Uma umuntu efunda ukwenza kanjalo lalela ngenhliziyo yakho izingane zakho uyakwazi ukubona abakudingayo nganoma yisiphi isikhathi futhi aphendule ngendlela enenhlonipho nenembile kakhulu. Indodana noma indodakazi yakho idinga ukuthi ufunde ukuyilalela ngokusuka enhliziyweni., ngaphandle kokwahlulela, ngaphandle kwamalebula, futhi ngaphandle kokuvumela ukwesaba noma imizwa yakho iphendukezele imizwa yabo noma lokho ababhekana nakho ngempela.
Ukuba ngumzali kuwuhambo olunzima, olugcwele izinselele nokufunda, oluhlala impilo yonke. Ungakhulisa izingane zakho nomlingani wakho noma ube ngumzali wedwa, kodwa kunoma yikuphi, Ingane yakho idinga ukwazi ukuthi wena uyisekela layo elingokomzwelo elibaluleke kakhulu.Ngesikhathi esifanayo, kubalulekile ukuthi baqaphele ukuthi banolunye usizo, njengogogo nomkhulu babo, othisha, izihlobo eziseduze noma abanakekeli, abakha inethi encane yokuphepha ebazungezile.
Wonke umuntu oyingxenye yempilo yengane unethonya ekukhuleni kwayo. ukukhula kanye nentuthuko ngokomzimba nangokomzweloNokho, akukho okuqhathaniswa nokujula kwesibopho phakathi kwabazali nezingane. Uma lesi sibopho sikhuliswa futhi siqiniswa, ukwehla nokwehla ngokomzwelo akube yingozi, ngoba Ingane yakho iyakwethemba kanye nalokho ongamtshela kona, ngisho noma engathandi lokho akuzwayo.
Ukukhulisa izingane kanye nokubaluleka kwesici semizwa
Emphakathini waseNtshonalanga, ukucabanga kanye nokukhiqiza kuvame ukuthandwa kakhulu, kodwa siyazi ukuthi uhlangothi lwesokudla lobuchopho Kusixhumanisa nobuciko, ukuzenzela izinto ngokuthanda, kanye nomcabango… izithako ezibalulekile zokuba ngumzali. Leyo ngxenye yobuchopho engokomzwelo neqondakalayo idinga ukunakekelwa. baqeqeshwe ngomama nobaba ukuze sikwazi ukulalela ngempela izingane njalo uma zikhuluma nathi.
Yebo zikhona iziqondiso eziyisisekelo zokukhulisa izingane okumele kube khona njalo: ukuqinisekisa izidingo zabo zokuphila, ukuhlinzeka ngendawo ephephile, ukubagcina kude nengozi, nokubanika uthando oluningi, ukuxhumana, kanye nothando nsuku zonke. Ngaphezu kwalokhu, kunomsebenzi wokuba qondisa izingane kanye nentsha ngendlela efanele kakhulu ngobuntu babo, kucatshangelwa imicabango yabo, izintshisekelo zabo, ijubane lentuthuko kanye nokuzwela kwabo.
Inselele ukuthi Ingane ngayinye ingadinga okuthile okuhlukile.ngisho nangaphakathi komndeni ofanayo. Okusebenza komunye umuntu kungavimba omunye ngokuphelele. Yilapho ukukhulisa izingane ngeqiniso nangobuhlakani okuphumelelayo kuqala khona: ekhonweni loku vumelanisa isitayela sethu semfundo ezidingweni ezithile ezingokomzwelo zengane ngayinye.
Ukuze kufezwe lokhu, kubalulekile ukuba ne- isimo sengqondo esivulekile nesitholakalayoUma ulalela ingane yakho ngenhliziyo yakho, izwa ukuthi uyayinaka ngempela indlela ezizwa ngayo hhayi nje lokho ekwenzayo. Lokhu kuyenza iqonde ngokujulile. umuzwa wokulondeka nenduduzo engokomzweloizinto ezibalulekile zokuthuthukisa ukuzethemba okunempilo kanye nokulawula okuhle ngokomzwelo.
