Ukubeka imingcele kungenye yemisebenzi eyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu yokukhulisa izingane: sifuna ukunakekela, ukuqondisa, nokuvikela izingane zethu ngaphandle kokuwela ebugqilini noma ekuzivumeleni. Umkhawulo omuhle awuyona i-oda elingahleliwe, kodwa uhlaka oluhlinzeka ngokuphepha, olufundisa umthwalo wemfanelo, futhi olukhuthaza ubudlelwano obuvumelanayo. Ngezansi uzothola umhlahlandlela ophelele, osebenzayo, nohloniphekile wokubeka imingcele enempilo esekela intuthuko iyonke yezingane zakho.
Kungani zidingeka?
Izingane zidinga isiqondiso esivela kubantu abadala ukuze zifunde ukuthi zingafinyelela kanjani imigomo yazo ngendlela efanele kakhulu. Imingcele iyithuluzi elifanele kule nqubo.
Ziyadingeka ngoba zinikeza isivikelo nokuvikeleka . Uma ingane inamandla kunabazali bayo, ayikwazi ukuzizwa ivikelekile yibo. Zivumela izingane ukuthi zibikezele ukusabela kwabazali bazo ezimweni ezithile nasekuziphatheni okuthile. Zisiza izingane ukuba zithuthukise izindlela ezicacile mayelana nezinto. Ziyindawo yokubhekisela.
Bafundisa izingane indlela yokulahla izifiso zazo. Lokhu kuzilungiselela izimo ezifanayo ezizolethwa yimpilo.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, imingcele yenza kube lula ukuzilawula ngokomzwelo nokuzithiba: ngokwazi ukuthi yini elindelekile kubo, izingane zingalindela futhi zilawule kangcono izifiso zazo. Ziphinde zikhuthaze ukuzivumelanisa nezimo emphakathini , njengoba imithetho yasekhaya iba ibhuloho eliya emithethweni yesikole neyomphakathi. Futhi uma isetshenziswa ngothando nangokungaguquguquki, iqinisa ukunamathelana okuphephile , ngoba izingane zibona ukuthi abantu abadala bayayikhathalela inhlalakahle yazo ngisho nalapho zithi "cha."
Ungayibeka kanjani i- "cha" eqinile futhi unamathele kuyo
Ukubeka imingcele kusho ukuthi "cha," ngoba akuzona zonke izinto ezingenzeka . "Cha" futhi ukukhungatheka kuyingxenye ebalulekile yobuntu bomntwana; kwethula umqondo wokulinda , lapho kungeke konke kuneliseke khona ngokushesha.
Ukumisa imingcele kudinga igunya, ukuzethemba, nokuqina . Lezi zimfanelo akufanele zididaniswe nobushiqela. Uma umkhawulo ubekwa kakhulu, ngendlela engaguquki, unciphisa amathuba engane kunokuba umsize.
Kubalulekile futhi ukugcina ukuma okuqinile . Uma "cha" ngesikhathi esithile kuguqulwa kube "yebo" ngenxa yokuphikelela kwengane yethu, ingane izothola imiyalezo exubile ezoyidida.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukubeka imingcele kufanele kube inqubo ehlanganyelwe futhi evunyelwene ngayo phakathi kwabantu abadala, okuhlanganisa nogogo nomkhulu , futhi ehambisanayo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Ingane idinga ulwazi lokubona lokho esanda kutshelwa kuqinisekiswa ngabantu abadala. Isibonelo, uma izama ukuthinta umphetho wommese, unina uzoyixwayisa ngokuthi "cha" ecacile, eqinile, neqondile. Bazophinda umzamo wabo, bezama ukuthola ukuthi uyise naye uzoyivimba yini.
Ngokuvamile izingane azamukeli izincazelo, kodwa "cha" enikezwa abazali ngokuzimisela nangokuzola iyamukelwa futhi iyaqinisekisa futhi inokuthula.
Ukuze wandise ukusebenza kahle kokuthi "cha," faka izici zokuziphatha okuhle kanye nokuxhumana okunenhlonipho:
- Ukuxhumana ngaphambi kokulungiswa: Qinisekisa imizwa (“Ngiyabona ukuthi unenkinga yokuyeka ukudlala”) bese usetha umkhawulo (“Manje sesiwalahla amathoyizi”).
