Uma ufuna ukugwema ukuba nezingane ezithandanayo, ungazibeki ngokweqile. Lowo ngumyalezo omkhulu wesifundo esisha esenziwe iqembu labaphenyi e-Ohio State University eColumbus naseNyuvesi yase-Amsterdam eNetherlands, elishicilelwe kwi Izinqubo ze-US National Academy of Sciences. Abaphenyi benze lolu cwaningo ngenhloso yokuqonda umsuka we ukucabanga. Ngokunjalo, lesi yisifundo sokuqala esizoba khona sokuphenya ukuthi i-narcissism ikhula kanjani.
Abazali abaningi baphatha izingane zabo njengabantu abangaphezu kwabo bonke abantu, njengokungathi zifanelwe okungaphezulu ngokukhethekile. Akungabazeki ukuthi kubazali izingane zabo zikhetheke kakhulu emhlabeni. Futhi akufanele kubhekelwe lokho ukuzihlonipha yezingane ibalulekile ekukhuleni kwazo okufanele. Kepha ukubabheka ngokweqile akukhuphuli amazinga abo okuzethemba, kepha kunalokho kubenza babe ngabakwa-narcissistic. Ngizokutshela ngokuningiliziwe ngezansi.
Ukuzethemba Vs Narcisimo
Abantu abangamaNarcissistic bazizwa bengcono kunabanye, bacabanga ngempumelelo yabo, futhi bakholelwa ukuthi bafanelwe ukuphathwa ngendlela ekhethekile. Lapho bezizwa belulazekile, bavame ukukhamuluka ngendlela enobudlova noma enobudlova. Ukwazi umsuka we-narcissism kubalulekile ekwakhiweni kokungenelela okusiza ukunciphisa noma ukuphazamisa ukukhula kwayo.
Lolu cwaningo lufuna ukukhombisa ukuthi i-narcissism ezinganeni ihlwanyelwa ukukala ngokweqile kwabazali abakholelwa ukuthi izingane zabo zikhetheke kakhulu futhi zinamalungelo amaningi kunabanye. Ngokuphambene nalokho, i- imfudumalo yabazali kusiza ukulima okuphezulu ukuzihlonipha ezinganeni lapho zikhombisa izingane zazo uthando nokwazisa.
Imiphumela yalolu cwaningo ikhombisa ukuthi i-narcissism ingene ngaphakathi kokuhlangenwe nakho kokuqala komphakathi, futhi iphakamisa ukuthi ukungenelela kokuqeqeshwa kwabazali kungasiza ekwehliseni intuthuko ye-narcissistic futhi kwehlise nezindleko zayo emphakathini.
Ukuthuthukiswa kokufunda
Iqembu laqasha izingane ezingama-565 eNetherlands nabazali bazo. Izingane bezineminyaka ephakathi kuka-7 no-11 ngesikhathi kuqala isifundo. Ababambiqhaza baphothule ucwaningo oluhleliwe amahlandla amane phakathi nocwaningo, ngesikhawu sezinyanga eziyi-6 phakathi kocwaningo ngalunye. Ocwaningweni, abazali bacelwe ukuthi balinganise esikalini ukuthi bavumelana kangakanani nezitatimende ezihlobene nengane yabo, ezinjengokuthi "Ingane yami iyisibonelo esihle kwezinye izingane."
Zombili izingane nabazali babuzwa ngemfudumalo engokomzwelo eboniswa ngabazali. Abazali bacelwe ukuthi balinganise izitatimende ezinjengokuthi "Ngazisa indodana yami ukuthi ngiyayithanda." Izingane zacelwa ukuthi zilinganise izitatimende ezinjengokuthi "ubaba / umama ungazisa ukuthi uyangithanda."
Abaphenyi babenentshisekelo yokuhlukanisa i-narcissism nokuzethemba phakathi kwabahlanganyeli, futhi ngokwenza lokho benza izilinganiso ezinganeni zalezi zimfanelo zombili.