Kuleli qophelo kubalulekile futhi ukubuyekeza indlela esisebenzisa ngayo ulimiIzingane zifunda kulokho ezikubonayo nezikuzwayo ekhaya. Uma zikhulela endaweni yokumemeza, ukusongela, noma ukuhlazisa njalo, cishe zizophinda lawo maqhinga nabangani bazo, abafowabo nodadewabo, othisha, noma ngisho nathi. Ukuqaphela ithoni yethu, amazwi, nendlela yokukhuluma kuyingxenye ebalulekile yokulalela ngezinhliziyo zethu.
Ukwesabisa, ukusongela, noma ukwahlulela akwakhi ubudlelwano obuhle. Kunalokho, ulimi olusekelwe ku- inhlonipho, ukucaca kanye nokuzola Kuvumela izingane ukuba nesibindi sokusho lokho ezikuzwayo nezikucabangayo. Ngale ndlela, singaguqula yonke ingxoxo ibe yindawo yokukhula hhayi umzabalazo wamandla.
Thuthukisa umuzwa ekukhuliseni
Nokho, intuition akuyona into ekhuthazwa kakhulu emasikweni amaningi aseNtshonalanga, Kuyithuluzi elinamandla kakhulu ekukhuliseni izinganeUmuzwa wethu wemvelo kanye nokuhlakanipha kwangaphakathi okubonakala ngezinye izikhathi ngaphandle kwencazelo kuyingxenye yesipho somuntu okufanele silalelwe futhi sithuthukiswe.
Njengomzali, ngokuqinisekile uke wabhekana nezimo lapho wazi khona, ngaphandle kokungabaza, lokho ingane yakho eyayikudinga ngesikhathi esithile. Mhlawumbe uzwe sengathi kukhona okungahambi kahle esikoleni ngaphambi kokuba ingane yakho isho noma yini, noma uzizwe sengathi akusona isikhathi esihle somsebenzi othile. Lokho kuqiniseka kwangaphakathi akunakuchazwa ngamazwi ngaso sonke isikhathi: kumane nje kuvela.
Mhlawumbe wake wacabanga kakhulu ngomuntu Futhi ngemva nje kwalokho, bakushayele ucingo. Noma uqede umusho wothile ngaphambi kokuba aqede nokukhuluma. Kungase kubonakale sengathi kwenzeke ngengozi, kodwa uma unaka futhi uhlakulela lolo zwela, Ukuqonda kungaba sobala futhi kube nokwethenjelwa kakhudlwana., okukusiza ukuthi uxhumane kangcono nezingane zakho.
Ukuqwashisa ngokuba khona ngokugcwele umzuzu wamanje Kuyondla leso siqondiso sangaphakathi futhi kwandisa umuzwa wokuqonda. Uma uzinika imvume yokulalela izwi lakho langaphakathi, ufunda ukuzethemba kakhulu futhi usebenzise leyo nhlanganisela uzwela kanye nokuqonda njengomlingani ezinqumweni enizenzayo njengomndeni: kusukela endleleni yokusingatha intukuthelo, kuya endleleni yokudlulisa izindaba ezinzima noma indlela yokusiza ingane yakho ibhekane nokungezwani nabangani.
Ukuqonda akuthathi indawo yolwazi noma ukuzindla, kodwa kusebenza njengesenzo ikhampasi yemizwa Kukutshela ukuthi isinqumo siyayihlonipha yini izidingo ezijulile zengane yakho. Ngokuhlanganisa ukuqonda, ulwazi, kanye nenhlonipho, ukukhulisa izingane kuba okuvumelanayo futhi kungabi nakusabela kakhulu.
Sebenzisa ulimi olucophelelayo futhi wakhe isimo sokuthembana
Ukulalela ngokusuka enhliziyweni akukhona nje ukuthula nokunaka, kodwa futhi kumayelana siphendula kanjaniNgokuvamile, abantu abadala abazi ukuthi baveza kanjani imicabango nemizwa yabo. Ngezinye izikhathi siphakamisa amazwi ethu, sisebenzisa ithoni yokudelela, noma sahlulele ngaphandle kokuzwa yonke indaba. Lokhu kwenzeka kaningi kakhulu ekukhulumisaneni nezingane.
