikole neyenziwayo, ngaphezu kwe ukwenza umsebenzi wesikole.

Lokho kungakolunye uhlangothi lwe-Atlantic, ngoba uma ngikutshela inani lamahora ngaphandle kwesiboshwa esinombuso 'ojwayelekile' ezweni lethu (futhi qaphela! Angisho ukuthi abanalo ilungelo ), bese uwaqhathanisa nalawo wamadodakazi akho namadodana akho, umlomo wakho uvulekile futhi awuvaleki. Manje kungaba lula kimi uma leyo nkulumo kwesinye isikhathi esiyisho cishe singahlosile ingiphunyuke: “ezinye izikole zibukeka njengamajele”; kepha cha, okuthunyelwe okufundayo akukhona ngalokhu, kumayelana nokukunikeza ukunyakaza ongase ukwazi kakade, Futhi yize iqale e-US, sizwile nangayo lapha. Uyazi ukuthi ziyini 'izingane zamahhala'?

Kungumsebenzi inhloso yawo enkulu "ukubuyisela izingane emgwaqweni, kodwa futhi nokukhipha izingane ezindlini bese uzibuyisela emigwaqweni." Njengoba uTonucci ayengasho (futhi angikwazi ukukuveza kangcono) “eminyakeni engama-40, 50, 60 eyedlule, kwakungaziwa kangako ngezingane: abantu abadala kwakudingeka bazinakekele, yebo, kepha ayizange isetshenziselwe ukugxambukela izinqumo abazenzayo mayelana nesikhathi sabo samahhala". Lokhu AKUKHO ukungenelela okunikeze abantu abadala abaphilile, abakwaziyo ukuqondisa izimpilo zabo, nabathola ukuzimela nokuzimela isikhathi eside ngaphambi kweminyaka engama-25.

Sishintshe umgwaqo waba nezikhala ezivaliwe ...

Njengamanje, izingane azihambi zodwa esikoleni zize zibe neminyaka engu-13 noma ngaphezulu, futhi ngikholelwa ngobuqotho ukuthi ukuvimbela ukuxhumana kwamahhala nomgwaqo zisencane, ayenzi lutho ngaphandle kokulimaza amandla namakhono ezingane okuzinakekela. Kepha ngukuthi, ngaphezu kokususa imigwaqo (okungeyabo ngokwesokudla, noma okungenani kwabelwana ngayo), lapho besebancane sibabopha eziqiwini ezincane zezingane.

Ngokubhuka ngiqonde amapaki asezindaweni ezisemadolobheni, izikwele, izindawo ezivaliwe ezinokuheha, njll. futhi ungajabuli ngakho, sibheka ukunyakaza ngakunye size sibanikeze iziyalezo zokweqa phansi kwesilayidi. Ngiyakuqonda ukuthi akekho umama noma ubaba emhlabeni ongacabangi ngenhlalakahle yezingane zabo, futhi ngakolunye uhlangothi, kwesinye isikhathi silandela nje “imfashini”; Kungakho kungeyona inhloso yami ukusola, kepha kunalokho ukuthi sizindle ngokuhlanganyela. Ukuthi kufanele silalele kakhulu izidingo eziyisisekelo zamantombazane nabafana kucacile, kepha ngasikhathi sinye kuyadingeka ukuhlola ukwesaba kwethu uqobo.

Ngabe abazali ababi kakhulu ngokukhulula amadodana namadodakazi abo?

ULeonore Skenazy (iphayona nomsunguli wephrojekthi yeFree Range Kids) kuqala, bese kuthi abanye, phakathi kwazo kukhona iMeitivBebeyizinto zokugxekwa okuningi, nokungenelela kwamaphoyisa (yebo, njengoba ufunda). Owokuqala akazange anqikaze ukuvuma isicelo sendodana yakhe lapho eneminyaka engu-9: wayefuna ukuthi abazali bakhe bamyise endaweni angayazi edolobheni, bese bemvumela ukuthi aye ekhaya yedwa. Kushiwo futhi kwenziwa, umfana wahlala esiteshini esingaphansi komhlaba ephethe imephu ngesandla sakhe, ithikithi nemali azoyisebenzisa: wabuyela ekhaya ephephile futhi ephilile; Kungani bekufanele kwenzeke ngendlela ehlukile?