"Abantu abanokuzethemba okuphezulu bacabanga ukuthi balungile njengabanye, kanti abakwa-narcissists bacabanga ukuthi bangcono kunabanye", kusho uBrad Bushman, obengumbhali wesifundo kanye noprofesa wezokuxhumana nezengqondo e-Ohio University.
Ocwaningweni, izingane ezinokuzethemba okuphezulu zivumelene nezitatimende eziphakamisa ukuthi zijabule ngathi futhi ziyaluthanda uhlobo lomuntu eziyilo, ngaphandle kokuzisho ukuthi zikhetheke kakhulu kunabanye.
USolwazi Bushman nozakwabo bathole ukuthi izingane ezichazwe abazali bazo ocwaningweni "njengezikhethekile kunezinye izingane" futhi "ezifanelwe okungaphezulu empilweni" zenze kangcono ekuhlolweni kwe-narcissism.
“Izingane ziyabakholelwa abazali bazo uma zibatshela ukuthi zibaluleke ngaphezu kwabanye. Lokho ngeke kubalungele bona noma umphakathi », kusho uSolwazi Bushman.
Abazali beqisa ngokweqile izingane zabo ukuze zikhulise ukuzethemba kwazo
Umlobi oholayo u-Eddie Brummelman, umcwaningi e-University of Amsterdam, uphakamisa ukuthi abazali bangadlula ngokweqile ezinganeni zabo ngenhloso yokukhulisa ukuzethemba kwabo, "Esikhundleni sokwandisa ukuzethemba, ukubheka ngokweqile kungakhuphula amazinga e-narcissism ungahlosile."
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukweqisa ngokweqile kwabazali akuhlotshaniswanga esifundweni namazinga aphezulu okuzethemba ezinganeni. Kodwa-ke, bekukhona ukuhlangana phakathi kwabazali abakhombise imfudumalo engokomzwelo nezingane ezikhombise ukuzethemba okuphezulu ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Futhi, ucwaningo alutholanga ukuhlangana phakathi kwemfudumalo yabazali kanye ne-narcissism.
Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi uSolwazi Bushman uthi njengobaba wezingane ezintathu, indlela yakhe yokuba ngumzali isishintshile ngenxa yocwaningo lwakhe. “Ngesikhathi ngiqala ukwenza lolu cwaningo ngeminyaka yama-1990s, ngangicabanga ukuthi izingane zami kufanele ziphathwe njengabantu abakhetheke ngokweqile. Ngiyaqikelela ukuthi angikwenzi lokho manje. Kubalulekile ukuveza imfudumalo ezinganeni zakho ngoba kungakhuthaza ukuzethemba, kepha ukuzibheka ngokweqile kungakhuthaza ubudlova obuningi.
Ababhali bakholelwa ukuthi imiphumela yabo iyawusekela umqondo wokuthi ukungenelela kwabazali kungafundisa abazali ukuthi bakhombise uthando ezinganeni zabo ngaphandle kokubatshela ukuthi baphakeme kunezinye izingane. "Ucwaningo lwesikhathi esizayo kufanele luhlole ukuthi lokhu kungasebenza yini", Kuphetha uBrummelman.
Comentarios
Ukuzizwa ungcono kunabanye kususa abantu enjabulweni. I-narcissism ingaze ibe yisifo.
Ukufundisa ukuzethemba kubandakanya okungaphezulu kakhulu kokuthi ingane izizwa ibalulekile. Ingane, ngaphezu kokwazi amandla ayo, nayo kufanele ifunde ukuthi buyini ubuthakathaka bayo futhi ifunde ukuthi ingabunqoba kanjani. Ingane kufanele ifunde ukuthi ingathuthuka, futhi kufanele ifunde ukubaluleka kokuzibekela imigomo enengqondo nokuzwa injabulo yokuyifinyelela.