- Ulimi oluhle nolucacile: Isho okulindelekile (“Sihamba ngaphakathi endlini”) esikhundleni sokumane ukwenqabele (“Ungagijimi”).
- Ukulindela okungokoqobo: lungisa umkhawulo weminyaka kanye nomzuzu (ukukhathala, indlala, izinguquko).
- Isimo: Umthetho ofanayo uyasebenza namuhla nakusasa, kumama nobaba.
- Imodeli yabantu abadala: Yenza njengoba ufuna ingane yakho yenze; isibonelo sakho sibeka umkhawulo.
Uma ukuthi "cha" kubalulekile impela, hamba nakho okunye okuphathekayo ("Ibhola akulona elegumbi lokuphumula; lingelenkundla yokudlala"). Lokhu kusiza ingane ukuthi iqonde incazelo yomkhawulo futhi ithole izinketho ezamukelekayo ezihambisana nezidingo zayo.
Izici ngokusho kweminyaka
Kubalulekile ukubeka imingcele kusukela ngesikhathi ingane yakho izalwa. Kunconywa ukuthi ubeke amashejuli okuyondla nokulala . Lokhu kusiza ekuvimbeleni ukukhathazeka okukhulu ngokuyiqinisekisa ukuthi izidingo zayo zizohlangatshezwa ngokushesha nangokufanele.
Uma ingane iqala ukuhambahamba yodwa futhi iqala ukudlala, kubalulekile futhi ukunikeza imingcele nokuyivimbela ekuguquleni indlu yonke ibe yindawo yayo yokudlala. Isibonelo, nakuba kubalulekile ukuyikhuthaza ukuthi idwebe futhi ipende, kunengqondo ngayo ukuthi ifunde ukuthi izindonga akuzona indawo yokuveza ubuhlakani bayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kubalulekile ukucacisa ukuthi yiziphi izinto ezingavunyelwe nokuthi yiziphi imisebenzi engafanele ngoba zingayilimaza noma ziyibeke engcupheni.
Njengoba ingane ikhula, u-"cha" kufanele ahambisane nencazelo emsiza ukuba aqonde umkhawulo futhi amvumele ukuthi alindele isimo kusengaphambili. Isibonelo, singamtshela ukuthi, njengoba sekuqala ukuhwalala, sizomtshela indaba yokugcina bese eyalala.
Lapho sebeneminyaka emibili, izingane ziqala ukukhuluma ngemingcele yazo nomhlaba wangaphandle mayelana nezidingo zazo. Ngaphezu kwesikhathi esisodwa, sizozizwa zithi "cha" zona ngokwazo ziphendula ulaka noma amanga avela kumngane.
Umhlahlandlela wesinyathelo ngesinyathelo osheshayo wokuhambisana nalokhu okungenhla:
- Babies: izinqubo ezibikezelwayo, izinkomba ezicacile (ukukhanya okufiphele kokulala, ukudlala okusebenzayo kokuvuka), kanye nemingcele ephephile yomzimba (izinsimbi, izitolo ezivikelekile).
- Iminyaka engu-1-3: imikhawulo embalwa ebalulekile, imisho emifushane nebambekayo, ukusekelwa ngokomzimba okumnene (ukuqondisa kabusha isandla), nezinketho ezilinganiselwe (“Ingabe uyawabeka kuqala amabhlogo noma izincwadi?”).
- Iminyaka engu-4-7: imithetho ebonwayo, imiphumela elula enengqondo (uma kukhona ukuchitheka, siyasiza ekukuhlanzeni), kanye nokuzijwayeza kwamakhono (“nishintshana,” “ukulinda” nemidlalo).
- Iminyaka engu-8-12: ukubamba iqhaza ezivumelwaneni zomndeni, iminyaka etuswayo yokuthi ingane ibe nomakhalekhukhwini, kanye nemithwalo yemfanelo yasekhaya ecacile, ngokulandelelwa njalo.
- Ubusha: ukuxoxisana nokuvumelana nezimo nemikhawulo yokuphepha okungaxoxiswana ngayo (izikhathi zokufika, ukusetshenziswa), ukukhuthazwa kokuzimela okunomthwalo wemfanelo kanye nenkhulumomphendvulwano mayelana nezizathu namanani (ukucabanga kwangaphambili kuhlanganisiwe).
Basebenza nini?
