Kana iwe uchida kudzivirira kuva nevana vanonyengedza, usanyanya kuvaremekedza. Ndiwo meseji huru yechidzidzo chitsva neboka revaongorori paOhio State University kuColumbus neYunivhesiti yeAmsterdam muNetherlands, yakaburitswa mu Kuenderera kweUS National Academy yeSainzi. Vatsvakurudzi vakaita chidzidzo ichi nechinangwa chekunzwisisa kwakatangira narcissism. Saizvozvo, ichi ndicho chekutanga chinotarisirwa kudzidza kuongorora kuti narcissism inokura sei.
Vabereki vazhinji vanobata vana vavo sekunge vari kupfuura vamwe vese, sekunge vanokodzera zvakanyanya kuve vakakosha. Hapana mubvunzo kuti kuvabereki vana vavo ndivo vakanyanya kukosha pasirese. Uyewo hazvifanirwe kutarisirwa izvo kuzvidzora yevana yakakosha mukukura kwavo kwakakodzera. Asi kuvakoshesa hakuwedzeri huwandu hwavo hwekuzviremekedza, asi kuti zviite kuti vave narcissistic. Ini ndichakuudza zvakadzama pazasi.
Kuzvishingisa Vs Narcisimo
Vanhu veNarcissistic vanonzwa vakakwirira kupfuura vamwe, vachifungidzira nezve kubudirira kwavo, uye vanotenda kuti vanofanirwa kurapwa kwakasarudzika. Kana vachinge vanzwa vanyadziswa, vanowanzopopota zvine hukasha kana kutova nechisimba. Kuziva mavambo enarcissism kwakakosha kune dhizaini yekupindira iyo inobatsira kudzikisira kana kukanganisa kukura kwayo.
Ichi chidzidzo chinoda kuratidza kuti narcissism muvana inokurirwa nekuwedzeredza kwevabereki vanotenda kuti vana vavo vakanyanya kukosha uye vane kodzero zhinji kupfuura vamwe. Pane kupokana, iyo kudziya yevabereki inobatsira kurima yakakwira kuzvidzora muvana pavanoratidza vana vavo rudo uye kuonga.
Mhedzisiro yenyaya iyi inoratidza kuti narcissism yakadzika midzi mune zvekutanga zviitiko zvehukama, uye zvinoratidza kuti kupindira kwekudzidzisa kwevabereki kunogona kubatsira kudzikisira narcissistic budiriro uye kudzikisa mutengo wayo kuruzhinji.
Kudzidza kusimudzira
Chikwata chakatora vana mazana mashanu nemakumi matanhatu nenomwe muNetherlands nevabereki vavo. Vana vaive pakati pemakore manomwe ne565 pakatanga kudzidza. Vatori vechikamu vakapedza zviyero zvakaenzanisirwa kane panguva yekudzidza, paine nguva yemwedzi mitanhatu pakati peimwe ongororo. Mune ongororo idzi, vabereki vakabvunzwa kuyera pachiyero kuti vakabvumirana zvakadii nezvakataurwa zvine chekuita nemwana wavo, senge "Mwana wangu muenzaniso wakanaka kune vamwe vana."
Vese vana nevabereki vakabvunzwa nezve kudziya kwepamoyo kunoratidzwa nevabereki. Vabereki vakakumbirwa kuyera zvirevo zvakaita sekuti "Ndinoita kuti mwanakomana wangu azive kuti ndinomuda." Vana vakakumbirwa kuyera zvirevo zvakaita sekuti "baba / mai vangu vandizivise kuti vanondida."
Vatsvakurudzi vaifarira kusiyanisa narcissism kubva pakuzviremekedza pakati pevatori vechikamu, uye kuita izvi vakaita zviyero muvana veese hunhu.
"Vanhu vane kuzvitutumadza kwakanyanya vanofunga kuti vakanaka sevamwe, nepo varapi venhema vachifunga kuti vari nani kupfuura vamwe", akadaro Brad Bushman, mumwe-munyori wechidzidzo uye purofesa wezvekutaurirana nepfungwa kuOhio University.
Muchidzidzo ichi, vana vane kuzvitutumadza kukuru vakabvumirana nezvakataurwa zvichiratidza kuti vaifara nezvavo uye kuti vaifarira mhando yemunhu wavanga vari, vasingataure pamusoro pavo kuti vaive vakakosha kudarika vamwe.
Muzvinafundo Bushman nevamwe vake vakaona kuti vana avo vakatsanangurwa nevabereki vavo mumaongororo se "vakanyanya kukosha kupfuura vamwe vana" uye "vanokodzera zvakanyanya muhupenyu" vakaita zvirinani pakuyedzwa kwehurombo.
“Vana vanotenda vabereki vavo pavanovaudza kuti vanokosha kudarika vamwe. Izvo hazvigone kuve zvakanaka kwavari kana kwenzanga », anodaro Professor Bushman.
Vabereki vanowedzeredza vana vavo kuti vawedzere kuzviremekedza
Mutungamiri anotungamira Eddie Brummelman, muongorori paUniversity yeAmsterdam, anoti vabereki vanogona kupfuudza vana vavo mukuyedza kuzviremekedza, asi "Panzvimbo pekuwedzera kuzviremekedza, kunyanyisa kukoshesa kunogona kusimudza nenjodzi nekusaziva."
Uyezve, kuwedzeredza kwevabereki hakuna kubatana muchidzidzo nematanho epamusoro ekuzviremekedza muvana. Nekudaro, pakanga paine kuwirirana pakati pevabereki vakaratidza kudziya kwepamoyo uye vana vakaratidza kuzvidzora kwakakwirira nekufamba kwenguva. Pamusoro pezvo, chidzidzo chacho hachina kuwana hukama pakati pehunodziya hwevabereki uye narcissism.
Sezvineiwo, Muzvinafundo Bushman anoti sababa vevatatu, maitiro avo ekuva mubereki achinja nekuda kwekutsvaga kwake. “Pandakatanga kuita ongororo iyi muma1990, ndaifunga kuti vana vangu vanofanirwa kubatwa sekunge vanonyanya kukosha. Ini ndinochenjerera kuti ndisazviita izvozvi. Izvo zvakakosha kuratidza hushamwari kuvana vako nekuti zvinogona kusimudzira kuzviremekedza, asi kuvakoshesa kunogona kukurudzira narcissism yakawanda.
Vanyori vanotenda kuti mhedzisiro yavo inotsigira pfungwa yekuti kupindira kwevabereki kunogona kudzidzisa vabereki kuratidza rudo kuvana vavo vasina kuvaudza kuti vari pamusoro pevamwe vana. "Zvidzidzo zvenguva yemberi zvinofanirwa kuyedza kuti izvi zvinogona kushanda", Brummelman anopedzisa.
mashoko
Kunzwa zvirinani kupfuura vamwe kunotorera vanhu kure nemufaro. Narcissism inogona kutoshanduka kuita chirwere.
Kudzidzisa mukuzviremekedza kunosanganisira zvinopfuura chokwadi chekuti mwana anonzwa kukosheswa. Mwana, pamusoro pekuziva masimba ake, zvakare anofanira kudzidza kuti ndeupi utera hwake uye kudzidza kudzikunda. Mwana anofanirwa kudzidza kuti anogona kuvandudza, uye anofanirwa kudzidza kukosha kwekumisikidza zvinangwa chaizvo uye nekunzwa mufaro kuzviwana.