Ukuze wakhe ubudlelwano obuhle, kuyasiza ukukhumbula izinto ezithile. izihluthulelo zokuxhumana ngenhlonipho:
- Ithoni yokubuyisanaUkukhuluma ngokuthula, ngisho nalapho kubekwa imingcele, kusiza ingane ukuba izizwe sengathi ingabelana ngemicabango nemizwa yayo ngaphandle kokwesaba ukuhlazeka noma ukujeziswa ngokuziveza.
- Ukungaguquguquki nokuqina okunenhloniphoUkuqina akusho ukuba nokhahlo, kodwa kunalokho ukugcina imingcele edingekayo ngokuchaza ukuthi kungani nokubonisa ukuthi inhlalakahle yabo iza kuqala kithi.
- Ukucaca kanye nobululaUkuchaza izinto ngendlela eqondile, ngaphandle kokushaya indlwabu noma imiyalezo ephikisanayo, kugwema ukungaqondani futhi kunikeza izingane ukulondeka.
- Ulimi oluhleUkuqaphela lokho esikushoyo nendlela esikusho ngayo kunegalelo ekwakheni noma ekubhubhiseni ukuzethemba kwezingane zethu. Akukhona ukuphika okungalungile, kodwa ukugxila endleleni yokuthuthukisa nalokho ezingakwenza.
Khumbula lokho Siyisibuko abazibona kuso Kusisiza ukuba siqaphele kakhudlwana. Uma sifuna izingane zethu zifunde ukuveza imizwa yazo ngaphandle kokumemeza, ukuxolisa, ukulalela, nokuzibeka esimweni somunye umuntu, kudingeka zisibone senza lokho kanye nsuku zonke.
Izihluthulelo ezisebenzayo zokulalela izingane zakho ngokusuka enhliziyweni
Ukulalela ngenhliziyo yakho kuyikhono elingathuthukiswa. Ngezansi uzothola amaphuzu abalulekile aphefumulelwe yingqondo yengane kanye namamodeli okuxhumana ngozwela ongawasebenzisa ekhaya:
- Nakisisa
Uma ingane yakho ifuna ukukhuluma nawe, zama ukuyinikeza ukuba khona kwakho okugcwele. Vala umakhalekhukhwiniYeka okwenzayo umbheke, noma umjoyine ngokucophelela uma wenza okunye. Izingane zingabona kalula uma wenza sengathi uyalalela nokuthi utholakala nini ngempela. - Qaphela futhi uvume imizwa yakho
Esikhundleni sokunikeza izifundo, zama beka ngamazwi lokho ocabanga ukuthi bazizwa“Ubonakala uthukuthelele umfowenu,” “Ubonakala ukhathazekile ngokwenzekile ekilasini.” Lezi zinhlobo zemisho zivula ingxoxo futhi zibakhuthaze ukuba baqhubeke bekhuluma, kuyilapho izinkulumo ezinjengokuthi “ungayeqisi” noma “kufanele uzwane nomfowenu” zivame ukuyivala. - Zijwayeze uzwela esikhundleni sokubuza imibuzo
Imibuzo efana nokuthi “Kungani unje?” ingazwakala sengathi iyahlulela. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uzwela lubonisa lokho umntwana asevele ekubonisa: “Ubonakala uthule kakhulu namuhla,” “Kubukeka sengathi kukhona okukudumaze.” Ukubuka okulula nokufudumele kukhuthaza kakhulu kunenqwaba yemibuzo. - Gwema ukukubeka ngaphansi kokukhanya
Izingane eziningi zizizwa zikhululekile ukukhuluma uma zingazizwa zibukelwe ngqo. Ngezinye izikhathi kulula ngazo ukuvuleka imizwa yazo. ngenkathi nishayela, nihamba ngezinyawo, noma nihlanza indlu ndawonyeBavame nokuvula izinhliziyo zabo ngaphambi nje kokulala, ekukhanyeni okufiphele, lapho usuku seluzolile. - Msize acubungule imizwa yakhe
Uzwela lusebenza njengesibuko: ngokuqaphela imizwa yabo, noma ngabe ayikhululekile, uyabasiza ukuthi yamukela lokho okuzwayoUma ingane izizwa iqondakala, imizwa yayo iyancipha futhi ilawuleka kalula. Ngokuphambene nalokho, imizwa ecindezelwe ivame ukuvela kamuva ngezindlela ezingalawuleki, njengokucasuka, ulaka, ukwesaba ebusuku, noma ukudlikizela kwemizwa. - Lawula isifiso sakho sokukhuluma nokuxazulula