Ukuze ingane izimisele ukwamukela imithetho noma imingcele ebekwe abazali, kubalulekile ukuthi kube nesimo esihle somndeni , esigcwele uthando nothando.
Abazali kumele baqiniseke ngalokho abakufunayo, ngakho-ke, kumele bagcizelele ukuthi kufezwe.
Imithetho ebekiwe kufanele icace, ifanele iminyaka, futhi idingeke ngempela. Akufanele ibe ngokweqile, njengoba lokhu kuyenza ingasebenzi kahle.
Abazali kumele baziphathe ngendlela ehambisana nalokho okulindelekile kubo. Masikhumbule ukuthi sifundisa nangesibonelo.
Kujwayelekile ukuthi izingane zihlole imingcele ngesimo sazo sengqondo nokuziphatha kwazo. Kulapha lapho kudingeka uqine khona, ngoba uma uvuma, kuzoba nzima kakhulu ukuphinda uhloniphe leyo mithetho kamuva.
Konke lokhu akukuvimbeli isidingo sokuba abazali bamukele isimo sengqondo esiguquguqukayo esibavumela ukuthi bavumelanise le mithetho nesimo, umzuzu, kanye nobudala obuthile bengane.
Izihluthulelo zempumelelo:
- ukuxhumana okuvulekile: Ukulalela ngentshiseko, ukuqinisekisa imizwa nokuchaza “kungani” ngolimi olulula.
- Izivumelwano zomndeni: Ukubandakanya izingane ekudaleni imithetho kukhulisa ukuzibophezela futhi kunciphisa ukumelana.
- Izindlela kanye nokulindela: Izikhumbuzi ngaphambi kwezinguquko (igumbi lokugezela, ukushiya ipaki) zinciphisa izingxabano.
- Ukuqiniswa okuhle: Ukukhomba abakwenzayo kahle nokubona imizamo yabo kuqinisa ukuzethemba nokubambisana.
- UkumodelaIzingane zifunda ngokubuka; inhlonipho nokubekezela kwabantu abadala kuhambisana nezinga.
Cha ku- "chirlo" noma "ukushaya"
Cishe sonke sesizwile isisho esithi “ukushaya ngesikhathi esifanele kufanele amazwi ayinkulungwane.” Kubalulekile ukuthi singanqotshwa yisilingo salolu hlobo lokujezisa olubonakala lulula . Ngaphandle kokujeziswa ngumthetho ngoba kwephula isithunzi sengane, umphumela walo uhlala isikhathi esifushane kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, kuzodingeka uphindaphindwe njalo futhi kungaba umkhuba kalula.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, izingane ezincane zingabalingisi abakhulu futhi zikopisha izenzo zethu kanye nesimo sethu sengqondo. Kungenzeka kakhulu ukuthi ingane eshaywa ngabazali bayo, nayo izoshaya abangane bayo kanye nabo ekilasini.
Ukujeziswa ngokomzimba kwehlisa ukuzethemba , kukhuthaza ukuziphatha okungekuhle emphakathini, futhi kuvimbela ukufunda. Ukushaya, ukumemeza, nokuncinza kubonisa kuphela ukungabi nasineke kwethu kanye nokuntuleka kwethu kwezinye izindlela zemfundo ezihlakaniphe kakhulu.
Esikhundleni sobudlova, khetha imiphumela yemfundo kanye nemikhuba yokubuyisela esimweni: ukulungisa umonakalo, ukuxolisa ngobuqotho, kanye nokuzijwayeza ikhono elilahlekile (ukushintshana, ukukhuluma ngenhlonipho). Yileyo ndlela ofundisa ngayo ngempela.
Ezinye izindlela
Kubalulekile ukuzinika isikhathi esanele . Uma othile ezizwa engaphilile, engazwani namanye amalungu omndeni, ezizwa ecindezelekile, noma esaba usuku oluzayo, izingane zizokuzwa lokhu kucindezeleka.
Imithetho kufanele imiswe ngokuvumelana phakathi kwabazali nezingane; kufanele ibe umkhiqizo wengxoxo nokuqonda.