USkinazy ungumbhali wephephandaba laseNew York futhi ngemuva kokushicilela ulwazi lwakhe, wathola isidlaliso "Umama omubi kakhulu eMelika." Okomphakathi, 'izazi zemibono', noma nje labo (abanomqondo obucayi) bahlaziya indaba yalo mama, abazali abaphatha kabi izingane zabo, noma labo abazithengayo baduduza imidlalo iminyaka eyi-18 (lapho beneminyaka engu-8), noma lezo ezibanika ama-hamburger ukuba bazidle kanye ne-pasta yokudla nsuku zonke… zingcono. Kepha ngilalele: lokho akukhona ukuthi sizihlukanise ngokuhle noma kokubi, kodwa ngokuba ngcono nsuku zonke (ukunqoba amaphutha), futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke ngokubheka ubuntwana futhi, ukuqinisekisa ukukhula okunempilo.

Ngale ndlela, lezi zithandani zaseMeitiv (ezibalulwe ngenhla) zakhishwa phambili ebudedengu ngemuva kokuba abomthetho bekutholile kungafanele ukuthi izingane zabo ezineminyaka engu-6 nengu-10 ubudala zibe zodwa emigwaqweni. Ngabe akubonakali kweqisa kuwe ukuthi badlule kule nqubo?

Ukwesaba akusiye umeluleki omuhle.

ULeonore ubebuyekeza amazinga obugebengu eNew York City, kwakungo-2009 futhi wathola ukuthi ayengakhuphuki emashumini eminyaka. Angazi idatha ezweni lethu, nokuvela kwayo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kodwa Ngiyavumelana naye ukuthi izinhlekelele ezehlela izingane azivamile; futhi kuzofanele ngifanele ukubhekisa kulokho kwesaba okungachazeki omama nobaba abanakho maqondana nokuthumba, ukunyamalala noma ukudlwengulwa. Kusobala ukuthi 'ukulahleka kwemigwaqo' nakho kulethe izingozi ezinkulu zokuhlaselwa, kepha akuzona lezo zingozi uSkinazy ayekhuluma ngazo.

Angazi kahle kakhulu izinhlelo zamanethiwekhi wethelevishini esizibonayo lapha, kodwa (ngokwesibonelo) uma sibuka i- "Criminal Minds", "CSI", noma ama-movie ngokunyamalala, futhi sicabanga ukuthi empeleni yonke into injalo, sizojuluka njalo lapho izingane zifuna ukuyothatha isinkwa sodwa.

Futhi hhayi nje uchungechunge noma ama-movie, izindaba zivame ukukhombisa uhlangothi olubi kakhulu lomphakathi, futhi sigcina sizivalele emihlabeni yethu, sesaba umakhelwane wethu. Esikhundleni salokho kufanele sibuyele emphakathini, ukuzama ukuhlehlisa inqubo esheshisiwe. Ukuthembela kwabanye kuqala ngokuqeda ukwesaba kwethu, inkululeko futhi isisiza ukuthi sikhethe kangcono abantu ababelana nathi ngemfundo nokukhula.

Lo "mama omubi kakhulu" ebengingeke ngimfanele ngaleyo ndlela, uphinde wahlulelwe kanzima yimindeni enezingane ezihlelwe yilezi zinhlekelele. Banelungelo lonke lokuthukuthelela umhlaba, kepha umthwalo walezi zinto ezenzekayo akuwona owalwela ukunika izingane inkululeko engaphezulu.

Izingozi zangempela nezingagwemeka.

Njengoba omama nobaba abaningi ababuzwa ngalolu daba bethi: “Akusekho ukuthi ngicabanga ukuthi ngemuva kwekona kunomuntu omubi ongabalimaza, ukuthi kunemigwaqo eminingi eya esikoleni, futhi cha ngiyazi uma kuzobukeka kukuhle ”. Asikho isisombululo esilingana nosayizi owodwa, kepha kuyadingeka ukuphinda imiyalezo eyisisekelo yokuphepha nokuzivikela ezinganeni., ukuze bagcine sebekholelwa kuzo futhi bazisebenzise. Leso ngesinye seziqinisekiso zethu ezinhle kakhulu, lapho singangeza khona umphakathi ozinikele ebuntwaneni, okuthi ezimeni ezinzima ukwazi ukuwuvikela.