Izikhathi eziningi kuzodingeka uzikhumbuze: "Manje sekuyisikhathi sokulalela, hhayi ukulungisa izinto." Uma uqala ukufundisa noma ukunikeza izixazululo kusenesikhathi, ingane yakho izovala. Kungcono ukusebenzisa izinkulumo ezimfushane Babonise ukuthi usekhona: "uh-huh," "Ngiyaqonda," "wow, lokho kumele ukuthi kube buhlungu." Kuzoba nesikhathi sokucabanga ndawonye ngalokho okufanele kwenziwe. - Ungazami ukushintsha imizwa yabo ngazo zonke izindleko
Ukuzama ukubakhuthaza ngokushesha kakhulu, ukunciphisa imizwa yabo (“akukubi kangako,” “wozani, ningakhali”), kuvame ukwenza kungabi wusizo okuhlangenwe nakho kwabo. Indlela ephumelela kakhulu qaphela umuzwa futhi uyibambe ngokuthula: lapho ezizwa eqondakala, uzobe esekulungele kangcono ukushintsha isimo sakhe semizwa. - Lawula imizwa yakho
Ukuze ingane yakho izizwe iphephile ukuthembela kuwe, kumelwe ufunde Ungawathathi amazwi akhe njengokuhlasela komuntu siqu.Phefumula, zinike isikhala sangaphakathi futhi ukhumbule ukuthi into ebalulekile ngaleso sikhathi ukuhambisana nalokho akuzwayo, hhayi ukukhulula umuzwa wakho wecala, ukwesaba kwakho noma intukuthelo yakho. - Sebenzisa amagama aqinisekisa ulwazi lwakho
Akudingeki usho okuningi, kodwa kwanele ukudala indawo ephephile ngokomzwelo. Imisho efana nokuthi, "Lokho kumelwe ukuba bekubuhlungu kakhulu," "Ngiyaqonda ukuthi udabukile," "Nami bengizocasuka," noma "Ngiyaxolisa ukuthi angikwazanga ukukusiza ngaleso sikhathi" ibabonise ukuthi imizwa yakho iyaqondakala. Zinengqondo futhi ziyamukelwa. - Lungisa indlela osabela ngayo esimweni sabo sengqondo
Uma esabela ngentukuthelo enkulu ngoba ehlulwe emdlalweni webhola, udinga ukuzwa ukuthi uyakuqonda ukukhungatheka kwakhe, kodwa ngaphandle kokwenza sengathi kuyinhlekelele engenakulungiswa. Ngokufanayo, uma ebhekene nobuhlungu benhliziyo yakhe yokuqala yobusha, udinga uzwela olujulile, agweme amazwi avamile anciphisa lokho okubaluleke kakhulu kuye.
Ukuqonda kanye nokuxhumana nathi kanye nabanye
Kunzima ukulalela izingane zethu ngokusuka enhliziyweni uma Asixhumene nathi ngokwethuNgaphambi kokuzivulela imizwa yethu, sidinga ukwazi ukuthi sizizwa kanjani, ukuthi yini esizwisa ubuhlungu, ukuthi yini esithusayo, nokuthi yimaphi amanxeba esisawathwele kusukela ebuntwaneni bethu.
Uma uzizwa udangele, ucindezelekile, ukhungathekile, noma unezinkinga eziningi ezingaxazululwangaNgisho noma unalawo “mabala asemphefumulweni wakho” akukhathazayo, ungase ukuthole kunzima ukuxhumana nezingane zakho ngokomzwelo ngendlela enokuthula. Akukhona ukuphelela, kodwa ukuqaphela ukulinganiselwa kwethu nokufuna ukwesekwa lapho kudingeka, ukuze “sihlanze” izinhliziyo zethu futhi sikwazi ukuzisekela kangcono.
Ukuxhumana nawe ngokwakho kuyakuvumela hlukanisa okungokwethu kokungokwabantwanaNgale ndlela sigwema ukudalula ukwesaba kwethu, ukukhungatheka, noma izinkinga ezingakaxazululwa kuzo, futhi singabona ngokucacile ukuthi yini abayidingayo ngempela esimweni ngasinye.