Uma sichaza incazelo noma isizathu ngemuva kwemingcele kubantwana bethu, sibazisa njengabantu abakwaziyo ukuqonda nokubafundisa amalungelo abo okuqinisekisa . Ukunganaki imingcele kumele kube nemiphumela . Le miphumela kufanele ilingane, iqonde, futhi, ngangokunokwenzeka, isheshe ifane nesimo esibabangelayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kufanele ibe nokuxhumana kwemvelo noma okunengqondo nokuziphatha okukhulunywa ngakho.
Isiyalo siyasebenza uma abantu abadala beqinile, beqaphela futhi benothando , hhayi uma bekhuluma ngokunganaki. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi ukubeka imingcele kuyindlela yokubonisa isithakazelo nothando ezinganeni zethu.
Ukuze konke okungenhla kube wusizo kakhudlwana, cabangela lawa maqhinga asekelwe ekuziphatheni okuhle :
- ukuxhumana okucacileSebenzisa ulimi olulula, oluqondile, noluhambisana neminyaka. Gwema izinkulumo ezinde phakathi kwezingxabano.
- Imiphumela yemvelo: Vumela ingane ukuthi ibone umphumela wesenzo sayo (uma ingagqoki ijazi, izozizwa ibanda). Basekele ngozwela.
- Imiphumela enengqondo: okuhlobene, okuhloniphekile futhi okunengqondo (uma uchitha amanzi, usiza ukuwahlanza; uma ungavali ikhonsoli ngesikhathi, ulahlekelwa isikhathi segeyimu ngosuku olulandelayo).
- izinketho ezilinganiselwe: Banikeza umuzwa wokulawula ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa uhlaka (“Ingabe usushawa manje noma emizuzwini emi-5 ngewashi?”).
- Ulimi oluqondisayo: igxilisa umlayezo ekuziphatheni hhayi kulebula (“Asishayi; sisebenzisa amagama ukuze sisho okusikhathazayo”).
- Ukuxoxisana kancane kancane: amathuba engeziwe okubamba iqhaza emithethweni njengoba ikhula, kuyilapho igcina ukuphepha okungaxoxiswana ngakho.
- Ukuqiniswa okuhle: ibona umzamo, ukubambisana nenqubekelaphambili ebonakalayo (“Ngiqaphele ukuthi uxwayise ngaphambi kokumemeza namuhla, kuhle!”).
- Imijikelezo nokubonwayo: Amathebula alula nezikhumbuzi zangaphambi kwenguquko zinciphisa ukungqubuzana kwansuku zonke.
Amanye amagama awusizo abonisa imingcele ngenhlonipho nangokucacile:
- “Ngiyazi ukuthi ufuna ukuqhubeka nokudlala, manje thinta Phakamisa. Ingabe ukhetha ukusindisa izimoto noma izingxenye ezinkulu kuqala?
- "Ekhaya sihamba ngezinyawo ukuzinakekela. Uma ufuna ukugijima, asiye evulandi."
- "Umzimba wakho ngowakho nokwabanye futhi; sisebenzisa izandla ezithambileyo, hhayi ukulimaza.”
- “Ungadlala Ngemva kwemizuzu engu-30 ukuze uqedele imisebenzi yakho. Uyafuna ukusetha isibali sikhathi?
- “Ngiyabona ukuthi uphatheke kabi; lapho wehlisa umoya "Siyaxoxa futhi sibheke isixazululo ndawonye."
Hlukanisa phakathi kwemingcele nezijeziso
Nakuba imingcele ibeka okulindelwe futhi ifundisa amakhono, isijeziso sisabela ngobuhlungu noma ngokuhlazeka futhi asifundisi isikhathi eside. Ukuhlanganiswa kwemingcele ecacile, imiphumela enengqondo, kanye nokusekelwa ngokomzwelo kukhiqiza ukufunda okuhlala njalo.
Ukuzithiba kwabazali nokuzinakekela
Ukuziphatha kwabantu abadala "kuyi-thermostat" yasekhaya. Prakthiza ukuphumula okucabangayo (ukuphefumula, ubale kuze kube ngu-10), lungiselela imisho yokuzithiba ("Ngingabhekana nalokhu ngokuthula"), bese ucela ukwesekwa uma ukudinga. Ukuzinakekela kukuvumela ukuthi uhlale uqinile ngomusa futhi ugweme ukuklabalasa.
Izinselelo ezijwayelekile kanye nendlela yokubhekana nazo
- Ukuphikiswa: Iqinisekisa imizwa, inikeza izinketho ezikhawulelwe, futhi isebenzisa imiphumela enengqondo ngaphandle kwezinsongo.