Inkululeko noma ukugadwa?

Ngikholwa ukuthi izingane ziyakwazi ukuzilawula, yize kulokhu kufanele zithole iziphakamiso noma izinkomba ezithile kubazali bazo, ake sicabange nokuthi lapho zihamba njengeqembu, banakekelane, futhi bagcine izingxabano zisemathunjini. Ungakholelwa manje ukuthi ngingumama omubi, kubonakala nje kungenandawo ukubuka yonke iminithi yezimpilo zabo, ukuze bangakhubeki, bagweme ukuba yinto yokugxekwa, noma ukuze bangenzi amaphutha.

Kungukuthi ngale ndlela bebengeke bakhule, futhi ngeke banqobe ukulinganiselwa kwabo, futhi bangaze bazizwe bekhungathekile

Kuyo yonke iminyaka yobudala eyakhe: ingane eneminyaka engu-4 ubudala ayikwazi ukuya yodwa esikoleni, kodwa ngeke umyeke ahambe ngo-7 uma ehamba nabangane futhi isikhungo sisekude ngamamitha amahlanu nemizuzu emihlanu? Futhi uma ungakwenzi, unaziphi izizathu? Ngeke ube mubi noma ube ngcono kunabanye abazali, noma ngabe umhola ngesandla noma umvumela inkululeko encane. Ngalokhu okuthunyelwe - futhi sengikushilo vele - ngifuna nje ukuthi sicabange kancane.

Ukuze ulwe nalesi “Range Kids Free” UKristen Howerton, usitshela ukuthi 'kungani kubonakala sengathi akakwazi ukumlandela'. Awubathembi ukuthi bazilawule ngokwabo ukusebenzisa kwabo ubuchwepheshe, ucabanga ukuthi badinga ukugadwa umphakathi, awufuni ukuthi izingane zakho zingene emizini yabanye abantu, ufuna izingane zakho zikwazi ukuzikhuza, futhi uzidinga hlonipha abanye.

Ngaphandle kokufisa ukuphikisa isikhundla sakhe, nokuqeda:

1. Kuyacaca ukuthi ngamadivayisi kufanele kube nokulawula usemncane, kepha futhi nokuxhumana okuningi nezingane. Uma wenza lokhu, kungenzeka ukuthi bathole ibhalansi ngokwabo.
2. Ukuphathwa komphakathi? Ngicabanga ukuthi ukubashiya bakhululekile kusho nokuthi ukuziphatha kwabo "kungalawulwa" ngabanye abantu. Kepha wukuthi izingane ezikhululekile azifani nezingane ezidelela indawo ezihlala kuyo.
3. Amantombazane nabafana bazokwazi kusukela ebuncaneni ukuthi yiziphi izindlu abangangena kuzo nokuthi yiziphi abangakwazi ukuzenza; Abantu abadala kulezo zindlu bazokwazi nokuthi ugunyaza izingane zakho, futhi kuzoba nokwethembana nokuphindisela. Kepha lezi zinto ziqala ukuxoxwa ngaphambi kweminyaka yobudala emihlanu, kancane kancane zivumelanise ulimi futhi zifake izincomo.
4. Ukuzikhuza? Yebo, kunezikhathi eziningi empilweni yomndeni lapho singabasiza bayihlakulele; ake sicabange ngakolunye uhlangothi ukuthi abanye izingane ngokukhululeka ziqoqa izinkuni zokwenza iqhugwane, nazo ziyalwa, ngaphandle kwalokho bezingaqedi ukwakhiwa.
5. Inhlonipho ifundiswa ekhaya, kepha uma ingaphumi ayikwazi ukuyisebenzisa.

Futhi manje yebo, ngizoqeda ngalesi tweet ngoLeonore Skenazy ebanga esinye sezici ezihlobene nenkululeko yezingane, ngokudlala mahhala, ngokujabulela ukuzijabulisa kwabo: "ilungelo lokuba nesithukuthezi"

Izithombe - (Okokuqala) UNicolas Alejandro Street Photogra, (Okwesihlanu) UPhilippe Put