Izingane zidinga ukuzizwa ngathi vala, uyatholakala futhi uyiqinisoKudingeka bazizwe behlonishwa ngalokho abayikho, ngaphandle kokuzama njalo ukubabumba ukuze bavumelane nalokho esikulindele. Ukulalela ngokusuka enhliziyweni kusho ukwamukela imicabango nemizwa yabo, noma ngabe singabelani ngayo, nokubabonisa ukuthi lokho abacabanga ukuthi kufanele kuzwiwe.
Uma sivula izingqondo nezinhliziyo zethu kubantwana bethu, Siphinde sivule umhlaba wamathubaSibamema ukuba bathande, bavumelane, bathethelele, futhi babe nozwela, futhi sibanika indima ebalulekile empilweni yomndeni. Ngale ndlela, abagcini nje ngokuba abamukeli bemiyalo, kodwa bangabantu abaziswayo futhi abanemibono ebalulekile.
Indima yakho njengomhlahlandlela: ukuba khona, inhlonipho, kanye nokungaguquguquki
Vele, njengomzali, usenjalo izwi eliqondisa izingane zakhoKodwa lowo mhlahlandlela akufanele wakhelwe phezu kwamaphutha akho, ukukhungatheka kwesikhathi esidlule, noma okulindelwe okuqinile, kodwa kunalokho phezu uthando olujulile olubazwelayo kanye nesifiso esiqotho sokuthi bakhule bekhululekile, benomthwalo wemfanelo, futhi bexhumene nabo ngokwabo.
Ukukhulisa izingane ngendlela enhle nenenhlonipho akusho ukungabikho kwemingcele, kodwa kusho ukungabikho kwemingcele imingcele ecacile ekhulunywa ngayo ngozwelaKusho ukuchaza izizathu zemithetho, ukulalela ukuthi ingane izizwa kanjani ngayo, futhi, noma nini lapho kungenzeka, ukuxoxisana ngezivumelwano ezincane ukuze nabo bakwazi ukuhlanganyela ezinqumweni.
Uma ulalela ngokusuka enhliziyweni futhi ukhuluma ngenhlonipho, uba ireferensi ethembekile Umuntu ingane yakho engaphendukela kuye uma ididekile, ithukuthele, noma idabukile. Ngamanye amazwi, uma izwa kakhulu namuhla, kulapho izokwazi khona ukukuxoxela izinkinga zayo ezijulile kusasa ngaphandle kokwesaba ukwahlulelwa.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, konke okufundayo kule ndlela yokuba ngumzali oqaphelayo kungakwenza yidlulisele kwezinye izindawo zokuphila kwakhoLokhu kusebenza ebuhlotsheni bakho bothando, ubungane bakho, ngisho nomsebenzi wakho. Ukulalela ngokucophelela, ukuqinisekisa imizwa, ukukhetha amagama akho ngokucophelela, kanye nokwethemba umuzwa wakho kuyikhono elibalulekile kunoma yimuphi umongo womuntu.
Uma ubona ukuthi unebhalansi enkulu yangaphakathi, uzobona ukuthi nawe unayo impilo yomndeni evumelana kakhudlwanaUnembeza ocacile uzokuvumela ukuthi unakekele impilo yakho engokomzimba nengokomzwelo, futhi uzokusiza ukuthi izenzo zakho namazwi akho ahambisane kakhulu nezindinganiso ofuna ukuzidlulisela ezinganeni zakho.
Ukulalela izingane zakho ngokusuka enhliziyweni kuyinqubo eqhubekayo eyakhiwa ingxoxo ngengxoxo, ukubuka ngokubuka, kanye nokugona ngokugona. Ngezinye izikhathi uzokwenza amaphutha, ukhulume kakhulu, noma usabele ngenxa yokukhathala, kodwa ungaxolisa futhi, uchaze okwenzekayo, bese ubuyela endleleni yozwela. Njalo uma ukhetha ukuma, ubheke ingane yakho, futhi ulalele ngempela lokho okusemuva kwamazwi ayo, utshala imbewu yobuhlobo obuqinile obuzohlala nayo impilo yayo yonke.