- ukungahambisaniImithetho embalwa, ekhethwe kahle futhi esetshenziswa njalo. Ikhwalithi ingcono kunobuningi.
- Izingxabano phakathi kwezelamani: yeka ulaka, hlukanisa, qinisekisa futhi uqondise izixazululo (ukuphenduka, izivumelwano).
- Iyaphinda: Yenza isilingo nephutha kube ngokujwayelekile; buyekeza izivumelwano bese ubuyela ohlelweni ngokuhambisana nothando.
Imingcele iyingxenye yemvelo… kanye nempilo. Izingane zidinga imingcele ukuze zikhule zijabule, zikhululekile, futhi zizethemba. Imikhawulo ethile iyadingeka—futhi singasho nokuthi ibalulekile—ukukhuthaza intuthuko enempilo nokukhuthaza ukuxhumana okuhle komphakathi.
Ukubeka imingcele ngesikhathi sokukhulisa izingane ngenhlonipho kusalokhu kungenye yezinkinga ezinzima kakhulu komama nobaba. Imingcele inikeza ukunakekelwa , ukuvikeleka, futhi isiza izingane ukuqonda ukuthi umhlaba wazo usebenza kanjani. Ifundisa izingane ukuqaphela izingozi, ukuba nomthwalo wemfanelo, nokusebenzisana nendawo ezikuyo.
Sivame ukukhohlwa ukuthi ukubeka imingcele akufani nokuyifaka. Umkhawulo awusijeziso: kuwumphumela wangempela nohlala njalo. Uma sicabanga ukuthi ukubeka imingcele kuhlobene nokukhulisa izingane ngobudlova, sizokuthola kunzima ukuyigcina ngokuthula nangokuzethemba.
Imingcele kufanele ibekwe ngozwela, inhlonipho , kanye nokutholakala kalula. Kumelwe icace, ihambisane nesikhathi, ihambisane, futhi iphoqelelwe. Ngaphezu kwakho konke, umphumela oqondile wesenzo samanje namanje.
Isibonelo esisebenzayo: “Asidlali ngebhola egumbini lokudlela” (umngcele wamazwi). Uma beqhubeka, beka umngcele ongokoqobo ngobumnene: “Ngiyabona ukuthi unenkinga yokuma; ngizolibeka eceleni ibhola .” Uma bethukuthela, zwelana nabo: “Ngiyaqonda ukuthi uphatheke kabi ngokungadlali lapha; singadlala enkundleni yokudlala uma kungenzeka.”
Indlela okhuluma ngayo ibalulekile: hlala uzolile , ungathethi noma uphathe wonke umuntu ngokulinganayo. Asikho isidingo sokuthethelela ngokweqile; ukuzethemba nokuqina kukukhuthaza ukwethenjwa. Gwema amalebula ("umubi"); esikhundleni salokho, khombisa ukuziphatha ("asikuthandi").
Icebiso eliwusizo: imingcele ecacile , enemisho emifushane nemiyalelo eqondile, iwusizo kakhulu. "Lena i-lipstick yami futhi akuyona eyokudlala ngayo. Nansi ipensela nephepha lokudweba."
Imingcele iyadingeka futhi iyazuzisa uma sazi ukuthi singayisungula kanjani futhi siyilondoloze kanjani. Ukungabikho kwemingcele noma ukungaguquguquki kudala ukunamathelana okungazethembi futhi kuvimbele ukuzilawula , ukuphathwa kokukhungatheka, kanye nokuxhumana nabantu. Ngakho-ke, ukukhulisa izingane ngenhlonipho nakho kuhlonipha iqiniso : umhlaba ugcwele imingcele, futhi ukufunda ukuhlala nayo ngendlela enempilo kunika amandla izingane.
Ukubeka imingcele enempilo kuyindlela yokuthanda kangcono : kuqondisa ngaphandle kokuhlazisa, kuvikela ngaphandle kokulawula ngokweqile, futhi kufundisa amakhono okuphila. Ngokuxhumana ngokomzwelo, imithetho ecacile, imiphumela enengqondo, kanye nesibonelo somuntu omdala, umndeni uthola ukuzola, ukubambisana, kanye nenhlalakahle ehlala njalo.
